Re: February - Infants and Toddlers
posted at 2/21/2012 3:26 PM EST
In Response to Re: February - Infants and Toddlers
[QUOTE]I recall a post about LOs feeling most safe with their "primary" care giver, and therefore giving them the hardest time?? Anyone remember this and can elaborate at all? I definitely spend the most time with DS over my DH, MIL and daycare teachers. And I am just getting abused. DS is so whiney all the time with me now. He cries/screams when I change his diaper (sings when Daddy does it), wants to pull my hair, won't eat a lot of what I give him complaining for something else... and yesterday, I got bit pretty darn bad (first time). He wanted in the bathroom vanity and I was in front saying "no, no cupboard" and he grabbed my thigh with his teeth, but then chumped down so hard. Through my jeans he tore skin. I yelped (it f ing hurt), said "no bite" very loudly 3 times while sitting him on his bum. Then ignored for 1 minute. He was beyond upset and wanted me to hold him right away. But I absolutely will not tolerate biting. Especially when it draws blood. I know if he did that at daycare he'd probably be dismissed. He is an absolute angel when other people come to our house or when we go out/have playdates. Yesterday was a perfect example. Horrible for first hour to me (us alone), EI therapist came and all smiles and laughs and did his exercices, great in the car for errands, and beyond awesome at afternoon playdate. Then home for dinner and immediate screaming and crying until Dad got home. Do I just take this or is there anything a mom can do when their little ones are really trying to see what their limits are? He is 16 mths. Is it possible he doesn't like me? I know that's a silly question... but I'm at my wit's end. I know kids don't like their parents quite often, and if its because of discipline, that's fine with me (I'm harder than DH already I can tell). I really wasn't quite fond of my mom until I was about 18. But, already??? I'm going to give him more space, and me too. I've decided to join the gym down the street and turn over the morning routine to DH so I can go twice a week before work. This will be good for my thighs as well as my mind. And maybe absense will make the heart grow fonder for the little guy.
Posted by IPWBride[/QUOTE]
IPW, I feel for you.
He loves you, he likes, you he trusts you and feels safe with you. He bit you because he knew you'd still love him no matter what. It s*cks, but it's the way it is some days (or weeks, sigh). DD is always worse with me than anyone else, including DH. Plus, there's something to be said about getting the kid from daycare just when the witching hour is starting. That pre-meal chaos time is a not-fun time to be a kid or a parent. I was just talking about this with a coworker friend who just came back to work. She feels guilty about leaving the baby at daycare but then she feels guilty that when she picks her up she feels resentful that she's counting down the next 5 hours until the child will stop nursing and pass out. My friend knows her daughter has cheerful laughing play times at school and takes 2 2-hour naps and is generally easy as pie. Then it's all about being a miserable fussy little larval-stage human for hours with Mom after poor Mom's worked an 8-hour day (plus baby back-seat crying commutes).
The fussiness will get better. We had a real bout of fussiness and general misery at about 16-18 months with our DD and she's really been wonderful recently. Now that she's older (3 next month) we've had a lot of success giving her activities that make her feel included without having to stop doing our own stuff. For example, she "washes the dishes" (stands on a stool at the sink and makes a huge soggy soapy mess with a few pots, plastic plates, spoons, strainer, etc.) while I cook dinner. She isn't in the way, isn't near the knives or oven, but we can talk about her day and share some time. I feel like some of that fussiness misery at the edge of 2 years is from them being mature enough to get bored/frustrated but not really mature enough to do anything about it.
He really does love you more than anyone! Think about it--when some random weird coworker asks you how your day is going, you just say "fine, and you?" and then when your best friend asks you you tell them the truth.