Re: Do I stay or go
posted at 11/19/2012 8:56 PM EST
In response to KayRox's comment:
In response to Roaddogg1959's comment:
When you feel your marriage is over - work to end it BEFORE reaching out to another so that your happiness card is fulfilled.
Being unhappy during marriage happens to everyone.....how you handle it is a measurement of your integrity. Deal with your issues and allow for the other person in the marriage partnership to reach out and chat with the freedom that separation and divorce can bring. To do anything other than that is completely selfish and cruel. Even if your wife suspects you are emotionally cheating (talking to another woman with the words that your wife would be hurt by is cheating) it doesn't mean she has accepted it.
I cringe at what your wife will be dealing with as you go off on your merry way with a relationship you've been building up while married. It is a disgrace. You could have separated or divorced first but it sounds like you didn't opt to do the right thing and became even more resentful in your marriage as you cajoled thoughts of being with someone else.
I agree with the sentiment about living your life as best you can so more power to you in getting your life together. I hope you have the integrity to make right by your wife and recognize that there is a lot of hurt there caused by your affair. That was a choice you made for yourself while letting your marriage rot away like it had zero value for anyone.
Just wishing you had taken a more respectful road to leaving your marriage.
To the letter writer: Please secure yourself with supportive friends and family while you show your husband the door (the sooner, the better). This is one intolerable marriage, not just for you but for your children. How do you expect that your children will treat women? Do your future daughter-in-law a favor and demand respect from your husband. The next time he lays a hand on you call the police. Then, explain to your children that their daddy has been an abusive husband and it is not acceptable.
Your self-esteem must be at an all-time low - leaving your marriage will be the first baby step to rebuilding. You must set a positive role model for women in your children's lives. Your husband doesn't deserve a family - he deserves to live in a zoo with other animals. I am hopeful that his physical abuse does not extend to the children and if it does then shame on you.
The time is NOW to clean up your household - to wait any longer is to enable his abusive personality and that makes you responsible.