February - Infants and Toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Quad - I feel for you. If I remember correctly my twins were still on 3 naps a day at 6 months. I ended up using Weissbluth to help me with their schedule.  He has "ceilings" for how long a baby should stay awake during the day.  So cat nappers need an extra nap - once the naps start to lengthen you can go to two.
    I'm sure the move has disrupted him. When my twins were 18 months old we had to go to Canada for a few months.  Between the driving and staying in hotels to get there, and being in a new place, I ended up having to sleep in with them for a while.  Usually I just pretended to sleep until they fell asleep - and then they were good for the night. But your LO is much younger - he may just need you in the middle of the night for a while. I'm sure it's a phase that will pass.
    Perhaps you and your DH can create a schedule until he settles in? I'd suggest you going to bed at 8:00 and he takes over until midnight. Then you're back on duty if he wakes - you'll have had a decent chunk of sleep to help you get through.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    RE: Complimenting looks vs. intellect, funny story. About 9 years ago when I was meeting DH's friends' son for the first time he says to me, "I'm not sure if you're aware, but I'm very smart."  He was only about 4 or 5 at the time, but I was so taken aback!  So I decided I'd never want to give my kids swelled heads like that.  But cut to now, we tend towards complimenting them in every way - "You're so cute!"  or "you're so clever!"  So much for not giving them swelled heads.  LOL.

    Jenn - I can't help with the bottle dilema - my kiddos are so easy going and we use the medela bottles with slow flow nipples.  But I wanted to wish you good luck finding a bottle DD likes!

    Medford: I'm sure your family members and the strangers don't mean anything bad by what they do or say, they are probably just trying to make light of the situation.  I never had that experience, but I do know how frustrating these delays can be.  My DD didn't walk until 16 months.  But then, one day, she just did it.  So maybe she was a lazy baby.  Kidding!!!

    Quad: Good luck on the sleep thing.  Is DS full on crying or just whimpering and making noises?  My DS started sleeping through about 2 weeks ago, but some nights he gets up at around 4am.  I only go in to feed him if he's full on crying.  I don't want to go backwards!  Otherwise I just let him fall back asleep on his own.  Could it be gas from solids?  At least one of these nights I could hear him farting on the monitor too!  My DS has been extra gassy since starting solids.  

    AFM, Things are going well in the Trouble household!  

    DD is 21 months now and has been saying her first few simple sentances.  He first was, "I like it."  So exciting!  She is such a little chatterbox, just like Mama.  She's also a little klutz like Mama.  On Saturday she woke up with a black eye!  She fell on Friday and I guess it was worse then we thought.  We are also still battling the yeast rash from hell.  So she gets lots of diaper free time.  She hasn't had an accident in ages, so I wonder if she might be ready to start potty training?  

    DS is almost 6 months old!  I can hardly believe it.  Six more months of BFing down!  Yay!  He's doing fantastic on solids and really enjoys dinnertime with the family.  I think we'll start giving him breakfast soon too.  He's so happy and smiley!  He just loves floor time and his exersaucer and his jumparoo.  Now if he could just put a little fat on his loooong and lean body, Mama would be so happy.  
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    About the compliment thing...
    I do tell my children I think they are cute, or beautiful or handsome as well as clever, smart, funny, silly, strong, helpful etc., etc., etc.
    I have a friend whose mother never told her she was beautiful. She has the most stunning face, but is much larger than her mom (size 16 and the mom is like a 2). She ended up in therapy because of poor body image and low self esteem. It's so important to instill a sense of beauty and love of self image. We won't all look like Gisele (or whoever), but we can all love how we look.
    One of my discipline books talks about praise and says to be specific. "Thanks for cleaning up your Legos - you we're a good helper." instead of "You're the best helper!" 
    My husband is a college professor and he has noticed over the years the "swelled head" syndrome, so we try to be mindful of that. He says all his students think they know everything these days. Much more eye rolling and "whatever" looks than ten years ago.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from quadgirl1234. Show quadgirl1234's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Thanks Guys.  Sometimes he just whimpers and I can give him his binky and he goes back to sleep. Sometimes, it is full blown flipping out crying with tears. I know he can go 12 hrs in the night without eating but I also take into consideration growth spurts etc.  I also think it could be his teeth.  I am going to try and get him on a schedule.  DH and I are going to have a conversation about this when he gets home from work.  Wish me luck!
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Kar... have you ever thought about doing work or research in child development??  I am serious.  You would be good at it.  You are up on a lot of things and you write very clearly.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    In Response to Re: February - Infants and Toddlers:
    [QUOTE]Kar... have you ever thought about doing work or research in child development??  I am serious.  You would be good at it.  You are up on a lot of things and you write very clearly.
    Posted by medfordcc[/QUOTE]

