The futility of reviewing the Charlie Sheen tour
Charlie Sheen’s “Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option” tour has been taking a beating from critics as it trundles across the United States, pouring publicity upon Sheen like rain.
“Forgettable,” wrote the Associated Press. The Boston Globe called the show a “dreary debacle.” A Boston Herald columnist described Sheen’s show as “a pathetic little party.”
The New York Times, reviewing the first show of the tour, in Detroit, whacked Sheen upside the head with some classy writing: “The show — a ragged mix of video clips, ear-splitting music, profanity-laced monologues and clumsy attempts to encourage audience participation — did not so much end as collapse.”
What did these reviewers expect? That was Charlie Sheen up on stage.
You know, Charlie Sheen, the actor who has been in rehab at least three times, the bad boy who boasts about his substance abuse, the actor who has been successful in movies and on TV but never on stage.
Here’s how Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times, reviewing Sheen’s Chicago show on April 3, put it:
Sheen has a limited but undeniable skill set as an actor, interpreting other people’s writing. He was perfectly cast in “Two and a Half Men,” and of course he has a long list of feature credits, from “Platoon” and “Wall Street” to “Major League.”But to command a stage in front of a large audience, you have to bring it. Whether you’re a storyteller, a trained actor doing theater, a singer who can give the audience chills or a stand-up who has spent the obligatory 10,000 hours honing 75 minutes of material, by the time you’re doing your thing in front of a crowd of thousands, you’re in command — or you’re toast.
It would have been an upset if Sheen hadn’t bombed in his debut in Detroit or if the revamped but still underwhelming in Chicago had killed. There’s no there there.
I would imagine none of the critics who, assigned by their editors, traipsed to a Sheen show were expected a brilliant, riveting, edge-of-your-seat 90-minute performance from the man. They shouldn’t have.
Reviewers should always judge a performance of a work of art on how well the performers or artists succeeded in what they were trying to do, not on what the review hoped or wanted them to do. Don’t slam the author of a spy thriller for not being Henry James or a metal band for not being too loud.
But a bad performance or a bad album or a bad book is a blessing for a reviewer, who gets to go to town. Pans write themselves. Reviews of excellent work are a little tougher, and review of mediocre work (which is most of what a critic reviews) make for the toughest writing of all.
This is how Sheen announced his tour:
My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option Show is coming for you. I'm going on the road. LIVE. Will there be surprises? Will there be guests? Will there be mayhem? Will you ask questions? Will you laugh? Will you scream? Will you know the truth? WILL THERE BE MORE?!?! This IS where you will hear the REAL story from the Warlock. Bring it. I dare you to keep up with me.
What he promised was a circus of egotism, and that, it appears from the writes-ups about his show, is what he delivered.
Lauren Beckham Falcone, writing in the Boston Herald, called Sheen’s Boston show “a pathetic little party, filled with drunken fans, sidekick sycophants and goddess wanna-bes.”
In the next sentence, she noted: “Surprisingly, it was packed.”
Maybe Sheen isn’t winning on this tour, but, despite the reviewers he’s doing OK.
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About the author
Mark Leccese, a journalism professor at Emerson College, covered Massachusetts politics, business and the arts for more than 25 years as a newspaper reporter, editor and magazine writer. He has More »Recent blog posts
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