Re: September Infants and Toddlers
posted at 9/4/2013 11:13 PM EDT
With toddlers I find that if you tell them what TO DO vs. what NOT to do it works better. So instead of saying 'no running' as they are about to go down the hallway, you say, OK, let's walk. Can you walk down the hallway? or even MORE fun, can you tiptoe down the hallway, and then you lead the way with dramatic tiptoeing. Keeps them focused on trying to do it, versus just disobeying. Because running pellmell shrieking at the top of your lungs is much more fun to do, I'l admit, but it wakes the babies up in the baby room, or sets the adults' teeth on edge!
so.. oh, you can't bang on the windows, you'll break them! Can you wipe them? Want a papertowel to wipe the windows? (you can also just spray some water and he can vigorously wash them - gets the movement he is seeking but in positive way.
if it's for attention, I'd ignore the banging adn walk away - he'll go to find out what you're doing in another part of the house.
for the hitting you too hard, I'd tell him 'no hitting, it hurts. use gentle touches, like this' and then take his hand and smooth it down your arm and say Nice, gentle, oh, I like that. And then lather, rinse, repeat 1000 times until he gets it. And if he hits you too hard after that, I'd put him down and say no hitting, it hurts. and walk the heck away from him. He'll get it. I'm not a fan of timeouts, honestly, at this age because it doesn't teach them what you want them TO DO.
and then, honestly, you need to understand that an 18 mo old toddler is just driven by his emotions and his desires - oh, look, a window, it's fun to bang! and shriek, hurrah! oh, wow, dog food, let's touch it! let's throw it! wow! they are also full of desires and just don't have the self control to control it. so if they wanna shriek, they do, if they wanna run and bang, they do .... he'll get more in control as he gets older and can do it.
toddlers are great, they are so much FUN but they are also very energetic and you do need to ride that wave to a certain extent - you can't take all the toddler out of them. But you can encourage quieter voices - oh, that's too loud inside, let's use your quiet inside voice.
then later when you go outside, say "okay, now you can use your loud outside voice, let's yell!" and then run around in the backyard and reallly whoop and yell and shriek together - he does need to do that because he cannot be in control all the time.