March Infants and toddlers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from MM379. Show MM379's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Arcain, I'm sorry this has been stressful!  If you are considering different formula, I would recommend the Good Start line.  It is "sensitive" by nature in that it's proteins are broken down pre-digestion already.  I stopped BFing/pumping with both kids around the 6-8 week park or started tapering.  Can't quite remember the exact timing with each now!  BFing with DS was a LONG, painful, and ultimately dissatisfying experience.  He had latch issues and was a very slow eater and production was low.  It really hampered my bonding with him b/c it was such a difficult process, I felt inadequate and guilty for it not working, and I think contributed to post partum depression/anxiety.  It wasn't until we started supplementing that I felt better.  DD was small and had a tiny, clenched jaw and never really latched, so I pumped and supplemented for a while for her which wasn't too bad, and I was a lot more relaxed/easygoing in my approach in feeding her both right away until I decided I was done pumping. My point here is try not to put pressure on yourself either way.  Trying to BF is great, pumping is great, and formula is great - all are great so long as mom is feeling good and baby is fed and growing.  It sounds like you are a great, attentive, caring mom and any which way things work out will be fine.  If you aren't super comfy with the pedi you saw, maybe call and ask to talk to the other one or perhaps ask around for some recommendations? 
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Arcain - I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time.  And please don't blame baby's gassiness on the suplimenting. Babies who nurse get lots of gas too - especially if mommy eats something that disagrees with them. I simplly don't want you to feel guilty about having to suppliment and not having a good nursing experience. I know just how you feel right now.  It's so frustrating and depressing to be having a hard time with the nursing.
    I found that proping the kids up after feeding helped a lot. When they were tiny I propped them on a boppy pillow - head at the bottom of the "U" and rear end in the hole. Once they were big enough I put them in a bouncy seat. 20 minutes seemed to help a lot.
    I've heard it all with nursing. I had a friend who had to stop when she got shingles 3 weeks after her twins were born. I friend who got a really badly blocked duck that got infected. A friend who did 8 months with DS1 and only 8 weeks with DS2 because he wasn't latching well. It is what it is.
    You're a great mom and you're doing a wonderful job!
    BTW - my formula fed babies didn't even get their first cold until they were 14 months old and have never had an ear infection (they are 2 years 9 months now).
    Hang in there!!!
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Indeed, anyone that tells you how bm is the only "real" way babies will develop their immune systems is giving you outdated information. Today's formula is purposefully designed to do the same thing for babies' immunity as bm.
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Kar, it's not that it's the only "real" way, it's that it is still the best way...it's the perfect "formula".  That said, it doesn't work for everyone, and formula will get the job done.  And I say that as a mom who tried to nurse and ended up pumping and supplementing to 6 months, then switched to all formula...so I'm not someone who had an easy time of it. 

    So yes, b-milk is still best, nutrition-wise, but there are extenuating factors that have to be considered, and sometimes formula is the best thing for the family and the situation.  It's an individual decision about what that means. I think we all bring our own experiences in to our advice (and I know I do the same), but the bottom line is that Arcain or any new mom has to decide what is best for her, and that's the right thing to do.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    I'm just saying that the studies that showed how immunity suffers for using formula are outdated now that formulas are created with that purpose taken care of.
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from luvRIboy. Show luvRIboy's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Also, I think that one of the hardest things about nursing is that we go into it with a set of expectations - it will be a great bonding experience, we think about the pictures on the nursing books and how the mom looks with adoration at the sleeping baby, etc.  In reality, for MOST WOMEN, it is hard.  And the first 6 weeks are especially hard, since you're just getting to know this new person, and the baby plays a huge role in how nursing goes. 

    My mom is a lactation consultant - literally wrote a book on breastfeeding - and I had a horrible time.  DD and I would both cry.  She couldn't latch w/o a shield.  I had a flat n1pple, I had low output, she was small, etc.  In the end, DD gave up on nursing before I did, and before I was ready to give up.  It was horrible.  But when we switched to pumping and bottlefeeding, it was like a switch went off and everything started to work.  We got to enjoy each other, and I could see that she was getting enough to eat and gaining weight.  I still have anxiety going into every pedi app't that she won't have gained, but she's caught right up. 