    Thanks, med, so much. I have mixed feelings posting here at all given I'm not a mother so your saying that means a lot to me.  If I ever need to consider starting a new career, I would think about it.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    thanks for the encouragement with sign- we love it (and DS uses it well- picks it up so quick I am always behind) However- you do need fine motor skills too. one of the words i tried to teach him was ball, which is hard to do unless you can spread your fingers, so we have wound up modifying the signs. I don't think he has delays, it is just hard to do some things (and for bus- you are supposed to finger spell- too hard!) the specific weakness in forming words with the mouth is considered an oromotor weakness- but most of the people who have looked at DS do not think that he has that issue (and he doesn't do the feeding things that are commonly associated with oromotor weakness).

    RE: the therapy is in an office- I think that sometimes it is hard to remember that his receptive language is so strong, even though he isn't talking. she took away a toy from him because she was ready to move on and he just lost it. When she asked me if he was "Always like this or if he was having a bad day" I offered to help soothe him and she said no- so i was left sitting on the floor trying not to cry.

    quad- about the sleep- we were on 3 naps at that age too. with respect to teething, I tried infant advil- it seems to last longer than tylenol. when he was waking up because of teething, he would wake up immediately following 8 hours (when you can next dose).  good luck during the conversation tonight- when we do that I always try to focus on (1) deciding together when to go in and (2) creating a pattern of who goes when.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Yes, signing definitely does take some fine motor skills, but on the whole it can be effectively taught and utilized before a child has the fine motor skill set he needs to mimic speech, which requires almost imperceptable sets of lots of complicated tiny motions.

    Sometimes kids are just a little slower to aquire the full complement of fine motor skills necessary for speech to come as soon as others, but they often start dropping the signing in favor of using words all of a sudden when that tipping point of fine motor skills is aquired.  Misslily has given a fabulous list of things to do with the child to ensure that those skills keep building to that point asap.

    Modifying the signs to accomodate his fine motor skill set was wise.  No sense taking a tool meant to stretch the language center of his brain and turning it into as frustrating a thing as not being able to talk yet.  And, since he's not going to need proper sign language to achieve the same language center building effect, it won't matter in the slightest.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    In Response to Re: February - Infants and Toddlers:
    [QUOTE]she took away a toy from him because she was ready to move on and he just lost it. When she asked me if he was "Always like this or if he was having a bad day" I offered to help soothe him and she said no- so i was left sitting on the floor trying not to cry.
    Posted by winter09wedding[/QUOTE]
    I don't want to dis your therapist, but that doesn't sound very great.  First of all, "always like this" sounds kind of rude.  Second, shouldn't someone working with kids be more skilled at transitioning kids between activities, rather than just taking something away?
    Anyway, whether you like her or not, don't forget that you're the parent.  You get to decide if you soothe him or not.  The worst thing she can do is judge you.  (I know... easier to say to ignore that than to actually ignore it...)

    ETA: Kar, I like reading your insights.  And research is cool!  :)
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Winter - Are you kidding me!!! She made him cry and wouldn't let you comfort him??? I would have been hard pressed not to get up and leave immediately.  Really - there is no need for that.  And I'm speaking as one who took my twins to Mass Eye & Ear to the SLP monthly from age 5 months to 20 months and now has EI once a week (3x for DS 1x for DD) every month.
    He's not going to learn how to talk while crying his eyes out.  He's not going to like going if he associates it with bad experiences.
    I'm so angry on your behalf right now....GGGRRRR!

    I swear sometimes I don't think these "experts" are very good at bedside manner.  I finally had to tell everyone at MEEI that their constant harping at me about the troubles I was having getting my twins to keep their hearing aids in wasn't helping. I literally broke down and said, "Just once, instead of saying, 'you really need to get them to wear them as much as possible.' couldn't you say, 'I know you're doing your best, it must be so hard with two.'" After that, they chose their words much more carefully around me.  I know they all think I'm a total witch with a b, or a wackjob, and I don't care. I'm going to do what I think is best for my children, for my family and for my own sanity.
    Ok - rant over!

