Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    Breastfeeding 2 years and up is normal, unusual in our society, but it is normal.

    However, I would find it disturbing if a child came running off the play ground looking for a drink and pulled mom's shirt up.  I purposely stopped nursing (and bottles, too) with DD1 before DD could ask for it in part to avoid requests for breasts or bubbas.  By 2, nursing isn't as much about nutrition as it is about comfort which it's perfect for.

    There OP needs to remove herself from the situation when it occurs, tell the mom you'll give her some privacy. If the mom says you don't have to bother you could let her know it makes you uncomfortable otherwise just move on.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    I guess we must be overdue for a good, heated breast-feeding debate, since normally a first-time poster wading into a historically-contentious topic where there's no right answer would be greeted with pointed fingers and howls of, "TROOOOOOLL!"  I'm sure there's a chance that this OP has a legitimate question and needs anonymous web-based counsel, but this smells a lot like a drive-by posting. 

    That being said: game on, ladies.  It's a rainy day and this thread has legs.

     

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from SarahInActon. Show SarahInActon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    Did anyone see Game of Thrones?  When that eight year old kid demanded that his mom whip it out so he could eat.  Awesome!

    Personally, that two year old should be taught to ask first.  My two year old busts (pun intended) into the fridge whenever he feels like it and I'd like him to ask first.  Other than that, breastfeeding at two may be unusuall but its not abnormal.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from thistleflower. Show thistleflower's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    I agree with lemonmelon.  I think women should be encouraged to breastfeed when and where they need to, not shamed about it.  I plan to breastfeed in public when I think it's appropriate for me/the baby.

    As for the situation in the opening post, even if what disturbed the poster was the fact that the little girl was taking her mom's shirt off to feed herself, I have a hard time seeing how that's her business.  I personally would not want my kid doing that to me, but that's why if I'm still breastfeeding when the baby is old enough for this to become an issue, I will teach her not to do it.  If it works for this family, who cares? 
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]Sorry.  I think it is fine to not agree with OP and to be horrified that she does not willingly accept her friend who is breastfeeding her 2 year old.  That is anyone's right.  As it is hers to not understand why someone would breastfeed at age 2.  I was responding more to the socioeconomic comment more than anything.  Perhaps I am just sensitive.   I have people in my life that have no idea what goes on in the lives of the majority of the population.  I am in a special situation where I realize that things may not always be as it seems and bashing the poster about not being in a particular socioecomic class was a little much for me. 
    Posted by luckinlife[/QUOTE]

    I wasn't bashing her for not being in my area/socioeconomic class. I was bashing her for being a judgemental meany. What I meant by bringing up my area/socioeconomic class was simply the fact that an urban northeastern woman with my level of education/income is more likely to breastfeed past 1 year. If you go to my ped's practice, most of the toddlers are still nursing. It's normal around here, and she would be the one who was unusual in her beliefs. So what she thinks is "normal" isn't necessarily "normal" all over. Believe me, I'm no classist.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    GC - I have a suspicion that the OP is a "regular" who actually has posted a couple of responses here... the writing style is similar.  If I'm right (and I may not be) she probably wanted to post anonymously, knowing what the post might stir up.

    I agree with Lemon that the more women breastfeed in public, the more comfortable society in general might become with it, which I personally think would be wonderful.  But the fact that the OP is so extremely embarassed and used the word "disgusting" makes me think she has some very ingrained beliefs, probably taught to her in her childhood, that nudity is wrong and gross.  To me, this just reflects that there are people who feel this way, and their increased exposure to public breastfeeding is probably not going to change that ingrained belief.  I think Lemon's post about how to deal with chidren's questions about public breastfeeding illustrates what would be a big step in creating adults who do not find this disgusting.  But we need adults to teach the kids, and therein lies a bit of the viscious circle.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    The OP's friend should just move to DC or Maine.  Women actually have the right to go topless in public if they so choose.  I personally have never seen any woman wander down the street topless on a hot day in DC [and believe me, they are HOT! - the days not the women], but apparently they have the right to do so if the mood strikes them. Regardless of whether they are breastfeeding or not.  

