Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    I wasn't going to start a new thread for this, but I kept thinking of more questions!  Sorry this is so long.

    DD is 15 weeks old. She has been sleeping 7-8 hours straight for a while and for the past ~4 weeks she's been sleeping from roughly 8-6 (10 hours). I would say once a week for the past 3 weeks she has woken up in the middle of the night. I think it's because she has rolled to her stomach and can't go back. Last night she woke up at 1:30 and again at 3:00. I'm getting ahead of myself, but would really appreciate any input before this becomes a regular habit.

    I'm anxious about the fact that we're probably going to stop swaddling soon, so I feel like we need to have a plan of action for when she wakes up. My gut tells me it's not hunger related, so I don't want to get into the habit of a night feeding when she hasn't needed one in several weeks. Then again, that could change; she's a growing girl.

    I read through some recent sleep related threads. Based on those, my current idea is to have DH pick her up to see if she stops crying. If she stops crying, she probably isn't hungry. Once that is established, maybe we will put her down and let her cry. Weissbluth seems to suggest that it's OK to let her cry at this point. To be honest, I'm not finding HSHHC to be very clear, but one option he suggests is waiting an hour to see if she stops crying. (Easier said than done!!!) It wasn't clear to me what age range he was referring to though. I thought 15 weeks would be too early to CIO, but she has been such a good sleeper that it might not take long to go back to sleep.

    In the other threads, it also seemed like some LOs rolled to their stomachs around this age, but then stopped and the problem arose again months later.  Looks like this may be a short term problem, but since we need to stop swaddling I am anticipating more issues.

    I guess that begs the question, do we need to stop swaddling?? I feel like the swaddle will soon begin to inhibit her from rolling, etc. Any tips for pulling off the bandaid??

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    HSHHC is more clear than I thought.  My wonderful, smart friend just pointed out a page where Weissbluth mentions that you can start to let cry between 6-8 weeks and 4 months.  Is this different from CIO?  Is CIO more extreme or something?  Or am I just mistaken in thinking that it's too soon?
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    It sounds to me like you have a champion sleeper and no problems. I think you are borrowing trouble. Most people would cut off an arm for a 15-week (or month!) baby who sleeps for such long stretches.

    We swaddled for 6 months. Our daughter developed on schedule. I've never heard that swaddling inhibits development. You can do a one-armed swaddle or even an arms-free swaddle if you're concerned about her getting stuck.

    Your daughter might not have needed to feed at night but now does because she is going through a growth spurt. She might stop crying if picked up because she thinks she'll be fed. Sleep is hard work for babies -- it's when they do all their growing, and it uses up a lot of resources. A baby's stomach is the size of her fist, so she needs to refuel often. This is particularly true for breastfed babies because breastmilk is so efficiently digested.

    I am strongly in favor of sleep training, but personally I think that 15 weeks is still a really little baby who needs her mommy when she wakes at night. I wouldn't be able to stomach it. We did the Ferber method, and he says not to train before 6 months.

    If your daughter is rolling onto her stomach and getting stuck, don't leave her alone to cry. If she can't roll herself back off her stomach you should be there to help her.

     

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    I have to agree with Lemon, especially the part about it being *wonderful* that she does such good stretches!
    One distinction that was important to me was whether the baby was really crying or just making some noise.  Sometimes I think sort of a moaning/whining noise can be a way of releasing energy and relaxing.  I don't think I could tolerate actual crying of that tiny a baby for an hour, though!

    One thing in your post that I think is a good idea is to have your husband pick up and comfort the baby.  To my way of thinking, if the baby stops crying at that point, it could be because they think they will get fed (as Lemon mentioned) or it could be because they are soothed.
    If the baby goes back to sleep smoothly at that point (not crying) and *stays* asleep for a few hours, then I would guess it wasn't hunger and they just needed a little lovey-ness.  If they're back up again shortly after for no other discernable reason, then maybe they're hungry as you mentioned.
    Best of luck!  It's so hard to know what to do and everybody (me included!) has a ton of advice.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    My brain is obviously still processing all of the many possibilities (and worries), but maybe you're right. Maybe we got lucky with her sleeping so long already, but now she is back to needing a night feeding. Weissbluth (and others) talks so much about eliminating night feedings that I feel like it's a step backwards. However, he also says that a typical baby, even after 4 months, could still get up twice at night to eat. Now that I think about it, DD was on her stomach when I woke her up this morning (first time that has happened!), so maybe that isn't what caused her to cry last night.

