posted at 10/26/2010 1:20 PM EDT
Not a helpful headline, I know, but it sums up what's in my head right now: something useless. I feel like my brain is missing.
I couldn't be happier or more excited, but I'm also close to being a mess. We have just over two weeks to go, and (as I mentioned briefly in the thread about make-up artists) my memory is gone, and I don't seem to be thinking clearly. The to-do list is a mile long, and I find something wondering how this happened. I really thought I was on top of things! Some people have said to me, "I hope you're not stressed!" Really??? Is that possible? I mean, it's good stress, but should I really be without stress? Yikes. (All that said, I have to admit part of me is enjoying the pressure and running. Am I sick?)
Am I the only one who seems to have lost it just as I need to be my most organized and resourceful? And is it typical to feel like there's more to do in the last couple weeks than any human can reasonably accomplish? (And to still think I can do it?)
Holy smokes. Not that it does me any good, but I'd love to hear that I'm not alone and haven't really dropped the ball.
posted at 10/26/2010 1:36 PM EDT
1.) Nevermind what people are saying. If you weren't stressed, people would be making comments like "Aren't you stressed? I would be stressed!" People never say the right thing.
2.) It's totally normal to be stressed, feel overwhelmed and disorganized.
My recommendation is that you get PLENTY of sleep. Take a Tylenol PM, do what you have to do to get your brain to relax at night.
Write out your to-do list, schedule time for each task. Figure out if any of the tasks can be done, or helped with, by other people, then delegate as necessary. If you think you'll forget to do something, use your cell phone or something to set reminders. And most importantly- schedule some time for you to relax, read a book, take a bath, or get a facial- or whatever it is that helps you unwind.
posted at 10/26/2010 1:36 PM EDT
I did find that I was more forgetful and had to rely more on lists than my memory those last couple of weeks. In fact, I left my veil at home on our wedding day, and DH risked his very life racing back to the house, grabbing it, and racing back to the church. He made it on time, but I'm sure he broke the law to do it...big time.
Write everything down as you think of it and carry your list and a pen around with you so you don't feel the need to remember stuff.
posted at 10/26/2010 1:36 PM EDT
Sit down, take a deep breath and a stiff drink. Write out a list of what you think needs to be done and go over it with FI to determine priorities. Delegate - what can he do? What can you do? What can your bridesmaids do? What can parents do? Have others offered to help, if so, take them up on it.
Just remember - it is only one day of your life and it aint going to be perfect, the marriage afterwards is what matters most.
posted at 10/26/2010 1:47 PM EDT
In Response to Re: Whoa
[QUOTE]I did find that I was more forgetful and had to rely more on lists than my memory those last couple of weeks. In fact, I left my veil at home on our wedding day, and DH risked his very life racing back to the house, grabbing it, and racing back to the church. He made it on time, but I'm sure he broke the law to do it...big time. Write everything down as you think of it and carry your list and a pen around with you so you don't feel the need to remember stuff.
Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
Oh yeah, the checklist of stuff you need to have with you before you leave the house is so important!
Luckily we lived not too far from our venue, so DH could rush home and get the attendent gifts we forgot!
posted at 10/26/2010 3:56 PM EDT
Definately make lists, I couldn't remember anything the few weeks before the wedding. And let people help, my mother and her friend were godsends, taking as much off my plate as they could. I found my control freak nature was beaten by my general sense of being overwhelmed. And I started making lists and actually packing for the wedding about a week ahead of time so that as I would see things I forgot I could put them in the "to go" pile. Good luck!
posted at 10/26/2010 4:18 PM EDT
It gets better. It really does.
Any time anyone asked me or my (now) DH what we needed in the weeks leading up to the wedding, our answer was always, "Wine!"
I started out thinking that there were too many things that only DH or I could do but that's not true. Could my cousin come over and help tie ribbons on favors? Absolutely! There are so many people who want to help, USE THEM! It's okay that you've left things until now. I found that I couldn't really do things until I had a head count and that didn't come until late in the process.
These weeks are crazy, but so worth it. It will all come together. I practically skipped out of the reception hall the day I dropped off all the favors, etc.
posted at 10/26/2010 4:23 PM EDT
After you make your to-do list, cross off the last three things. No one will notice the monogrammed programs (or whatever's at the bottom of your list), so give yourself a break on a few things.
Unless the building is on fire the day of, you won't even notice if anything goes "wrong." It'll fly by and you'll be psyched for every minute of it!
posted at 10/26/2010 5:08 PM EDT
Thank you all so much. Excellent ideas! I am a control freak, I'll admit it, but I have reached out for some help the past couple days and am giving FI some tasks and asking for his input as we brainstorm the few remaining creative details. Started putting everything going with us that weekend in one room last night, too. Even though it's not hard to gather the stuff, the physical act of moving it and knowing it's set is comforting.
I am going to make one heck of a master list tonight. It's going to be okay, for sure. As I've said to other people, being married at the end of the day is most important. (For that, though, we do need to finish writing our ceremony... haha) Beyond that, only I will know what didn't come to fruition, and I bet even I won't give a hoot. Plus, the more I think about it, the more I know I can do over the next week or so. (I want more time, so I'm freaking, but it really is fun. I'll miss it!)
Thanks again for the pep talk. More to come from me, no doubt! Meanwhile, defintely going for the Tylenol PM tonight, PK. Haven't slept well in days, and everyone knows how good that is for anxiety.
posted at 10/26/2010 5:20 PM EDT
If you also tend to get "sick headaches," the tension headaches that make you nauseaous, Dramamine (instead of a "pm") works double duty helping you sleep and knocking out the other symptoms (which can mimic motion sickness).
If you know things aren't so important, pair that with your knowledge that other people can help. If they aren't done exactly the way you'd do them, so what? They'll be done and crossed off the list and will be done well because the people doing them will be careful - they want everything they contribute to be perfect, too.
Being a control freak is all well and good when you have a manageable amount to do all by yourself. Otherwise, you just shoot yourself in the foot because you have too much to do to do it all as perfectly as you want, anyway. So, logically speaking, you have a much better chance of getting everything done perfectly if you delegate.
posted at 10/29/2010 5:17 PM EDT
Hi, Rihlo! I think that the 2-weeks-to-go milestone was the only time I kind of freaked out.
I agree with all the suggestions from the other girls - a little notepad and pen was my best friend!
Also, even though you're a control freak (aren't we all), don't forget that you chose all your vendors with great care, and they are all professionals. Relax and let them do their jobs....they won't let you down (or they wouldn't stay in business very long, would they?)!!
Watch an episode of Bridezillas to see what "freaking out" really looks like. I'm sure you're not even close!
Have fun.......I'd love to be in your shoes and do it all over again!!
posted at 10/31/2010 4:08 PM EDT
Yes, the little notepad! And thanks for saying we're all control freaks, Cos. You make me feel human again. :) I am all about leaving the big stuff for the vendors. Making real headway on table numbers and hiring one last vendor (I know, I know) today, though Yahoo!