    There are a few other states and cities that allow women to go topless. There was some article on either MSN or Slate recently regarding it. 

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    I've been meaning to visit D.C.  Let the girls get some fresh air.  
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    I'm all for breastfeeding - wish I had been able to do it.  But I'm also in favor of a little modesty.  Once your child is old enough to unbutton your shirt, perhaps it's time to express into a bottle (or sippy cup) instead.
    Really - lots of things are "totally natural" and we don't do them in public.  And I realize that feeding your child is totally different from say, using the bathroom, but breastmilk is no longer the major source of food for a two year old so it's not like she can't go without until Mom and daughter can find someplace more private.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]I realize that feeding your child is totally different from say, using the bathroom, but breastmilk is no longer the major source of food for a two year old so it's not like she can't go without until Mom and daughter can find someplace more private.
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    She doesn't have to -- public breastfeeding is legally protected in Massachusetts. Public urination is not.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]I've been meaning to visit D.C.  Let the girls get some fresh air.  
    Posted by GC1016[/QUOTE]
    HA!

    In seriousness: I think we have discomfort with things because of the way we've been brought up.  BUT: if we support those things in principle, then we have to put the discomfort aside in order to stick to the principles.
    So: I don't think you can say, "I believe it's okay to breastfeed in public... but you should use a shawl."  Or "... but you should find a corner."  If it's okay to breastfeed in public, then it's okay to breastfeed in public.
    It's okay to acknowledge that you have some discomfort.  That's a result of how you grew up!  But it's not okay to say that people "should" change their behavior.

    Not to make a contentious discussion even more contentious, but this sort of conditional approval of public breastfeeding reminds me of when people say things like, "I don't have a problem with gay people ... but I don't want them to show affection in public."  If it's okay to be gay, then it's okay to be gay everywhere.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    Poppy -- for real? 

    Huh.  That opens up a whole new avenue of internet fun.  I may create a second profile for myself and sign on to praise my own posts and tell myself I'm really funny. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    I never nursed in public (mostly lack of need to but also because I wasn't super comfortable with it) but I did nurse in front of family.  At Thanksgiving this year, my 7 y/o nephew was facinated by my DS and DD. 
    I had a conversation with him with him along these lines.
    "What are you doing?"
    "Feeding the baby."

    It was painless.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]I had a conversation with him with him along these lines. "What are you doing?" "Feeding the baby." It was painless.
    Posted by dz76[/QUOTE]

    I once had a similar conversation with a 5 year old daughter of my cousin's boyfriend (if you can follow that).  Everyone else was in the dining room, and I was in the living room feeding DD (because it was more comfortable there - not because I was banished from the dining room) and the girl was in there watching tv.  She was shyly fascinated by what I was doing.

    "What are you doing?"
    "Feeding the baby."
    "But... where's the bottle?"
    (at which point I wasn't quite sure how to phrase my answer, so I just said:)
    "She doesn't eat from a bottle.  She eats from... me."
    "Oh."  (pause)  "But, where's the bottle?"
    We went back and forth like this a couple of times.

    It was a bit difficult to know exactly how much to say, since I had just met this girl an hour beforehand, and had only met her dad once.  I just repeated myself and she looked at me curiously, then went back to her barbie mansion that my aunt had bought for her.  I'm a teacher by training, and I wanted this to be a teachable moment for her, but I also didn't know exactly how to say more... should I have said, "She eats from my breasts''?  "... my body"??  Thoughts?
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    It would have been really weird to have the conversation with kid who was practically a stranger.

    I may have said "She eats milk I make".  I'm really not sure what else, maybe "The milk comes out of my breasts." , which just sounds weird out of context. LOL
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    Poppy, I think since the conversation arose naturally and she was truly curious I'd have kept it short but factual.  Something like, "When women have babies their breasts make food for the baby, and the baby doesn't need to use a bottle to get it."  It was the bottle being "missing" that was her stumbling point so that's all she probably would have needed to hear to be satisfied.

