Stereotyping By (Favorite) Music Festivals

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    Stereotyping By (Favorite) Music Festivals

    Just for fun, of course.   I haven't even heard of some of these festivals, and I still thought the bylines were clever.     See what you're missing.  :)    Check it out.  

    "In the music industry, summer means one thing: festivals. Lots of festivals. Gazillions of festivals. So many festivals, in fact, that the choice of which to attend is kinda overwhelming.

    Thankfully, "Flavorwire" is here to help! Well, sort of, anyway — we figured it was time to break out our patented Stereotyping Technique™ and apply it to the bewildering array of festivals on offer, giving a convenient roundup of the people to whom various events will appeal. As ever, this is all in fun."

     

    Warped Tour

    Angry kids with dyed black hair, multiple facial piercings, and a loving parent to pick them up after the show.

    Lollapalooza
    Gen Y types who still read Spin magazine online.

    Governors Ball
    New Yorkers who have purchased a pair of expensive Hunter boots in the last couple of days, which shall remain at the back of the wardrobe until this time next year, “just in case.”

    Northside
    New Yorkers who have not purchased such boots and, truth be told, are kinda sniggering at the people who did.

    Outside Lands
    Indecisive types who like to take a little of everything at the buffet.

    Telluride Bluegrass Festival
    Men who own banjos.

    Sasquatch
    Aesthetes who are very concerned about the view when choosing a hotel room.

    Mountain Jam
    “Conscious” types who guard their marijuana dispensary card with their lives.

    Laneway
    People from Australia who are very nervous about the possibility of getting shot.

    CMJ
    Hollow-eyed music journalists who have lost the ability to metabolize caffeine.

    Rock the Bells
    White people who enjoy hip hop.

    Made in America
    White people who like the idea of enjoying hip hop.

    Burning Man
    Burners. Obviously.

    Newport Folk Festival
    Kindly well-meaning boomers who get upset when they read about how their generation has comprehensively fucked the planet.

    Coachella
    Girls who just can’t see what the big deal is about wearing those Native American headdresses, anyway. They’re cute!

    Bumbershoot
    People who didn’t make it to Coachella.

    Bonnaroo
    Young men in shorts, with beards.

    Gathering of the Vibes
    Middle-aged men in shorts, with beards.

    Mountain Oasis
    Confused and slightly terrified Neutral Milk Hotel fans.

    Electric Forest
    ✧*:✧*: (✿◠‿◠) RAVERS (◠‿◠✿) :*✧:*✧

    Electric Daisy
    Bros who fancy themselves as ravers.

    Electric Zoo
    Bros who fancy themselves as ravers and clearly didn’t go to Governors Ball.

    Summerfest
    People who like the idea of making a pilgrimage to the spiritual home of PBR.

    Monterey Jazz Festival
    The same people who have been going for the last four decades.

    Mayhem
    Large, muscular men who make only cursory apologies for kicking you in the head when crowd-surfing.

    Austin City Limits
    Veteran Texans who stare blankly when you mention South by Southwest.

    Austin Psych Fest
    Veteran trippers who stare blankly when you mention… well, anything at all, really.

    Pitchfork
    Well, we’re not going to say that word. See? We didn’t say it.

    South by Southwest
    People who run marathons for fun.

    Gathering of the Juggalos
    Oh go on, guess.

     
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    Re: Stereotyping By (Favorite) Music Festivals

    Heh.

    I can testify to a few of these, certainly....

     

    And I had read a while back about ICP and the 'Juggalos' phenomenon which had me thinking deeply.  While they and their music (Yes, it's music.) may not be my own preference, it proves beyond even a reasonable doubt that like minds/souls will find a way to each other no matter the obstacles or attitudes in their way.

    For me, that's part of what these festivals have become: a place to gather for a few hours or days with other people who sorta kinda like the music you do, soak in the groupiness, and keep us from developing an irrational fear of crowds.

    Anyone can be a music fan, but it takes a little extra effort to seek it out live and even more effort to do so for days at a time.

     

     
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    Re: Stereotyping By (Favorite) Music Festivals

    In response to MattyScornD's comment:

    Heh.

    I can testify to a few of these, certainly....

     

    And I had read a while back about ICP and the 'Juggalos' phenomenon which had me thinking deeply.  While they and their music (Yes, it's music.) may not be my own preference, it proves beyond even a reasonable doubt that like minds/souls will find a way to each other no matter the obstacles or attitudes in their way.

    For me, that's part of what these festivals have become: a place to gather for a few hours or days with other people who sorta kinda like the music you do, soak in the groupiness, and keep us from developing an irrational fear of crowds.

    Anyone can be a music fan, but it takes a little extra effort to seek it out live and even more effort to do so for days at a time.

     

    Some of them really are pretty good; see Newport FF.   Look /see.  :)   Heh.  

    This works (in) well with the other thread re: getting out and being engaged.   Funny, but I read about a recent poll on the "why" of attending music festivals, and certainly the music was a big reason, but there were other predominant reasons that focused on the idea of *just* being there, as you have stated.   (There is a subset of people that go to do drugs, BTW)  Here's a quote from the poll article:

    "Overall, 47% of the 2,000 people polled admitted to having done something they would “never consider doing outside of the music festival environment” while at a festival.

    Other reasons for attending festivals cited by those quizzed included…socializing with friends, and the opportunity to escape from everyday life. "

    And another one that is right on the money:

    "Fast-forward to 2013, and sometimes it can seem like we are living in a pretty loveless time. It could just be my own interpretation, but the world has felt rather on-edge lately. As these high-stress, cynical times continue, events like Coachella or South by Southwest become more than a place to go get baked and sit around ogling the opposite sex with live music in the background.

    To me, at least, it seems like a major reason that so many people make it out to these festivals every year is that they want to be a part of something. There’s camaraderie—a kinship that goes along with attending a festival. I didn’t meet a single person at Coachella who wasn’t unbelievably polite and friendly. It was easy to turn to a random person while in one of the immense crowds and immediately strike up a conversation. There was an unspoken bond between all 150,000 of us. We were all just there, together.

    Some go only for the drugs. Some people only go for the beautiful people. Some go just so they can see their favorite bands. However, I feel like these are just small aspects of the grand experience. I think it doesn’t really matter what the lineup is, or if people have sufficient weed money; festivals like Coachella will be filled year after year who just want to participate in these legendary gatherings. Nowadays, kids can ask their grandparents in disbelief, “Wait, you were actually at Woodstock?” At least for me, I hope one day my kid can ask me, wonder in his eyes, “Wait, you were actually at Coachella?”

    - See more at: http://thebottomline.as.ucsb.edu/2013/04/recreating-the-legend-why-music-festivals-are-more-than-they-appear#sthash.wSMdGesl.dpuf

     

     
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    Re: Stereotyping By (Favorite) Music Festivals

    For me, there's only one music festival that matters:  Funtastic Dracula Carnival in Benidorm (Spain).  It's a Garage/Surf/Beat sort of thing which is what I like.  It's perfect:  in the best country in the world generally and for rock'n'roll specifically, has got the best looking guys, the best looking girls, the best weather, the best wine, the best food, it's cheap, everybody is up for "it", the venue is an alien spaceship with a pool embedded in it with, of course, a bar in the middle.  And when each night closes around 5-6-7 a.m. you get a taxi to the med to go skinny dipping with your mates.  Hard to beat, I say.

     

     

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