    Even with all of that, here I am, PG with #2, and I have every intention of trying to nurse again.  Because it's important to me and to my experience of parenting.  Plenty of people think I'm nuts (they also think I'm nuts that I want to try a VBAC instead of a planned c-section), but this is my experience and I have to try.  For me, if not for anything else.

    Okay, off soapbox.  Now you all know my prejudices about the nursing-pumping-formula debate!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    There are many other facets to the debate, but my point was only regarding the immune system and how formula is now designed to provide similar benefits to bm in that regard whereas it wasn't in the past.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    I have heard of other pedis recommending cereal in the bottle to alleviate spitting up/ reflux.  I'm not sure what I'd do but I would be hesitanate. 

    With DD1 we chose Similac Soy (after bfing for 6 months) to start with.  My niece has horrible food allergies and DD1 was born right as they were having real trouble dealing with it so I was twitchy about food things. 

    With the twins I supplemented from the get go.  I'm not sure how other moms of twins exclusively bf although there are some who do, but I never got the hang of feeding both at the sametime, I went back to work at 8 weeks and DS learned VERY quickly that food comes quicker out of bottles.  We supplemented with regular Similac in the beginning but after having spitting up/fussiness issues we switched to Soy which helped some.  In the end it turned out DD2 had colic which was awful.

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Hi ladies - I hope you don't mind me dropping in from the Pregnancy board with a random baby gear question, but I'd love any wisdom you might have to offer. I'm 37+ weeks along with my first baby and am busily wrapping up the last loose ends. My one big remaining question mark is the baby monitor. Do you have any tips or preferences - video vs. audio, specific models? Many of my friends have the Summer Infant video monitor and love it, though a couple of my more laid-back friends have audio-only and feel it helps them to obsess less. I went to Buy Buy Baby last night and talked with a manager, who recommended the Motorola video monitor (so expensive at $250). I wound up buying that, plus an audio-only one, to bring home for peace of mind with the intent of doing yet MORE research and returning one. But I'd love some thoughts from experienced moms.

    Thanks so much...looking forward to joining you over here in a few weeks!
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Tangerine - video is so great. Worth every penny to be able to see instead of running in all the time.Especially once you start to try and sleep train.
    Babies can be noisy sleepers, but often they are just fine and do better if mommy isn't constantly running in to check on them
    We had the Summer infant video and loved it.
    I actually feel that it's the video that allows you obsess less - you can check, and quell your fears so easily. And my parents loved it when they came to sit.
    Good luck with whatever you choose.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Luv - I don't think you are prejudiced about nursing, formula etc. I thought your post was very well crafted.
    I do think the hardest thing is that those of us who had to switch to formula know deep down that mother's milk is the very best. My friend with the shingles had horrible guilt about stopping. She was pumping and dumping while sick and in terrible pain. Her husband (a doctor) finally just took her pump away and said, "we're done with this. No guilt - formula from now on - you need to get healthy so you can take care of these twins."
    it's hard to pull the plug sometimes - but for me, it made things better in the long run.
    I hope Arcain gets some sort of system going that works for her and her family, no matter what that is. She deserves some peace of mind and the ability to enjoy her baby's infancy.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Tangerine: I can give you an opinion from both sides :) When my #1 moved to the nursery (we had her in with us to start) we were a bit crazy.  Afterall, she was our first!  We wound up getting an audio and video monitor.  The reason was that the audio had better sound quality and also had a thermometer in it and of course the video had the picture.  We went with Phillips Advent and find the quality has been great.  But like your friends have said, you do become a bit obsessed with watching the monitor.  When #2 came along we were a little more laid back.  He went in his own room sooner, and when he did, we took the audio monitor out of DD's room and just put it in DS's room.  I figured if he was crying, I didn't really need to see what he was doing (at 4 months old), I'd just go in to feed him.  He's now 7+ months and we still have only the audio monitor in his room.  I think it's been fine and really allows you to get the rest you need because you're not looking to see what's going on even when LO isn't making any noise.  Second time around really is so much easier.  If only you could have your second child first, right? :)

