November Preschoolers

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    November Preschoolers

    Thought I'd start this; hope it's in the right place!

    How did everyone do with Halloween?  I cannot even believe how much DD enjoyed trick or treat.  She was excited at the concept but I thought she would balk at the reality.  She went right up the steps of the porches and said "Trick or Treat!!"  We went to the 4 houses closest to us and she wanted to do more.  Then she sat on the porch with DH and handed out all the candy, told everyone what types were available.  When there was a lull, she pointed her flashlight all around the neighborhood, calling, "trick or treaters!  Come here, trick or treaters!"  It was pretty sweet.

    Led to a big crash of crying when getting ready for bed - exhaustion, plus I think she uses up all her emotional energy.  Happened again last Saturday when we had a crazy day of going to lots of events, family at our house, et cetera.  She was amazing, even with family members she hasn't seen in a long time, but then getting ready for bed it's like she's emotionally spent.  That night she cried so hard she even threw up.  :(  I think it's an effort for her to be in some of these situations and then there's nothing left.  Anyone else experience this?

    Poppy, your poor DD!  I like CT's suggestion of setting an age - I think we're going to tell DD the food rules are going to change when it's her half birthday (3.5).  Right now we let her have crackers if she doesn't like what's for dinner, and I think we're going to restrict the alternative to something more like yogurt.  The crackers are just too unhealthy.

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from lissafro. Show lissafro's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    My kids loved handing out candy too.  We have a screened-in porch and we usually prop open the screen door (no landing on the top of the steps, don't want people to fall) and just hand out candy from the living room.  This year we had to put up a baby gate so the little one wouldn't escape.  She was taking handfuls of candy from the big bowl and throwing them over the gate onto the porch, laughing hysterically.  It's funny because she says very few words, only Mom, Da, big sister's name, up, no, yes, etc.  At this age big sister was speaking in little sentences, very clearly.  This one sounds like scooby do all the time.  Anyway, so in the middle of the hysterical throwing of candy she started yelling "MEEEK DUHS MEEK DUHS!" Apparently we can add "milk duds" to the short list of words she can say haha.  Trick or treating was fun, we beat the rainy weather and everyone made it back without any tears or tantrums.


    Of course, DD1 is already discussing what costume she's going to have next year.  I remember doing that when I was little, brainstorming next year's costume with my siblings while trick or treating haha.

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    OK, OK, I'm getting cauliflower pressure - guess I'll have to try it (with an open mind and an open heart).

     

    grrr... and if you guys are right, I'll, I'll, well, I'll have to admit it!  double grrrr!

    On our 2nd date with my now-husband I had to admit that pineapple isn't horribly sour and yucky!  I had always thought it was and that I didn't like it - since when I was like 3 yrs old I didn't like it....  LOL, I'd literally always stayed away from it because "I didn't like it" So I tried it and found that, um, no, it's sweet and I do like it!  I now have to remind myself when confronted by a plate of fresh fruit that yes, stupid, you do like pineapple, take some! 

    Foot in Mouth

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from framerican51008. Show framerican51008's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Hi Everyone, It's been a while!  Either I don't have time to check in or when I do type up a nice long reply, I can't post it.  Fun!

    DD is 2 yrs 8 mos now.  We went trick or treating for the first time, to about 10 houses.  She clung to me for dear life at the first 2 houses, but then she was fine and said trick or treat and thank you.  For about 2 days, she was obsessed with dumping out the candy and putting it back in, but she didn't really ask to eat it, so that was good.

    Haven't really gone for potty training yet.  About half the time I ask/tell her to sit on the potty, she cries.  It's tough to figure out if I give her more time or at some point force the issue because I know best?  She usually pees on the potty before bed, and I know they have her try at daycare.  I need to start regularly having her sit on it at certain times of day - after breakfast and lunch and before bed perhaps?  I put training pants on her the past 2 weekends (just for a few hours), mostly just to see how it would go.  The first day was great, but the other 2 days she did #2 almost immediately.  Fun!


    The cauliflower debate is too funny.  I very rarely ate it as a kid, but when I was dieting back in the day, I noticed they sell a frozen cauli and broc in a mixed bag and figured I'd diversify.  It's one of a few veggies that DD eats regularly.  Last night she was helping me chop red and green peppers and kept eating the red ones, so I got her all excited to have some raw for lunch today.  I'd be thrilled if it became something I could pack for lunch regularly.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from rama8677. Show rama8677's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Happy November, all! 

    My DD1 has also been having some crazy emotional highs and lows lately.  It seems like she's either wonderful, loving, sweet and able to play nicely by herself at home, or she is screaming, taking toys from little sister, knocking little sister over or just whiney and cranky and unable to keep herself entertained.  I called her preschool/daycare and they said her behavior there is great. So I think i may be similar to what you described above, Med, where my DD is so well behaved out of the house that when she gets home she needs to release all of her pent up emotinos and feelings.  She also gets very upset when she can't do something (like put on her shoes) or when we tell her she needs to apologize for soemthing.  I think she feels embarrassed, frustrated and/or angry and doesn't know how to handle herself so she freaks out. She seems to respond better to us when we don't yell but sometimes it's hard! Anyone else's 3-4 y/o go through a similar stage? Any tips on teaching her to handle her emotions?  (We constantly tell her to take a deep breath, count to ten, etc. but doesn't seem to work too well).   She doesn't use a paci or have any kind of lovey and I think she simply doesn't know how to self sooth too well when she is dealing with strong emotions.