    Finally - we didn't use a ton of signs - I wish we had used more. DH was in the "what if it delays the speech further" crowd. But we also made up signs on our own. As Kar pointed out - it doesn't matter if you use the ASL sign or one of your own as long as you are communicating.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    thanks for the support. i was not happy. and she is the third person we have had at this place, the other two openly admitted DS was a mystery and that they didn't know what to do.  when we talked to the pediatrician, she made it seem like it was our choice whether we wanted to continue (which at 15 months she made it sound like it was urgent- so I am not sure what to make of that). I said I would give it another week before giving up- i just feel so scared I will make the wrong choice and do something to delay langauge further- and since EI said he needed it (but they won't service him), i am not sure where else to try. 

    I work with families as a part of my job, and having DS has totally changed my way of working with people. hopefully now it is better :)

    ps. you are totally right lily- he tried to run away when he recognized the elevator. BEFORE this happened.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    winter, how old is your son? 18 months?  is he using any words at all?  even ones that only you recognize?  does he use signs for words - sounds like he does, so that's good. do you encourage him to say cup 'XX, do you want your cup?  (now he reaches for it, leaning in) 'can you say 'cup'?  and be close to him and use very short sentences?  will he then say cup?  (and use the sign at the same time as cup, and if he only uses the sign for cup, then that's FINE).

    given he's crying when he gets off the elevator, and given now the specialists are saying that there don't seem to be structural issues, and (I'm SURE) they've tested his hearing, then perhaps it really is just that he's developing language slower.... and you can just stop the therapy until he's 2 years old (IF he needs it then) when he's older and works better with therapy?  because if it's really and truly just that he's going to talk later, that it's not that he CAN'T do it now (like other children with delays), then the speech ther. isn't going to speed things up.

    didn't he walk at some crazy young age, like 8 months old, or was that someone else's child?  if he walked young, perhaps his focus was on gross motor and not speech.  His receptive sounds like it's on target for his age?  He can follow 1 step instructions? "Go give this (handing it to him) to Mummmy."  "Bring your shoes to Daddy"

    use short sentences (like 3 or 4 words long), don't inundate him with a paragraph or long sentences. (example: Go get your shoes.  vs. Would you please get your shoes and bring them here so I can put them on and we can go outside?

    and THEN when/if you do take him back at 2 yrs old, find someone who specializes in children (which is, I'm sure, what you thought you'd done, frustrating!)

    Because any 15 to 18 month old will cry if you just whip the ball out of his hands and move on, even tho I know the speech ther has to move on, he's a toddler, he isn't gonna move on that quickly.  she may be a fab speech ther. for older children, just not for a toddler.

    I'm now going to ask an obvious question (I think) but just in case.... they HAVE had a full hearing test with a specialist (not just in the pedi's office)?  One of our babies has moderate hearing loss in both ears, they think/hope because she has so much fluid in her ears from residual ear infections they thought had been handled.  but of COURSE she isnt' using as much language as others her age (14-15 mos) if she can't HEAR the words we use?  kinda hard to mimic that which we can't hear well.... and of course, it seems like she can hear because if we make a loud noise she can hear it, but it's more the subtle things like words that are harder to hear.

    good luck, he'll talk!  And just as a child doesn't say "bottle", he says baba or bopple or whatever, all children when learning sign don't make each sign absolutely correctly - they make approximations, then will move closer to the correct sign if you keep making the right sign eventually, just like baba because bopple becomes bottle over many months!  So don't worry that his "incorrect" signs are a sign of a delay in fine motor, he's fine, it's just their fingers aren't as good as ours are as adults! 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Oh, goodness, I didn't mean to imply (did I?) that not being able to form each sign perfectly means a "delay" in fine motor skills, just that maybe they don't have the full complement of fine motor skills yet to make them all just right.  They can be perfectly developmentally on track and not be able to form every sign perfectly off the bat.  It's akin to starting with "Ma ma" instead of "existentialism."  If they don't start with the latter, it doesn't mean they are behind in acquiring language, but it could indicate they are behind in their study of philosophy.
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    In Response to Re: February - Infants and Toddlers:
    [QUOTE]for bus- you are supposed to finger spell- too hard!
    Posted by winter09wedding[/QUOTE]

    A secondary sign for bus I've seen (probably the kids' version) is to drive a big steering wheel, like for a bus, down and in front of you.  'cuz, yes, finger spelling is a bear! I have 9 letters in my name....  horrible!

    fun signing videos for young children (if you allow your children to watch tv) are
    http://www.signingtime.com/getting-started/

    I just checked out their website and they now have classes taught by certified signing time instructors, perhaps you could find a class if you're really interested (children and parents attend)

    this book is a fun one for lots of kids signs: Signs for Me

    http://www.amazon.com/Signs-Me-Vocabulary-Children-Teachers/dp/0915035278
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from jennifyr78. Show jennifyr78's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    In Response to Re: February - Infants and Toddlers:
    [QUOTE] I don't want to dis your therapist, but that doesn't sound very great.  First of all, "always like this" sounds kind of rude.  Second, shouldn't someone working with kids be more skilled at transitioning kids between activities, rather than just taking something away?
    Posted by medfordcc[/QUOTE]

    Agree!  Winter, I'm sorry you are having these issues with her.  I wish I had advice. 