    Arain: You've gotten some really great advice here.  Honestly though, if I were you, I'd look for a new peditrician.  That oatmeal advice just doesn't sit well with me.  I think it'd just make a bad situation worse.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from Trouble30. Show Trouble30's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Luv: I missed your post.  FWIW, just to add to that, even if nursing does go well, you have good supply and baby latches well, it doesn't mean you'll love it necessarily.  I had a pretty easy time with it both times (relatively) and I still look to those moms who love it with adoration.  I don't find it relaxing or fun at all.  I do it because I feel it's best for my babies - not that it's best for me. 
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Bostongrl, you are NOT crazy. Go with your gut. I had a similar experience with our first daycare provider and she lasted a whole 2 days before I left work early and picked up DD. Thankfully I was able to find someone to replace her quickly - Sue, as you know - and I'm so glad I did. Don't be afraid to give her a chance, but I would highly recommend having a plan B just in case you continue to feel uneasy. She should be accomodating, YOU are the mother, she doesn't need to be criticizing your choices.

    ETA: i do second what was said before and that is that you will have differences w/ any daycare provider. Even though ours is FABULOUS there are things here and there where I either request that she does something differently or I wish she would b/c its the way I would. But I've learned to pick my battles and at teh end of the day, DD is gleaming and healthy so I only really stick to my gun on things I feel super strongly about (like not using the walker). I think I kind of contradicted myself here, but the beginning of my post was me remembering exactly how you felt and the second part is 8 months later...lol. Either way, go with your gut. :-)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from dz76. Show dz76's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    I try to tell myself that I am not obsessive about wanting moms to try breastfeeding but it would be a lie.:-)  I do however try to bite my tongue when it is clear that someone is firm on not wanting to do it.  I just wish everyone would be willing to try where not medically impossible.  My cousin just had a baby and is formula feeding and I have just bitten my tongue since we aren't that close but I would love to know why she didn't want to try.

    I lucked out with DD1 who came out knowing what to do but neither of the twins were like that.  Nursing is HARD and does not automatically just work.  My sister had a horrible time with her son.  I went everyday with her to the bfing support group at SSH but it took a long time for her and her son to get it down.  Those first 6-8 weeks were awful for her.  She must have really wanted to bf since she kept going.  She'd tell her self "I'll give it to 6 weeks" then "I'll give it to 3 months" and then it was "I'll give it to 6 months".  I would have given up if I was her.  I did with the twins.

    Before the twins were born, I was given the La Leche breastfeeding multiples book.  I had to stop after 2 chapters because I wanted to reach through the book and shake the author.  I am pro bfing but sometimes it just isn't right for a family and they sounded so judgmental of moms who formula fed.

    I'm a mass of contradictions, aren't I? Smile

    The end result though is that there isn't only one right way to feed a baby.  The right way is what ever works for you and your family.

    I hadn't weighed in on the EP discussion.  I work full time, out of the house at 8 and home at 7.  When DD1 was nursing, I pumped at work until she was 6 months.  In the end I stopped because I couldn't handle dragging the pump back and forth and all the additional prep work at night of getting parts cleaned and ready for the next day.  With the twins, I lasted until 5 months with them getting half formula and half breast milk.  It was hard and not enjoyable for me so I stopped and switched them to all formula.  Life became easier once I stopped pumping.  When you pump, IMHO, you have the worst of both world.  The restrictions and mess of pumping/nursing and the bottle cleaning/formula making/warming bottles of formula feeding.

