posted at 3/30/2012 9:05 AM EDT
Ok, so I'm in a mischievous mood to post and this week's pre-chewed placenta threads inspired me to probably incite some knee-jerk, judgmental statements.
But seriously, I've been curious/mulling this over in my mind for a while and figured other people's opinions would be helpful.
So, background: I really am more comfortable naked than wearing clothes (except of course in terms of New England winters). It's just a sensory thing. On top of this I was raised in a family that wasn't that judgmental about nudity. I wear clothes in public and I'm actually very aware of modesty in terms of clothing itself since I'm not really an exhibitionist or anything, just for my own comfort I prefer to, for example, sleep naked.
DD seems to have similar sensory proclivities. Example: she gets home, takes her shoes off, takes her socks off, then proceeds to take her pants off haha. We've done a good job (considering she's 3) teaching her that she needs to wear clothes in public and while it's ok to be naked when in the privacy of your own home, it makes people uncomfortable if you don't wear clothing to school or the store or whatever.
Now that she's getting older (and much more verbal!), I am wondering where people think the line should be in terms of nudity in front of kids at home. When she wakes up in the morning on the weekends and starts yelling for me, I usually jump up, stick my head in her room, and say "shhh. Daddy's sleeping. Let me put my clothes on, ok?" and then I go put my clothes on. She really doesn't like wearing clothes to bed herself, and has already started asking when she can sleep naked like a grown up. My plan is to let her sleep naked if she wants once she's ready to give up the overnight diaper (not dry consistently enough yet in the mornings for this). What do people think? General nudity opinions?
posted at 3/30/2012 9:19 AM EDT
Kids tend to be much warmer at night than adults, or so I've read. My mom always insisted I was all covered up, and I actually remember figuring out by deliberate experimentation just how much of my legs and arms I could leave uncovered without causing her to cover me all up, again. No amount of telling her I was HOT seemed to make a difference. So, from that perspective I'd think any child might be more comfy buck naked at night. As for the other times, as long as your neighbors haven't invested in good binoculars I think it should be up to your family to decide what's "normal" in your house. (And, I quote it only to mean that it's totally subjective.)
posted at 3/30/2012 9:22 AM EDT
If you and she are comfortable w/ that, who cares what you do in your own home? One of my former bosses was a nudist [he didn't hide this fact, but didn't advertise it]. It came up in conversation several times and basically, there is nudist etiquette. I'm sure you can find it if you google it, but it seemed pretty common sense. He had 2 daughters. Some people in the office found it kind of weird [I will admit I did] that he continued to engage in this behavior when the girls were tween and teens, but they weren't my kids and no one asked me my opinion so I didn't share it w/ him.
I prefer to sleep sans clothes when it's hot. I personally find it more comfortable. We have big picture windows in teh front of the house, so I generally try to make sure that I have on underwear and a bra if I am walking around downstairs, but other than that, I don't give a p00p. If I'm the biggest thrill the neighbors get on a particular day, they probably need to get out more. :-p
posted at 3/30/2012 9:22 AM EDT
If she sleeps fine with a blanket, I say go for it. I guess get her a robe (for winter) and call it normal! :)
I think kids generally like to be naked. My DD loves when I let her run around completely naked too. We do "airtime" twice a day so she runs around without her diaper for at least an hour a day total. We usually have her wear a shirt because it's winter, but if it's warm enough I let her be completely naked and she is in heaven!!! Runs around with a HUGE smile while I call her "naked baby." It's just too cute.
Personally, I like to keep my undies on :)
posted at 3/30/2012 9:31 AM EDT
You are entitled to raise your child anyway you want but just be careful on who your daughter could tell as she gets older. Teachers, other parents, etc. may not share the idea that the naked body is ok for a child so young to see. I'm not being judgmental just wanted to put another thought out there that you may not hadn't considered.
posted at 3/30/2012 9:42 AM EDT
ALF, I had to laugh at your comment about the neighbors; I don't really care, either, but I don't want to know if they actively try to catch me in my underwear (or less). That would be creepy, but ignorance is bliss.
posted at 3/30/2012 10:03 AM EDT
We have to spell the word naked in our house because if the kids hear it they get excited and start pulling on their clothes.
When DD1 was little (under 2) there were no "rules" about being naked. DH and I would get changed in front of her and I use to tubby with her. After the first time she noticed daddy was different that was the end of him EVER being naked in front of her because it creeped him out. I on the other hand have no issues about it. I still get changed in front of her and in the last few months she has all of the sudden noticed my breasts and I get a lot of questions about them for some reason. It totally bothers my husband when she starts pointing out things.
