missing gift...

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Epigal. Show Epigal's posts

    missing gift...

    I don't know what to do in this sticky situation, and could use some advice. Yesterday, I got an email from a good friend of mine double checking that we had got their gift card at our wedding, since they knew we had sent out thank you notes, and they hadn't got one. As far as I know, we did not get their gift. We were very careful to keep track of all the envelopes at the wedding, although of course it's possible that something got misplaced. We scoured our house looking for it, and checked the names on every gift card. Long story short, I have no record of having received their gift. It's not on any gift list, it's not in any drawers, and we haven't used any gift cards yet. How do I respond to my friend? We're not missing any other gifts, so I don't think anyone stole it (although we did have a couple wedding crashers who were promptly kicked out).

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I would tell them. If they kept the receipt, they can most likely go back to the store and have it cancelled/reissued.

    It's also possible that it's still sitting in his suitcoat pocket or the visor of their car. If it were me, I'd want to know so I could double-check my own things to make sure I didn't misplace it.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Absolutely, tell them - it's not a "sticky situation," it's just a situation.  They asked, you tell them the truth, it gets sorted out.  Sure, it's unpleasant to deal with, but these things happen.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Personally, I would not tell them that you misplaced it.  Most people would feel compelled to go out and get you a replacement gift.  I would just tell her you are so sorry that you misplaced her TY note, write her a TY note and call it a day. 

    I doubt anyone stole it. You likely misplaced it. It may turn up. If not, just be glad you only misplaced 1 envelope.  GL.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I assumed it contained a check.  If you don't have it, and you tell them, they can stop it and write another check.  It will cost $15 to stop a check, but I think most gift givers would like to pay that and get the original gift to the couple.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from Shell7. Show Shell7's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    She did have enough courage to ask about not receiving a thank you card.. tell her the truth.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from cosmogirl. Show cosmogirl's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I agree that you should just tell her the truth....it's not a sticky situation, it's just a blip. 

    If the situation was reversed, wouldn't you as the gift-giver want to know?  I would.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from 2ada63d622e89774a9fdcbc90527ab8e. Show 2ada63d622e89774a9fdcbc90527ab8e's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Absolutely tell them that you are sorry but you don't have it and don't know what happened to it. They probably have a receipt. Also, it would be interesting to know to whom they handed it or where they left it. If they handed it to a member of the wedding party it could still be in someone's pocket or pocketbook and they've forgotten about it.
    There's no shame or embarrassment here. These things happen.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rapunzel41. Show Rapunzel41's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Definitely tell them.

    We aren't sure yet whether we're "missing" any gifts, but there are three guests that - according to my spreadsheet - didn't give us anything at the wedding.  (Well, there were more than three, but some of them we weren't expecting anything from!)  These three guests are my uncle/godfather, my cousin (his daughter), and one of my closest male friends (who specifically asked my mother where we were registered.  I gave my mom a heads up in case any of them ask her about us receiving their gifts...  And my dad swears he saw my uncle AND my cousin at the card basked.  We're giving it a couple of months, then my mom will ask my uncle about it.  It's most definitely not like them to give a heartfelt card, and he is my godfather - both of my parents are POSITIVE that he would have given a gift.  I also know he'd be so upset if we didn't say anything to him.

    So, bottom line, tell your guest.  They asked - so give them the courtesty of an honest answer.  :-)

    ETA: 
    I meant to say it's not like them to not give AT LEAST a heartfelt card.  I'm not looking for gifts - I was just surprised they didn't give a card.  :-)
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Epigal. Show Epigal's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Thanks everyone. Green - I like the idea of asking who they gave it to. It's a good way to start.

    It was a gift card, not a check, so if it did get lost, I don't think there's any way to get their money back.


     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Gift cards can be replaced.  A friend gave me a gift card for a baby shower along with some onesies.  When she got the TY note for the onesies she emailed me to ask if I had received the gift card too.  I looked everywhere and told her that I didn't have it.  She had the recepit and went to the store and got another one.
    Just tell the truth.  Your friend asked - she deserves a straight answer.
    Good luck
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    And, I replaced two Omaha Steak gift cards for recipients who left them at the rehearsal dinner.  If they hadn't called me when they realized they were gone that would have been $500 down the drain.  Bummer.  Sure, they were embarrassed, but we got it all taken care of, and they got the gifts we paid for.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    having worked in retail, I can tell you that gift cards are easily replaced as long as they still have the receipt. tell them the truth.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    You all seriously save your receipts for GC?  If I'm not giving a physical gift [and tucking the receipt in the box] I throw the receipt away as soon as I get home.  I don't know of anyone who keeps them.