    There are just SO many thoughts going through my head. Is she hungry? Am I going to create a bad habit? Is it the swaddle? Does she want to move more? Does she not want to be on her stomach? Does she want her thumb?

    Did anyone else swaddle their LO for a "long" time? (Not sure exactly what constitutes long, but only one of my close friends swaddled past the first two weeks, so 15 weeks seemed long to me, but I'm happy to keep doing it as long as she's happy.) I deleted the reference to developing from my OP because that was just a gut feeling I had that the swaddle would stop her from moving, etc. No backup for that. Although the nurse did ask me yesterday if we were still swaddling tightly as if we shouldn't be.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    15 weeks is definitely not a long time to swaddle.
    I know, it's so hard to know what to do and there is so much conflicting advice.
    It's easier said than done, but the best advice is Dr. Spock's: "Trust yourself.  You know more than you think you do."
    :)
    At 15 weeks, we were definitely still trying to figure out what she needed.  Heck, we still are at 10 months sometimes, but now that we've gotten to know each other it's easier!
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from purplecow89. Show purplecow89's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Give her a few minutes to see if she can settle down on her own, if not, then see if a brief contact without getting her out of bed or feeding will work.  At that age five or ten minutes of fussing won't hurt.  If she's truly too hungry to get back to sleep, you'll know.

    The whole CIO thing has been given a bad name by the people who go really extreme on it (you will know them by their war stories and smug looks) but if you take a sort of modified CIO approach--putting the kid down well fed and sleepy but not asleep, letting them fuss for a while on their own and figure out that the world will not end if Mom doesn't come running, etc. then it's not a bad idea.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from luckinlife. Show luckinlife's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Fram - a couple of ideas.  First DD is the queen of if I start doing something i.e. soothing -  she expects it more and more and it can be a disaster.  Time and time again we have seen this pattern.  So I understand your concerns.  When she wakes up at first in the night why don't you try feeding her. Then you know if she wakes up 1-2 hours later that she is not hungry and this could be a moment to try cio if you feel comfortable.

    Also, we did the one arm swaddle so that she could soothe herself with her hand.  I didn't feel comfortable trying to cio when she didn't have a way to soothe . We did one arm swaddle starting at 3 1/2 months and continued for quite awhile.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    I would say to not worry so much about the right or wrong way of doing things, and go with your instincts. Like medford said -- listen to the noises your baby is making, because you know her better than anyone. Does she sound hungry? Or is she just grousing and settling herself back to sleep? If you let her go a few minutes, does she calm down again, or does she escalate?

    I also think that having your husband go to her is a good idea because for one thing you need sleep and for another thing I think you're nursing, right? Babies can smell your milk, and once you get into range she might want to nurse if she didn't before.

    Try not to worry about creating bad habits because you can always fix them later -- we didn't sleep train until after a year (bad idea)! But once we did it was fine. Don't worry about what your friends are doing because they have different babies with different needs. And they might be wrong anyway.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from JMcW. Show JMcW's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Could it be a growth spurt? My DS was a great sleeper from about 14 weeks (7pm to 5am) but when he hit those growth spurts he'd wake up once a night to nurse. Lasted a couple weeks and then back to normal. We did the CIO at 12 weeks because he would not let us lay him down at night. He was super healthy and I was at my wits end. I think it depends in the situation whether CIO is okay for your baby and your family. Took 3 nights. Night one he cried (not horribly crying just whinning kind of cry) for 18 minutes. Okay, we both cried for 18 minutes. Second night it was 7 minutes and the 3rd it was 30 seconds. Never made a peep after that. He's 26 months and still sleeps like a champ.
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Thanks for the advice and for reading my ramblings :o)

    DH is convinced she wakes up because she doesn't like the swaddle anymore, but I think if she truly did not want to be swaddled, she wouldn't fall asleep for 5 hours and then freak out.  It might be time to start the one arm swaddle because she does like sucking her thumb.  (So cute!)

    How did you know it was time to stop swaddling?  Did you just decide because of the baby's age or was it very clear that your LOs were ready to do without it?  I think swaddling is the greatest invention ever, so I'm definitely not too worried about what my friends did!