Right now I'm struggling with getting her to learn that you can't touch down there while on the toilet without unintentionally implying that you should never touch down there.
I say if she wants to sleep naked let her even in her diaper if you can trust her not to take it off and it's warm enough. Why not? Life too short to worry about what other people think about what is going on at home. Of course, you'll need to make sure she knows naked sleeping is only for at or that could lead to some problems down the road. ;-)
posted at 3/30/2012 1:01 PM EDT
My husband and I have started this discussion as ds is 22 months and I still go to the bathroom (almost said potty like I am talking to him), shower and change in front of him. I have discussed "privates" with him and said how they are different with girls and boys. I dont mind being naked in front of him but he does like to try to pinch my niples so I have to wear a bra if nothing else than at 30 wks prego, it HURTS, but I also dont think he should do that either.
my dh thinks he is getting too old to see me. I think a more open attitude creates more opportunity for talk - we differ.
I do struggle with him playing with his part while on the toilet because when he goes it sprays everywhere since he has it pointing out of the potty so I agree it is difficult to distinguish between potty time exploring and say bath exploring.
I think it just depends on what your family is comfortable with but also explaining that not all families are comfortable with the same thing.
posted at 3/30/2012 1:14 PM EDT
I suggest for anyone doing something which is basically harmless but, let's say, unusual in the culture, whatever it may be:
Do a quick motive check. Is your true motivation that you think something is a good idea? If you can honestly say that you are not doing it partly because you get a kick out of being different or contrarian for its own sake, because it makes you feel smarter than other people, or any other reason that makes it be about your self-satisfaction and ego, good. Some people (not saying you are one) LOVE to be the one mom who does something way out of the ordinary or has way different rules for her kid than her peers because it makes Mom a more special snowflake.
Also, do a conflict cost-benefit analysis. If this is going to cause conflict (not just mild disagreement or the occasional odd comment) way out of proportion to the perceived benefit of doing whatever it is, you have to ask yourself if it's worth it. Is there a way to meet the world halfway?
posted at 3/30/2012 1:46 PM EDT
My parents were nudists when I was in the elementary school years. I saw them naked more times than with clothes. I'm not scarred (at least I don't think so). And we went to plenty of nudist camps. Oddly enough, as someone who ran around naked on the weekends, I am now really NOT comfortable naked. I honestly could never sleep naked. Even after fun, I grab my T shirt (much to DH's dismay) And just like your reason Lissa, but opposite, mine is totally sensory too (I'm not body conscious... it is what it is). I need to feel something on my skin. For example I can't walk barefoot on a lot of surfaces without getting the heeby jeebies. (oh, I just got a chill). And being somewhat large chested, they really feel a heck of a lot better contained behind some kind of fabric!
I asked my mom why we stopped and it was because me and my step brother were getting older and they didn't like making the decision for us just in case it wasn't something we really wanted to do. And, I think they had in their minds that we are not really related so two naked pre-tweens... maybe not such a good idea. (of course that thought makes me gag... they really had nothing to worry about)
Not really sure I have a point either way, but just providing some perspective. And when I look back on those times, I must say, more heeby jeebies to be honest. Not something I'll be doing with my family.
Not to change the subject.. but workingmom... is your 22 mth old son already potty trained?
posted at 3/30/2012 2:25 PM EDT
My DH will not let our twins see him naked - never has. And he thinks it's strange that I will get dressed in front of DS (32 months). so we have a different opinion.
Our kids LOVE naked time. When they were little we used to say "naked baby alert" and make siren noises when they were changing for bath time. Now they love to run around naked and yell "Naked Baby Alert!!!"
And I try to keep DS naked from the waist down as much as possible - it helps him with the potty training.k
DD trained months ago - but she's always in some state of undress at home - or simply changing outfits to suit her mood!
Do what you want as long as it isn't harmful to your child.
posted at 3/30/2012 2:33 PM EDT
I see nothing wrong with your choices in your own home. I would just have a discussion or two with your DD when she's a little older about how not everyone chooses to be naked and that when sleeping at others houses she should wear PJ's. That would get her prepared to be in PJ's when she goes to her first sleepovers and such.