    If it were a check, I could see telling her that you can't find it b/c she can cancel the check and write a new one.  If someone told me that they never received my GC from Crate and Barrel for their wedding gift, I'd run out and spend another $x on a replacement card, thereby spending 2x what I had intended for their gift.  Which is why I suggested that the OP just say she neglected to write the TY, but not tell the giver that she never got the gift. 
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from RedFishBlueFish. Show RedFishBlueFish's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    There is a treasure trove of receipts that live in the bottom of my purse and wallet for months. If I were the giver, there is at least a 50/50 chance that it's there.

    I wouldn't spend money on a replacement gift either, though. If I did everything I was supposed to do and it got lost anyway, I'd be sad, but it wouldn't be my loss anymore.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Alf,
    I save all my receipts for gifts - whether is it a GC or a physical gift. Many store will ask if you need a gift receipt - and give you a receipt w/o any amount written on it. I will enclose that one with a physical gift, but keep the original. For GC's I just keep the original receipt. I write on the back of the receipt, who the receiver was.
    Every so often, I go through them and discard any that is 4 - 5 months old. Receipt for gifts, that still have a guaranty, I keep "forever". It has happened, I had to dig out an old one.- Pingo
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I stick the receipt in the sleeve that GC comes in.  That way the recipient knows how much the gift is for.  Everyone in my family does this too. I guess we are all weird.....
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I save all my receipts 30-60 days, if it's a receipt for a gift I might keep it longer in case it turns out to be defective. For GCs I keep the receipt, but write on the GC how much it's for.
    But, I worked in retail. I keep all that stuff because I know it makes it easier if I need to return or anything.
    Whenever I used to answer calls about GCs and I'd say about 75% our customers kept the receipts. That's not exactly a scientific study, but it's always made me think chances are good that people keep the receipt.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from 2ada63d622e89774a9fdcbc90527ab8e. Show 2ada63d622e89774a9fdcbc90527ab8e's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    IMO a lot of people keep their receipts, usually to justify against the credit card bills. I think we have receipts back to the Nixon administration.

    In any case, even if the gift can't be recovered, a conversation will allow you to get on a good footing about the gift and thank them for their intentions.

    At least you won't have dropped and broken a wedding gift in front of the giver, as my husband did back in the day. Not our finest hour ;-)
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Oh, GMV, what a moment!  I can just imagine it happening in slow motion, "Nooooooooooooooo!"SMASH 

    I thought most people kept receipts, too.  Credit cards, returns, etc.  Maybe ALF's family has been super lucky with regard to having problems that would require a receipt to fix.  That's how I started saving them, anyway.


     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    We only save receipts for big purchases [TVs, exercise equipment] and for things that have warranties.  Then, it gets stapled to the warranty/instruction booklet and put in a binder [yes, I am that anal].  If I'm giving something as a gift [ie, a physical item that could be returned], I'll save the receipt for a few weeks after I give the gift, but give the recipient a gift receipt. If I hear nothing after a few weeks, I'll toss the receipt w/ the financial info listed on it. 

    I have never heard of getting a gift receipt for a gift card.  It seems kind of pointless.  The recipient needs to know how much is on the card, so why would you give them a gift receipt w/ it?  That's why I stick the receipt in the sleeve w/ the GC [so they know how much the gift is for] and don't keep it myself.   
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from pinkkittie27. Show pinkkittie27's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I agree with GMV, you'll never know if they kept the receipt unless you tell them the truth. If they kept the receipt, then it can all be easily resolved. If not, apologize for the misplacement and tell them you'll send a TYN because it's the thought that counts.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from pingo. Show pingo's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    Alf,
    giving a gift receipt for a CC is kind of silly - agree!
    I have never encountered a return of a CC, but I do keep the receipts. But then again, I am not one to give CCs  in general. I absolutely hate to get them and I only resort to buy them, if I am completely lost for ideas. So impersonal. I will always try to find something else. A couple of bottles of wine, would be what I resort to.
    There is always a place on the CC, you can write down the amount. I just hate CCs in general.
    - Pingo
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rirlo01. Show Rirlo01's posts

    Re: missing gift...

    I'm a little late to the party, but for what it's worth, I'm with the folks who say she asked, so you owe her a straight answer.  I feel for you, because I know I'd be uncomfortable, too; but it'd be more awkward to say you received it and have her find it in her purse or at home.  You can assure her it'll turn up to discourage her from replacing it if she says or implies she'll do so; and you can still thank her for the generous gesture and attending the wedding, etc.  (You know what I mean?  After you tell her you don't recall receiving it, you can make it about the relationship, not the gift.)

    And if it does eventually show, you just let her know and thank her profusely.  If she replaces it in the meantime, you can be especially grateful and appreciative; and you'll certainly return one gift to her if you end up with two.  Good luck!  
     

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