Making the dreaded phone calls...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Making the dreaded phone calls...

    Frustrating but expected. Our responses are due back the 31st, and we're waiting to hear from 36 guests. The wedding is 10/1, and the numbers need to be in a week prior. I would like to call at the end of next week/end, but my FI and family are saying to wait because there's still so much time. With the month of September looking busy with work and general life, I'd like to get the seating chart/placecards done as soon as I can. Am I crazy to make phone calls so early?
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    kinga, I understand your drive to get it out of the way, but you have plenty of time, and I bet a lot of uncomfortable conversations (and it does stink) if you wait until they are suggesting.  The seating chart took us a couple of hours.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    Perhaps second week in Sept is ok to call? Working 12+ hours a day and being away every weekend until the wedding is making me nervous about time constraints, hence my need to be OCD about the responses, along with all the other details. I just find it so incredibly rude.

    I've thrown many showers for friends, and have had to make phone calls to see if guests are coming, and most of the time they make me feel like I'm being the rude one calling them weeks after the responses are due to see if they're coming. Any tips for avoiding this for the phone calls for the wedding? The Italian in me would really like to point out their lack of responsibility and disrespect to the ones throwing the party.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    For reasons unknown, some people think you are supposed to mail the response on the reply date, like it's a mortgage payment, so I wouldn't call before Labor Day. Are some of the delinquent responses folks that you can email? That might be easier.

    Also, it's not always lack of responsibility or disrespect. Scout's honor, I had a wedding invitation get lost in the mail last year. It arrived in my mailbox the day after I got an email from the bride gently reminding people to reply. I knew (and they knew) we were attending and we had already made all of the travel arrangements. My only theory is that the invite was an odd shape and texture, so it might have gotten mis-sorted. I was mortified, but it happens. The postal service isn't perfect.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    Interesting, I would never have thought of that, but I won't rule it out now that you mention it.

    I will say, to the guests' defense, that our invitation "packet" consisted of the actual invitation, a response card and the response envelope. No envelope within an envelope within an envelope with tissue paper inbetween, so it's not the typical bulky invitation. You're right, I take back what I said...not fair of me to assume.

    I'll go the mass email route first doing the gentle reminder...and I'll do after Labor Day. Ok...I feel better now...thanks!
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from simon08. Show simon08's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    you sound exactly like I did!  my wedding was 10/9/2011 and I asked that rsvp's be back by 9/1 and I was chasing people right up until the week I had to have the count in, mainly believe it or not relatives, who just assumed I would know they would be there! 

    there were still a couple of rsvp's that did not come back but the venue usually allows for x amount of people to show up

    I am sure you have heard this but it really does all fall into place and the venue's do this so much and should know how to handle it - good luck!!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    In Response to Making the dreaded phone calls...:
    [QUOTE]Frustrating but expected. Our responses are due back the 31st, and we're waiting to hear from 36 guests. The wedding is 10/1, and the numbers need to be in a week prior. I would like to call at the end of next week/end, but my FI and family are saying to wait because there's still so much time. With the month of September looking busy with work and general life, I'd like to get the seating chart/placecards done as soon as I can. Am I crazy to make phone calls so early?
    Posted by kinga9[/QUOTE]

    yes, you are being a bit unreasonable.  I would wait to make the phone calls until the weekend of the 9th. You can make cards for all of the other guests in advance and organize the bulk of your tables.  You will then have over 2 weeks to make the other ones and arrange the remainder of the tables. 

    I made the seating chart in advance for all major players.  Friends and distant relatives are easy to seat and/or intersperse in relative tables.  The late ones usually fall into some kind of category [distant relatives or not close friends] so they should be easy to seat later on.

    don't mention they are late when you do call. Just be direct and state taht you haven't gotten their response yet, but you need to know yes or know whether htey are coming b/c the caterer needs the information.  Just tell them you need hte response then - don't give them wiggle room to take a few days to make up their minds. It's not that hard - yes or no.  If they say 'they don't know' just tell them, that's too bad but you need a head count for the caterer today; you'll miss them at the reception but understand. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    I agree, if they can't say yes or no after having had the invitation sitting on the counter for 6 months, that's a "no."
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from koala. Show koala's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    Is there anyone who can help you make these calls like a family member or a member of your wedding party?  It can feel rude as the bride to have to make these calls, but someone else may be able to be more neutral and straightforward.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    I'm trying my best to not be unreasonable...I think being the sole planner for a tented reception is proving harder on me than I initially figured. Who knew?

    Koala, I like your idea of delegating...I'm looking into it!
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    In Response to Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...:
    [QUOTE]Is there anyone who can help you make these calls like a family member or a member of your wedding party?  It can feel rude as the bride to have to make these calls, but someone else may be able to be more neutral and straightforward.
    Posted by koala[/QUOTE]

    THIS!

    If I put the person on the guest list, I called.
    If DH put the person on the guest list, he called.
    If my mom, dad, MIL, etc. put the person on the guest list, they called.

    This avoided a lot of awkward "Hi. I know we've never met but I'm going to be marrying your nephew and need to know if you'll be coming to the wedding." and such.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    I agree, Pink, delegating is more awkward for the poor person chosen to do the task and the people being called than it would be for the bride or groom (whoever is closer to the person who hasn't sent in the rsvp).  It stinks, but it's not that bad.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kinga9. Show kinga9's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    I should have clarified...delegating to the appropriate parties is what I meant when I said I planned on looking into it. I agree whoever did the inviting (as in who put who on the guest list) should do the calling, if calling is the route chosen. There will be, unfortunately, family members from my FI's side that I have never met, which would be awkward. Since none of my or my FI's friends are among the missing, we make out pretty easy...
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    Well, it's awkward, but not the worst moment ever.  Honestly, you're just asking if they can come to the party and finding out what they want to eat.  It doesn't have to be a big deal.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...

    In Response to Re: Making the dreaded phone calls...:
    [QUOTE]Well, it's awkward, but not the worst moment ever.  Honestly, you're just asking if they can come to the party and finding out what they want to eat.  It doesn't have to be a big deal.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    right, but it's a strange first impression to make. And I know I don't answer my phone if I don't recognize the number. I let it go to voicemail.

    It's not the end of the world if you do have to make the calls, you gotta do what you gotta do, but I'm all for delegating whenever possible when it comes to wedding planning. The bride and groom usually are busy busy busy, so anything that can come off their plate is a good thing.
     

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