My roommate from college is much more comfortable naked than clothed. It was pretty uncomfortable for me the first few times I came home to find her watching tv in the nude. I eventually got over it but I always had to make sure to call and give her a heads up if anyone else was with me so they didn't get a little free show :)
I'm with IPW that I could never sleep naked. If I wear a nightgown to bed more often than not I will have dreams about not wearing pants over and over again. It gets to the point where I have to just give in and put on shorts so I can get some sleep. Most nights I wear shorts and a t-shirt to avoid this problem.
posted at 3/30/2012 3:53 PM EDT
CLC - I have to say walking in to a roommate in college who was just sitting naked watching tv would have thrown me for a loop. I don't think I could have handled it. She's lucky you would.
posted at 3/30/2012 4:07 PM EDT
yes, clc, unless you are all related or in a relationship, it is totally weird to have someone sitting around naked. lol When I had a roommate, I slept w/ clothes on or kept the door shut and a robe at the foot of the bed!
My DH also can't sleep w/o clothes - he has to have something on. To each their own.
posted at 3/30/2012 4:11 PM EDT
I would have not liked having a naked roommate in college at all. And having to call and tell her to cover up so I could bring a friend over would have made me really angry after a while. Of course when I went to college no one had a cell phone so that would have been a real pain.
But seriously - who wants to sit on a chair or sofa where some woman's naked whoo-hoo has been? Yuck.
posted at 4/13/2012 11:09 PM EDT
In Response to Re: Nudity
[QUOTE]But seriously - who wants to sit on a chair or sofa where some woman's naked whoo-hoo has been? Yuck.
Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]
oh, STOP!!! I'm laughing OUT LOUD at my computer.... and my husband is going to want to know why in a second!
Thanks for the laughs, it's been a horrific and long week, I needed this!
posted at 4/16/2012 7:24 AM EDT
In Response to Re: Nudity
[QUOTE]My parents were nudists when I was in the elementary school years. I saw them naked more times than with clothes. I'm not scarred (at least I don't think so). And we went to plenty of nudist camps. Oddly enough, as someone who ran around naked on the weekends, I am now really NOT comfortable naked. I honestly could never sleep naked. Even after fun, I grab my T shirt (much to DH's dismay) And just like your reason Lissa, but opposite, mine is totally sensory too (I'm not body conscious... it is what it is). I need to feel something on my skin. For example I can't walk barefoot on a lot of surfaces without getting the heeby jeebies. (oh, I just got a chill). And being somewhat large chested, they really feel a heck of a lot better contained behind some kind of fabric! I asked my mom why we stopped and it was because me and my step brother were getting older and they didn't like making the decision for us just in case it wasn't something we really wanted to do. And, I think they had in their minds that we are not really related so two naked pre-tweens... maybe not such a good idea. (of course that thought makes me gag... they really had nothing to worry about) Not really sure I have a point either way, but just providing some perspective. And when I look back on those times, I must say, more heeby jeebies to be honest. Not something I'll be doing with my family. Not to change the subject.. but workingmom... is your 22 mth old son already potty trained?
Posted by IPWBride[/QUOTE]
Sorry IPW - never saw this...short answer is no on the potty training. So far any of our "big" transitions (to the big boy bed, losing the bottle, losing the pacifier) we have worked up to them. So DS's room was set up with everything in it for a couple weeks and we always called it DS's room and his old room the nursery...one night he just crawled into the big boy bed when I said it was bed time instead of heading into the nursery. Pacifier same thing - we just slowly started removing them and talking about them going away and one night they did (around 18 months)...so with potty training we are taking it the same way. We have him sit on the potty before bed or bath and sometimes in the am...we have had a few pee successes no number 2 successes yet but we have also had a number of "accidents" where he will get up from the potty then pee. I figure he is still too young for a full court press as I am not Gisele Bundchen with the paid help to carry my son to the potty every hour to call him potty trained ;)
posted at 4/17/2012 12:06 PM EDT
Great conversation! My girlfriends and I have recently been discussing this. Some of them have sons who are in the 6-7 year old range, and one gf in particular is suddenly wondering if she should stop being naked around him. It's a very interesting discussion, and I definitely think a very personal decision!
DH does not like our DD (18 months) seeing him fully naked. I'm fine with that. I am ok being naked around her occasionally, but I am not one to be comfortable hanging around nude, so it's usually only when I'm changing, or sometimes she'll make DH bring her into the bathroom when I'm showering.
I'm curious how we'll both feel when DS arrives in August. I think it's important for kids to know the physical differences between girls and boys, but I think we'll be able to do that just with the occasional nakedness that occurs in daily life, and not go out of our way to overload them. DD does LOVE to be naked to the extent that she will throw a fit when I try to dress her (she's perfectly fine once the clothes are on, just doesn't like the naked-to-clothed transition). So I'm sure the siblings will learn a lot just by seeing each other.
I'm with Misslily that I'm grossed out when an adult sits naked on a piece of furniture (other than the bed).