    I've been thinking about it and I think Weissbluth's suggestion to let cry between 6-8 weeks and 4 months is more for collicky babies who truly need to sleep.  Either way, it's probably a little too early for DD, but she may need to cry soon-ish because she isn't too good about falling to sleep on her own.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    We stopped swaddling when our daughter started busting out of it.
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    If you daughter can roll you have to stop swaddling.  It's not safe for her to have her arms pinned in.  She can't roll back without her arms.  We used the swaddle me and wrapped the velcro with their arms out and then just switched to sleepsacks. So whatever swaddle you are using - try "swaddling" without putting her arms in.  She'll still feel secure, but she'll be able to use her arms to roll.  Then you can transition to sleepsacks etc.
    The CIO is a matter of parental choice.  We did it for our twins at 18 weeks.  If they cried I would sneak in the make sure they were ok (hopefully without being seen) and then just let them CIO. It took about 5 or 6 nights.  At 5 months we had babies who slept for 12 hours a night and had dropped the 10:00 dream feed.  (6 to 6 if I remember).
    Again - no swaddles with arms in for babies who can roll!!!
    Good luck. :)
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from stefani2. Show stefani2's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    i agree w/ misslily - i think once they are rolling you need to stop swaddling.  we stopped swaddling around 4 months - maybe 4.5? - and got rid of the pacifier at the same time - and did "CIO" - and it only took a couple of days and was NOT as bad as i expected at all.  my babies have woken up less than a handful of times in the middle of the night since then.  when they have woken and cried, we've tried feeding but oddly enough that's never been the problem!
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from JKFDais15. Show JKFDais15's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Fram you bring up so many good questions and so many that i have as well.. DS is 18 weeks.  He is a good sleeper sometimes but not nearly as good as your DD.  He has slept through the night like 9-5 or 8-4 or 9-6 4 times total in the last two months..  He has good nights and bad nights.. nights where he won't settle down till he eats and others where my DH (DS can smell milk on me) can just rock him and put him down.  DH always tries first if it's before 4am.. if it's 4 am or later I go in knowing he needs to eat.. then again last night he woke at midnight, reswaddled and put back down.. woke at 1.. ate, wouldn't go back down till 3!  then slept till 8:30 am!  I never know what i'm going to get.. sometimes i'm a walking zombie from no sleep and sometimes I'm GREAT!  He usually doesn't have a bad night though two nights in a row so for the most part I can't complain.. waking up just once a night isn't too bad.  He is also 17.3 lbs now so he's a big growing boy.  He totally busts out of his swaddle but he also still loves it and won't sleep without it, although after reading all this I think we really should start trying now.  He doesn't fully roll over, just goes side to side..  when he gets upset he stuffs his whole fists in his mouth and sometimes chokes on it too so I don't really want to unswaddle his hands yet but I guess we gotta start trying soon.. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    In Response to Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?:
    [QUOTE]If you daughter can roll you have to stop swaddling.   It's not safe for her to have her arms pinned in.  She can't roll back without her arms. 
    Posted by misslily[/QUOTE]

    That's a good point. By the time our daughter was rolling, she was muscular enough to break the swaddle, so that wasn't an issue for us.
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Medford and Lemon pretty much said everything I would have said, so ditto them.

    I also agree with Misslily - if she's rolling, you need to at least unswaddle her arms, even if you keep the snugness of the swaddle around her middle.

    Lastly, this kind of thing is a lot of trial and error.  Mostly feels like error.  But usually things eventually end up ok. :)  It becomes easier when you get to the point of not worrying as much about doing the right thing *immediately*.  You just try things and hope for the best.  And trust your instincts.


     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from GC1016. Show GC1016's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Personally, I think 15 weeks is too early to let her cry overnight.  DD still needed a night feeding (super-jealous re: the sleep you've had so far, BTW) and her need for food o/nite was inconsistent at that age, so to try to sleep train would have been inconsistent as well. 

    DD wasn't rolling at 15 weeks, so we didn't have to think about weaning from the swaddle that early.  She rolled over for the first time around 20 weeks, so we stopped swaddling around then.  And we weaned her off the night feeding at seven months.  I would probably try the one-arm swaddle ... then shouldn't you have a four-month appointment soon?  I'd talk this over with your pedi. 

    Also, have you tried the Woombie?  it's a zip-up swaddle.  DD liked it and she could move her arms around in it more than the Swaddle Me, so that might be a good bridge solution. 

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    GC - This is why we should only have 1 child; there's no way another one will sleep as well!  Only half kidding.

    Lemon - Did you use a blanket to swaddle or one of the various swaddling contraptions?  We mostly use the Summer cotton one-piece swaddlers.  I wonder if the velcro makes them harder to bust out of and thus harder for me and DH to get a clear message that she is all set with the swaddle.  Perhaps we should try a blanket for a few nights.