    If you want to increase your supply, I did have success with Fenugreek which is a supplement to increase supply.  You can find it at Whole Foods.
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Miss lily, luv, and MM, thank you so much for your supportive words. I do very much want to get to a place where I'm happy and not stressed about feeding, and I think I'm getting there incrementally.i am only bfing every other feeding now and forcing myself to stop approaching formula with a negative attitude.DS isn't getting any better with bfing (in fact, since we started pace feeding him, he's just become as bad at the bottle as he is at the breast...well, almost as bad!), but I'm not upset about it like I was a week or so ago.i also need to remind myself that he's healthy, gaining weight really well, and generally pretty happy, aside from the fussiness that I'm hoping sensitive formula might alleviate. Kar, I get what you mean about the benefits of bfing v formula. Luv is right that bm is the best food, but formula has come a long way and some people (like me!) tend to be unfairly negative about it. The whole culture of breast feeding is interesting like that. Maybe because it's so hard, people really push its benefits and perpetuate the idea that anyone can do it, which is good in that it gets more reluctant moms to try it. What's lost in that, though, is all the stories of how it can get complicated and not work for a lot of people. It wasn't until talking to you all and several friends/family members that I really understood how widespread the struggles are.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from wrkingmom. Show wrkingmom's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Boston - can you go and physically spend some time at the DC with your little one?  I had huge guilt leaving my first and still get wicked envious of the teachers that get to see things I dont.  We have the same concerns where we wish they would do certain things differently - some we address such as a trend of sweet snacks and they reverted back to not as sweet or limit ds's portion and supplement with some of our brought from home snacks.  Certain days things will happen that you do not agree to or frustrates you such as a shorter nap or late dinner but I have found we end up doing the same things from time to time and the kid survives but this is me 22 months in and preggo with my second so I have had time to mellow.
    I think if you can spend some time at the DC before you head back to work you might learn a bit more about the provider and either 1)feel more comfortable or 2) know it is not right and start looking quickly.  It might also help you to know the provider's ways better and the provider to know your baby.  My biggest advice - leave your baby for a couple of hours with dc the day or two before returning to work.  It is hard to give up that time but you dont want to return to work AND deal with first day drop off all on the same day.  I thought I would be the one balling when we had our first day and it was my dh...one look at him and I knew if I lost it we were in trouble ;)
    All I can say is good luck - it is probably the hardest thing I did and I love my dc.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Tang, we have an audio only Philips Avent and have been very happy. DS has been in his room since day 1(way too noisy of a sleeper for me to get any rest!). If I had video, I would obsess too much over checking to see if he's breathing, etc., so it was the best choice for me. The audio only clicks on when it picks up noise, which I found disconcerting at first, but I like it now.
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Tangerine - I just bumped a post from a few months ago about monitors.  It's on the pregnancy page so take a look if you have a chance.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Arcain - does your LO get upset when he spits up?
    Our LO spit up all, all, all the time, but she didn't care.  Her pedi said that some babies just spit up, and spit up doesn't necessarily indicate reflux.  It's if the spit up seems to pain them that it could be acid-y.

    Hang in there.  It's really hard.  I also second the advice about laying the baby over your knee.  When my LO was that age and fussy/gassy, she loved to lay on her belly sideways across our bellies, with feet hanging down.
    She also liked the hold where they're belly down on your forearm, with the side of the face in the crook of your arm.  Your forearm/hand put pressure on the belly.
    Sorry I can't remember what that hold is called!
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    In Response to Re: March Infants and toddlers:
    [QUOTE]Miss lily, luv, and MM, thank you so much for your supportive words. I do very much want to get to a place where I'm happy and not stressed about feeding, and I think I'm getting there incrementally.i am only bfing every other feeding now and forcing myself to stop approaching formula with a negative attitude.DS isn't getting any better with bfing (in fact, since we started pace feeding him, he's just become as bad at the bottle as he is at the breast...well, almost as bad!), but I'm not upset about it like I was a week or so ago.i also need to remind myself that he's healthy, gaining weight really well, and generally pretty happy, aside from the fussiness that I'm hoping sensitive formula might alleviate. Kar, I get what you mean about the benefits of bfing v formula. Luv is right that bm is the best food, but formula has come a long way and some people (like me!) tend to be unfairly negative about it. The whole culture of breast feeding is interesting like that. Maybe because it's so hard, people really push its benefits and perpetuate the idea that anyone can do it, which is good in that it gets more reluctant moms to try it. What's lost in that, though, is all the stories of how it can get complicated and not work for a lot of people. It wasn't until talking to you all and several friends/family members that I really understood how widespread the struggles are.
    Posted by Arcain[/QUOTE]

    You might have completely misread my posts.  I said that formula is much better than it used to be especially with respect to its immunity building properties which used to be only available via breast milk.