    ETA:  I don't think kids have the "this is too deep a conversation to have with someone I just met" concept.  They go up to complete strangers and ask whatever strikes them.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from ERPT. Show ERPT's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    Breastfeeding is normal, natural, should be done in public. 
    I was never comfortable doing it in public, but did on occasion when I had no choice.  I stopped breastfeeding my son at 8 months.  Apparently in different cultures and in different countries extended breastfeeding is very 'normal'.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    I use the correct words for things. It felt weird at first but in the long run it just makes life easier.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal?? : She doesn't have to -- public breastfeeding is legally protected in Massachusetts. Public urination is not.
    Posted by lemonmelon[/QUOTE]
    I fully realize she doesn't have to - that's why the OP posed the question.  Just because it's legal doesn't mean that everyone is automatically going to be comfortable with it.  The reason they actually had to write a law is that many, many people are uncomfortable with public nursing. Nursing mothers needed the protection.  It doesn't mean they can't be sensitive to other's discomfort as well, does it? I'm sure the OP doesn't want to stop her son from seeing his friend because of this.  And I think she got some good advice from some early posters - If you're uncomfortable - offer the nursing mom some privacy - if she declines - give it to her anyway.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]The reason they actually had to write a law is that many, many people are uncomfortable with public nursing. Nursing mothers needed the protection.  It doesn't mean they can't be sensitive to other's discomfort as well, does it?
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    If a nursing mom wants to cover up, that's her perogative. But no, she shouldn't have to cover up or hide somewhere because someone else -- even "many, many other people" -- has a problem with her nursing. It's the other person's problem and that person can put a blanket over his or her own head if he or she feels simultaneously offended and unable to look away.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]GC - I have a suspicion that the OP is a "regular" who actually has posted a couple of responses here... the writing style is similar.  If I'm right (and I may not be) she probably wanted to post anonymously, knowing what the post might stir up.
    Posted by poppy609[/QUOTE]
    totally unfair to dangle that in front of me, sleuthy mcsleutherson
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]Poppy -- for real?  Huh.  That opens up a whole new avenue of internet fun.  I may create a second profile for myself and sign on to praise my own posts and tell myself I'm really funny. 
    Posted by GC1016[/QUOTE]
    We're totally funny!

    ERm... I mean... YOU are. You, GC. Totally funny. We're not the same person. Seriously, we're not.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from hughkona. Show hughkona's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    Normal? No.  That's just our society.

    OK? Yup.  Every mom can do what she wants as far as raising her child.  I think we should be happy if the the most uncomfortable thing we witness a mother doing to her child is offering breastmilk past the typical age.  I would be uncomfortable and embarassed about another mother verbally or physically abusing her child too (which happens in public from time to time). 

    I don't think you have a right to say anything to this mother unless it is a close friend of yours.  If she is, you could mention in a casual way that the way the child is ripping off her clothes in public is a little disconcerning, NOT that fact that she is offering breastfeeding to soothe her toddler.

    My 2 cents.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from mommywats. Show mommywats's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    That's exactly what I meant about it being "disgusting" is that she will grab her moms shirt and pull it down from the top and start nudging her way in.  Then has a melt down if she can't get to it right away in 2 seconds. 


    We belong to a country club where everyone is sitting around hanging out and many children stop and look at the same child that is slugging down hot dogs and juice. I have nothing against nursing, like I said.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??

    In Response to Re: Is Breastfeeding 2 years and up normal??:
    [QUOTE]Did anyone see Game of Thrones?  When that eight year old kid demanded that his mom whip it out so he could eat.  Awesome!
    Posted by SarahInActon[/QUOTE]
    I haven't seen it but I just finished reading the first book.  That happens in the book!  Is the series worth watching?  The books are pretty entertaining. 
     

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