S-E-X

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    S-E-X

    Foot in mouth Are we not allowed to talk about s-e-x life on the boards???

    I may be a little buzzed, please no one judge me!! FI and I had a 'date night' and I may have indulged in a little too many Blue Moons!!

    Is it true that after you are married your s-e-x life dwindles??

    Sorry if I am being inappropriate!! :/ But maybe I am worried? Oh man don't ban me from boards!!
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Ugh....woke up to get water and regret writing this and I can't erase it, so let's just pretend it never happened... :/

    So embarassed Embarassed
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    It depends on how healthy and close your relationship is in its totality.  I think oftentimes it dwindles simply because the closeness in general does first.  Routine, responsibility, blah, blah, blah, tends to undo every type of intimacy in a marriage.  The physical is a casualty, not a primary problem in and of itself.  But, NO, it doesn't have to be that way.  Stay close in every sense, and everything about your relationship (from the glow you have holding his hand out in the world to s-e-x) will reflect that closeness.  Staying in love takes effort.  Many people don't put it in...hence the stereotype about this subject in marriage.

    Don't worry about posting - it's a common concern.  If you want it deleted, though, you can contact BDC and ask them to take it down.  I was pretty embarrased about the waxing thread and almost did, but figured, nah, what the heck.

    Best to you - and hope you're feeling OK this morning, Liz. :)

    ~kar
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Haha Liz, Posting Under the Influence!  Wink

    I think Kar was right on with what she said (as usual!).  Just make sure that you still feel like you have a healthy, close relationship.  I don't think I know anyone that's married that has s-e-x as often as they did when they first started dating; that's totally normal.  I know my FI and I don't, but it isn't a problem for either of us.  For me, I feel the most intimate times are when we're relaxing on the couch in our PJ's and laughing together at something completely and utterly stupid on TV.  Any two people can have s-e-x, but not everybody can have that type of closeness and comfort with each other.

    That said, we still put an effort into every aspect of our relationship, including the s-e-x.  As long as you both make a conscious effort, you'll be fine.  :)
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Nothing like posting under the influence!  lol.

    What I find amusing is that you can't post the word s-e-x.  They used to ban the word boobs, but I guess now it's okay, in it's plural form.  BDC can be so crazy at times re what it bans.

    I have nothing to add re s-e-x after marriage, except to echo other posters.  If anyone has any ideas of what to slip into my DH's food to get him more interested in general, I'd be open to suggestions.  He was like this before we got married, though. I thought all guys wanted it all day, every day, not 1-2x per week.  Argh.  :-)
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]Nothing like posting under the influence!  lol. What I find amusing is that you can't post the word s-e-x.  They used to ban the word boobs, but I guess now it's okay, in it's plural form.  BDC can be so crazy at times re what it bans. I have nothing to add re s-e-x after marriage, except to echo other posters.  If anyone has any ideas of what to slip into my DH's food to get him more interested in general, I'd be open to suggestions.  He was like this before we got married, though. I thought all guys wanted it all day, every day, not 1-2x per week.  Argh.  :-)
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    Men's s*x drive varies man to man, truly, just as it does for women.  I think stereotypes do exist for a reason, and probably men think about it more than women generally speaking, but to expect all of them to be crazed about it all the time just sets us up to be disappointed and wonder what is wrong with us that he isn't as attracted as he "should" be if he doesn't fit the stereotype.  When it changes drastically is when it's a real problem (not to minimize your feelings, of course).  If he's the same now as always and it's regular I'd say he's totally attracted to you, but just doesn't have the stereotypical male s*x drive. It's not you, in other words, it's his natural chemistry.  If it drops to consistently being less than his "normal," find out what's wrong and see what can be done to fix it.  Otherwise, assume nothing is. :)
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Oh GOOD I was so afraid I was going to get lectured...

    Man, it is really sad how four beers make me hungover nowadays!


    I agree with Kar though. I feel as though men could be intimate 24/7, and woman need a break. I have been with my FI for 8 years now and not once have I felt he isn't attracted to me. And like Kmt said there are other ways to feel intimate other than s-e-x, which in my opinion is so my better. Anyway, I am glad I didn't step on any toes, and this is why I should never go on the computer after a few!

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from tibird. Show tibird's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    mmm... Blue Moon!  Now I know what I'll be drinking tonight - TGIF!! :)
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    No worries.  We have definitely had s-e-x discussions on here in the past :o)
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]If anyone has any ideas of what to slip into my DH's food to get him more interested in general, I'd be open to suggestions.  He was like this before we got married, though. I thought all guys wanted it all day, every day, not 1-2x per week.  Argh.  :-)
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    THIS is my FI.  He's never been the s-e-x crazed guy that you hear about.  He's fine with 1-2x per week as well.  Even when we first started dating, it may have only been about 3-4x.