    I'd think this would be supportive especially to a mom struggling with bf'ing and facing the formula choice.  

    ETA:  In other words, you can at least scratch "immune system support" off the list of things to worry about if you have to supplement with or go entirely to formula.  

    How did this get turned around into my lauding the benefits of bm v formula?
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from Tangerine5. Show Tangerine5's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Thanks so much for the monitor feedback - and misslily, thank you for bumping that thread. I just read the whole thing with great interest! I'm definitely leaning toward the video monitor - I mostly considered/bought the audio one as a concession to DH. Since it sounds like the video type will be increasingly useful as LO gets older, I think we'll stick with that. Thanks again!
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from IPWBride. Show IPWBride's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Medford... that's called the football hold... and my DS was instantly soothed when my DH would do that.  Just thinking of that now makes me realize how small they all start out.  How quickly we forget.  Thinking about holding DS now at 17 months like that makes me laugh.  But it was a life saver!

    I also just had (still have) audio only.  I am amazed how much those things pick up.  If I turn up the volume even just a bit, I can literally head him breathing.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    Kar - I think we both got confused in that exchange. I didn't think you were lauding the benefits of bm vs. formula. I definitely got that you meant that formula has improved a lot and so I don't have to worry about losing the immune support benefit with it, and I really appreciate the reminder about that since, as I said, I have had a negative attitude toward formula and at the very least for my own sanity I need to start seeing it more positively (and as you point out, there's good reason to!).

    The other stuff I said was going on a tangent about the whole culture around bfing, and didn't relate directly to what you said. Sorry if it was confusing -- I lumped it all into the same para, not to mention that I'm rather braindead lately and probably not expressing myself well.

    The point is, your comment about the positive aspects of formula was refreshing precisely because that point tends to be lost (for me at least) in the general push to encourage breastfeeding. Though I can't pinpoint one book, article, or class that did this to me, everything I read/heard about bfing until giving birth led me to feel, illogically, like formula was a bad option I should avoid at all costs, rather than a not-perfect-but-still-good alternative that will still give my child nutrition, etc., should breastfeeding fail. So needless to say, the reminder helps :-).

    For the record, the generic "people" I reference in my discussion about the culture around breastfeeding does not include ANYONE on this board. You are all, to a person, incredibly thoughtful and reasonable and have helped me fight this sense I get from the broader culture (and my own neurotic guilt!) that I'm a bad mom if I feed my baby formula.

    Oy, I hope that made sense. DS has me running on about 3 hours sleep in the last 36 hours!
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Arcain. Show Arcain's posts

    Re: March Infants and toddlers

    DZ - I'd have a hard time with someone who just didn't want to try bfing, too, especially since I want so desperately to be able to exclusively bf and have so far been unable to to it to the degree I want to. Because bfing is so hard, I think it is important to encourage it as much as possible, but the flip side is that those of us who struggle can get caught up in that and feel guilty when we can't. But, as I said in my response to Kar, everyone I've encountered on these boards who pushes bfing does so in a way that's totally respectful of those who struggle with it. It's remarkable, really -- I would have expected to encounter at least one bad apple by now but I haven't!

    Medford - He sometimes gets upset when he spits up, but only a little and not all the time. I do think he's gassy though, b/c he does a good bit of grunting, arching, and stretching after eating, and is often fussy too.

    I tried laying him on my knee like that and he got mad, but I'll keep trying. It does seem like it should work. Thanks!

     

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