    Question for BF-ing moms:  When your child started sleeping longer stretches at night, did you set an alarm to pump?  DD slept for just over 7 hours again last night, and when we woke up, my milk-makers were engorged and leaking.  Not that I minded the 7 hours of sleep (7 blissful, restorative hours!!!), but I don't know if my body should be going that long without messing with my supply and/or putting too much pressure on my milk ducts. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from winter09wedding. Show winter09wedding's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Jennifyr- I always pumped right before bed, once he was sleeping through the night, it was typically enough to help me make it around 7 hours. And then I would actually pump while nursing in the AM, or else I lost all the milk in my other side while feeding. Once it becomes a pattern (the sleeping through the night), your body adjusts- I had no problems with supply during the day. 

    Thanks everyone for all of your interest/support. CT- he is 18 months. He had recurrent ear infections when he was younger (6-10 months) and has had multiple hearing checks through the ORL’s office (all fine). His receptive speech scores like a 3 year old- so most of the SLPs don’t think that it is b/c of the ear infections.  He did walk a little early- 11 months (not 8!). he was also really sick for two months with what they think was a post viral thing- stopped walking, problems with balance, and he stopped babbling at that point.  However, his neurologist doesn’t think that this is related at all. Motor skills have returned completely after that.  


    With respect to what he is doing expressively- he uses about 15 signs- knows more but doesn’t use them all consistently (instead of signing mom, he will just come to me- but if I’m not around he’ll use it).  He is able to generalize signs (use them in a different context). He has some basic words (mama, da) that he says more consistently, and will then sometimes say other words pretty clearly (his name, car, truck, carrot, shoes). However, those words are not “Developmentally appropriate” – meaning they aren’t the words that kids typically learn first. When we hear the “other words” it is often in response to repetitive cueing (are those your shoes, should we put your shoes on, one shoe is on!, etc.)  but he doesn’t add the words to his repertoire- so we can go weeks before hearing it again. That said, he is very independent, and will often do things for himself rather than asking us for help or making requests (e.g., gets his cup out of the fridge, his toys are easy to grab, etc.)

     We have used the “kid” version of bus for truck (same sign unfortunately) and he wanted a different one. Don’t worry kar- I didn’t take it to mean that his fine motor skills are delayed- we know they aren’t (because EI just tested him!!) and that his struggles with some harder signs are solely developmental (and appropriate). Thanks everyone.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Oh, good!  Thanks for letting me know I didn't scare you about a delay that didn't seem to be there to me at all. :)  It sounds totally natural to me that he only uses some signs occassionally, when he perceives a need for them, like with the one for "mom" when you aren't there.  He must think of it as, "I want mom," or "where is mom," so wouldn't say that if you're standing right there.  I'm no child development expert (but thanks, med, for the idea!), but your report sounds A-OK to me.  And, it's wonderful news the virus didn't set him back long term.  Great job!!
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Winter - Good luck in you decision whether or not to continue with speech therapy.  From what you describe, DS sounds like he's headed in the right direction with being a little mimic when he hears a new word.  

    Jenn - My DS just started sleeping through the night too.  He still wakes occassionally, but I never wake up in the middle of the night to pump my breasts.  If he sleeps really long (9+ hrs) my breasts are hard and engorged and tender when I wake up, but I just nurse him right away.  Usually one breast is enough for him in the morning, since they are so full, so I pump the other just a bit to relieve the pressure.  If I'm going to work, I pump it fully to empty it.  I've only gotten a clog once since he started sleeping through, and I was able to pump it out that night after he went to sleep.  HTH!
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Winter - I'm thinking that maybe you should take a break from speech therapy. Sounds like you just have a late talker. He may very well be one of those kids who has an explosion of language and starts talking in 2-3 word sentences.
    You and your DH can just keep working with him at home, using the things the SLP's have taught you and the tricks that CT-DC and I have offered up to people on similar threads.