    I'll never forget the night he said to me:  "I don't want to tonight...I have gas."  OMG.  LOL!!!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA kmt!!!!!!!OMG I just spit water out on my desk!!!! No JOKE!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    You can all have my FI...he is a 15 year old boy. He could have s-e-x 24/7. The second I come home he follows me around with his tongue hanging out...sometimes it's like "GET AWAY FROM ME!"
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Hahaha, I was laughing just typing it out!  I still crack up every time I think of that.  Even the way he said it was hilarious...like all serious and distraught about his gas problem.  He's a piece of work, let me tell ya!  LOL!
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Thanks ALF!  I am glad to find out my DH isn't the only one!  To be honest, we've been together for over 5 years and things dwindled a long time ago... but not in a bad way.  I did tell him shortly before the wedding that he has to always be honest about what he wants.  If it's not often enough, just tell me and we will work on it.  Hopefully that will work out :o)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    please don't be afraid of us. most of us don't bite ;-). i'm still trying to sort things out in this department. I seem to have lost any and all want and I know why (for the most part) but not what to do.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Well to be honest, it's ME who has lost the drive...I only want it like 1 or 2x a week, so I am jealous of you girls who want it more! Tell me your secrets! I feel like I am tired when we get into to bed, and in the morning I have to get in the shower by 6:45am to make it to work, and I value my sleep. I don't know I just feel like theres always an excuse Undecided
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from lucy7368. Show lucy7368's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE] I'll never forget the night he said to me:  "I don't want to tonight...I have gas."  OMG.  LOL!!!
    Posted by kmt09[/QUOTE]

    I think my favorite was the time my SO said, "I'm really not in the mood - can you just hold me?"  I said OK.

    About 45 seconds later, he looked at me and said, "I was just kidding."
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    LOL wait....ok what's SO...here I go with the lingo problem again...
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    ha ha...i'm lucky if it 1-2 times every few months.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]please don't be afraid of us. most of us don't bite ;-). i'm still trying to sort things out in this department. I seem to have lost any and all want and I know why (for the most part) but not what to do.
    Posted by NorthernLghts[/QUOTE]

    It's important to get it sorted out and not let it go.  It's damaging to a marriage no matter how much love is there.  If you have mental health benefits, I'd say utilize them and get what to do about it out there for you to work on asap.  Be encouraged; it's usually just like eveyrthing else, you aren't the only one with whatever issues going on, and there are proven solutions.  You just have to ask a knowledgeable person what they are.

    P.S.  You've been under a lot of stress with the house.  Maybe after you're all moved in you'll feel different.  But, keep an eye on your feelings; maybe keep a journal.  It will be helpful not only personally, but to a therapist if you decide to go that route.

    P.S.S.  This can easily become a source of resentment because s*x is a human need, and we all know that resentment is a deadly poison. Not to scare you, just hoping you (or anyone) won't underestimate the destructive nature of letting s*x go by the wayside and not doing anything concrete about it.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kmt09. Show kmt09's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]LOL wait....ok what's SO...here I go with the lingo problem again...
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    Significant Other.  :)
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from NorthernLghts. Show NorthernLghts's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]It's important to get it sorted out and not let it go.  It's damaging to a marriage no matter how much love is there.  If you have mental health benefits, I'd say utilize them and get what to do about it out there for you to work on asap.  Be encouraged; it's usually just like eveyrthing else, you aren't the only one with whatever issues going on, and there are proven solutions.  You just have to ask a knowledgeable person what they are.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    A large part of it is being on the Pill for as long as I have been. but i don't want to go off of it and risk pg and i'm not comfortable with any of the other forms female BC that are out there. I'll stop there before we get too TMI on the subject.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]A large part of it is being on the Pill for as long as I have been. but i don't want to go off of it and risk pg and i'm not comfortable with any of the other forms female BC that are out there. I'll stop there before we get too TMI on the subject.
    Posted by NorthernLghts[/QUOTE]

    Good news; it's probably not how long you've been on it, but the hormones in the particular one you are taking.  Different BC pills affect desire differently and affect different people differently depending on their body's chemistry.  Talk to your OBGYN!!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Sept2010Bride. Show Sept2010Bride's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    Northern....you're right though, the pill does suppress sex drive. It's not just you :-)
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: S-E-X

    [QUOTE]Northern....you're right though, the pill does suppress sex drive. It's not just you :-)
    Posted by Sept2010Bride[/QUOTE]

    Absolutely!  They're all different in that particular way just like every other way (skin issues, weight gain, moodiness, etc.).  You just have to bite the bullet and experiment with different pills to find one that works best with your chemistry.   Not sure, but I think some are more known for that particular side effect than others, and the OBGYN would know which ones would be good ones to try instead.

    Trying a different BC pill would be an easy fix!
     

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