    We will definitely alter the swaddle situation one way or another - either leave one arm out, swaddle her more loosely, or switch to a blanket.  I certainly do not enjoy finding her face down in the morning!!  But isn't it common for them to not be able to roll back over at this age?
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from KT75. Show KT75's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Fram - DD was a super sleeper and somehow I lucked out and DS is even better - he sleeps 11 hour stretches and has for a few weeks now (he'll be 3 months next week).  So you can get lucky with your second too!
     
    DD never liked being swaddled so we did not have this issue but it is very common for them to be able to roll but not get back.  DD would roll during naps get stuck and get upset, it never happened during the night though.

    For the crying I would personally give her a minute to see if she'll settle back down.  During the day for naps I will give DS longer but during the night I am quicker to respond knowing that he more than likely needs something (typically he like to be tucked in but not swaddled).
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from jewelsagem. Show jewelsagem's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

      I certainly do not enjoy finding her face down in the morning!!  But isn't it common for them to not be able to roll back over at this age?
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    Fram - You're right, it's not common for them to be able to roll back over yet.  The thing is, if the baby doesn't have her arms, it's more difficult for her to prop her head up to breathe.  The danger is that if her arms are pinned she may not be able to lift her face away from the mattress for long, increasing the risk of suffocation.  I know it's harsh to hear but it's true.  If you're finding her face down swaddled, it's time to ditch the swaddle.  It's hard for a couple of nights, but you'll be amazed at how quickly she will adapt.  We started putting DD in a very cozy, thick one piece (granted it was the winter) when we got rid of the swaddle which helped make her feel secure.  You also may want to start by unswaddling for naps to see how it goes. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    In Response to Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?:
    [QUOTE]Lemon - Did you use a blanket to swaddle or one of the various swaddling contraptions?  We mostly use the Summer cotton one-piece swaddlers.  I wonder if the velcro makes them harder to bust out of and thus harder for me and DH to get a clear message that she is all set with the swaddle.  Perhaps we should try a blanket for a few nights.
    Posted by framerican51008[/QUOTE]

    We used the Ultimate flannel blanket in the winter and switched to the Aiden + Anais muslin blanket for summer. Our daughter liked a really tight swaddle with bunched legs and would bust right out of the velcro kind, Houdini-style. But she liked the blanket swaddle, so she stayed in it. And when she stopped liking it she fought her way out. Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly.

    You really can't go wrong with the A+A muslin blankets, by the way. Even if you don't use them for swaddling they make great car seat covers for parking in hot weather, stroller sun shades, picnic basket insect covers, etc. etc. They're awesome.

    The method we used was like this and works great in arms-free mode:






     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    DD didn't wake up Wednesday night, but last night she woke up at 1 am and 4 am.  At 1, we took one arm out of the swaddle and DH was able to soothe her within a couple minutes.  At 4, I went in (poor DH has a cold) and ended up feeding her.  She was calm when I put her down, but still awake after 20 mins, so DH went in to get her back to sleep. 

    We'll keep doing the one arm swaddle for now... If we find her face down, we'll ditch it alltogether.  Also going to make it a point to do more tummy time.  Her neck has always been super strong so we've done tummy time here and there, but now it's time to get it even stronger and work on upper body strength.

    We have the A&A blankets, but didn't like them when we tried them.  I am always willing to try things again though.  Parenting is all about experimentation!!  Otherwise, we have our one handy dandy super awesome swaddle blanket that I received for free from Baby Cafe.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from lemonmelon. Show lemonmelon's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    Your daughter might be fighting a cold too. That would cause sleep disturbances.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from SilverFestiva. Show SilverFestiva's posts

    Re: Too early to let cry? Time to stop swaddling?

    I stole a bunch of blankets from the hospital, and those are the best swaddle blankets for me. We do it the way lemon does - a square rather than a diamond. The A&A blankets I've managed to successfully swaddle her in a total of 5 times - otherwise they are too big and stretchy for me to be able to do it tight enough. But I agree they are good for other things - draping over the carseat to block the sun/still allowing air to flow. Plus they're perty.

    She will sleep well swaddled but when she wakes up she is able to get herself out of it most of the time. I am curious to see if she'll do OK just in a sleep sack; but I do'nt want to sacrifice the 5-6 hour stretches she's been doing lately! I usually don't swaddle her during the day, and she takes pretty short naps. When she takes longer naps, its b/c I gave in and swaddled her. 

    What do the non-swaddled babies wear to sleep over the summer? Is there still the no blanket rule? 


     

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