    Both my father and my DH were late talkers. My dad was almost three - his mother was just about to take him to a specialist to see if he had a hearing problem when he finallyl started to speak. That was in the 30's and they lived on a farm in the country so going to the big city was a big deal!.
    My DH also spoke closer to 2 1/2 or so. And he's so bright that he subsequently ended up skipping 2 grades in elementary/middle school.
    Why not take a break and see where you are at age 2 or so?
    Good luck!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    I totally agree with misslily.  Given your description of what's happening right now, I'd give him room to bloom on his own.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    I have been trying like crazy to get caught up on the Feb updates!  I finally went through all 3 pages and made little notes on what I wanted to comment on...

    Medford - I want to kick those people who would say "lazy baby!"  I certainly hope that at least it's being said in a clearly joking manner and that it's not really meant seriously.  It constantly amazes me how people get so vocal about their opinions on child development.  Especially if they have limited knowledge about the particular child.  There is a fine line between making jugement calls about a child's development and giving a helpful tip about something (like the infant in the stroller scenario someone wrote about a while ago).

    Fram - happy almost bday to DD!  I hope your circus party (that was you doing that theme, right?) is shaping up nicely! 

    Jennifyr - how is the bottle-feeding going?  All the advice the folks here gave is exactly what I would have said.  We went through a very tough time getting DD to take a bottle and in the end, she just had to decide to do it.  The tv method did work for us, though, for the most part.  After a week or so she didn't need it anymore.  But I still think it only worked because she decided to do it.

    Wedoct - congrats on the crawling!  A whole new world for all of you...

    Quad - I hope the sleeping is going better.  selfishly, I'll be curious how it all plays out because we'll be moving sometime in the next few months and I'm wondering how DD will handle it, especially since she is currently sharing a room with DH and I.

    Trouble - congrats on the first full sentence! 

    Winter09 - I got all upset reading your post about how the therapist made DS cry.  Have you decided if you'll continue?

    As for us, I have not yet dealt with the morning bottle thing, mainly because I've barely seen MIL since then.  We'll see how next week plays out.  Otherwise, things are fine except DD is MAJORLY whining now, much more than ever before!  It's driving us all crazy.  I think it's a bit of her exercising her willpower, because she is not using any of her signs or words, instead choosing this annoyng whine.  I'm hoping it's a phase.
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    It will only be a short phase if the whining doesn't ever produce the results she wants.  If she only gets what she wants if she talks or signs that's all she'll choose to do once it becomes crystal clear that whining doesn't ever work.  Cave once, though, and she'll keep trying.

    ETA:  Everyone who takes care of her needs to be in on the "not even once" plan for the whining to stop.  If it works on one person it will lengthen the phase proportionally to how often and easily it works.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    Jennifyr - If he continues to sleep that long, you will only wake up engorged for a few days.  I wouldn't worry about pumping.  If it was a fluke and he starts waking up after 4 hours, you're body will deal with it.  But like Lily said, once DD was at a point where she was definitely going to be down for 6-8 hours, I started pumping every night before I went to bed.

    I think I have figured out why most mothers supposedly make it to 10 months pumping - They get sick of the pumping situation at work!!!  There were 4 occasions within 2 weeks where someone knocked on the door and scared the crap out of me despite the fact that a) I had booked the room and b) You can tell when the door is locked/occupied.  Now I have just discovered that one my fellow mothers books 6-8 appointments EVERY DAY.  There are 3 different rooms and sometimes she even books 2 of them at the same time.  How could you do that to your fellow mothers?  Not everyone would think to look at the other schedule to see that the SAME person has the other room booked.
    Rant over!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    That's so mean.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: February - Infants and Toddlers

    In Response to Re: February - Infants and Toddlers:
    [QUOTE]It's akin to starting with "Ma ma" instead of "existentialism."  If they don't start with the latter, it doesn't mean they are behind in acquiring language, but it could indicate they are behind in their study of philosophy.
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]
    hahaha.  :)

    Winter, your son's language doesn't sound any different than our LO's.  Should I be worried??  Or did someone worry you unnecessarily??  So hard to know.  Anyway, I hope you will go with your gut.  You are doing a good job.

    re: pumping - I did not pump when she slept longer at night.  I slept!  However, I will say that during that period, I could not sleep on my belly because the pressure would result in a hard spot that could potentially block up.  (Incidentally, the only real blocked duct I ever got [that wouldn't clear at the next feeding/pumping] was after wearing DD too tightly in the carrier while I was full.  Her arm was pressed in and I think it led to the blockage.  So keep an eye out for that as the LO starts to go longer between daytime feedings as well.)
     

Share