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers


    Fra - I wouldn't push the training if she cries when sitting on the potty. She'll do it when she's ready and not before.

    Take it from a mom of twins - one who trained at 26 months (in 2 weeks) and the other at 36 months (in 4 days). I had so many battles with DS between the time his sister trained and he was finally ready. It was a total waste of time and I wish I hadn't tried to "push" the issue. When he was ready, he did it so quickly.

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    misslily,

    how did the teacher conference go?

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Rama - you are describing my DD to a tee. I figured it was just the age (3). We are dealing with it as best we can but I confess I often wonder where my sweet little girl went. She's really unpleasant a lot of the time, so I try to soak up those sweet moments when they (rarely) occur these days. I'm hoping it's just a phase. I have known kids of friends who were like this at 3, then at 4/5 magically became these mature little people. 

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Rama-I read an article about how smart girls, get more frustrated when they can't "get/do" something right away and often give up. How we treat smart girls differently than boys...boys we teach them how to slow down, focus and try and then they can do anything-those smart little girls who can focus at a younger age often don't get that encouragement because they don't need it-they have that skill. It was definitely an interesting read. I wonder if your DD is getting frustrated because everything else has come easy to her before? With DS who definitely get's frustrated, we slow the train down with him, deep breath, talk about the problem, and talk about how to approach it and what might work and what won't work to address the problem-emotions removed. Not to say this works perfectly every time, but it has helped him. At 3-4 kiddos are definitely more indpendent, and they're used to having their hand held to do lots of things and we as parents let them branch out and try new things as they get older-they get frustrated as they have to develop the skills to analyze the problem and how to handle it. We constantly had to remind ourselves that DS was (and is) still so little!

    When DS used to have bad days/moments (aka total meltdowns, need a time out/corrective action) he is stubborn enough that he digs his heals in more and braces for DH and I to be upset for a while which means he doesn't listen and acted out more...which is a horrible cycle. I found that when I say to him "DS, Mommy is upset because you did XYZ, because you could have gotten hurt (or the reason why I'm upset), but I think we should start over!" And I would drop the issue with him, fresh start (soooo hard sometimes!). Once he knew I meant it, that I wouldn't keep bringing up "first you threw your cup of juice, then you kicked your sister, NOW this?" he would allow himself to listen better. When we know our boss is in a bad mood and likely to over react, we are more prone to making mistakes. Thankfully when he aged into 4 years old more these moments were less and less. Though he did just have a few bad days-and I forgot to do this, I realized I was yelling and he was acting out. Driving home one night I recommended we do a challenge (explained what a challenge is) and my challenge was not to get upset, his challenge was to be a super listener. Thankfully that broke the cycle!

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Rama and Poppy - yes and also, YES.  Okay, this is actually making me feel better, knowing this is a shared experience.  I spend a lot of time wondering if I'm doing something wrong, not being consistent with discipline, if something is emotionally awry with DD, et cetera.

    I feel like she's the girl with the curl... sometimes so great and sometimes so horrid.  She is doing a lot more whining for things we limit (TV, computer, candy) and complaining and talking back when we say no.  Yesterday we went on a family walk in the woods and on the way back to the car she asked if we could stop at the grocery store for a muffin.  We said no, not today.  She kept asking, we said no a few more times, she kept at it, and we gently but firmly said that the answer was no and that we weren't going to answer that question any more.  But she kept asking and then when we didn't answer she escalated into screaming that we weren't listening to her and we weren't answering her and she wanted a muffin and so on.  Screamed and cried the whole way to the car, the whole way home into the house.  It was so rotten.  I tried to get her to calm down in the car but she just wouldn't or couldn't.  I think she was probably tired and hungry and cold.  But I feel like I don't know how to help her calm herself down.  All the old things are not working any more.

    Sometimes after the actual anger is past, she'll cry that she can't stop crying and I can see that she physically can't, and then I can help her with a drink of water and reading a book.  But I don't know how to help her to help herself.

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    KAM - was writing at the same time as you.  I think you are on to something.  One thing DD does lately is a lot of "I can't do it", with lots of drama and woe-is-me.  Sometimes without even trying it.  This is something that really pushes my buttons, this defeatist attitude.  I have to try *really* hard to be patient when she is doing that, try to remember that she's only 3 and it's probably really frustrating to not be able to do things you want to do.  Especially since she wants to be 35.

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Here's the article http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-success/201101/the-trouble-bright-girls 

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Thanks, KAM! This sounds like great advice. I especially love the idea of a do-over. I think I'll start teaching DD that starting tonight. I am alone with the kids for dinner and bed tonight, and I hate that I'm dreading it. I dread any time I am alone with them, because I don't know what to do when she has a fit. She gets very physical; she'll hit me or DS or will throw things, and when I'm dealing with/holding him, I can't physically hold her too. I haven't found a good way to physically deal with her until she can calm herself down enough. I could put DS in his high chair or in his crib, but then he's screaming too. If I just let him go, he'll climb something and get hurt. This is definitley the most challenging time we've had as parents, worse than the newborn stages. At least when DH and I are both home we can sort of joke about it and then at least we feel better. When I'm on my own I find myself sometimes saying things I regret later because she pushes my buttons so effectively. Yesterday we had some friends over and after they left she was throwing her toys around the yard, "I just want to THROW THINGS!!" She's like a little wild animal.

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from misslily. Show misslily's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    The conference went okay. DD got a great report - they basically have no problem with her. She's a "limit tester" but behaves almost all time. They think she's quite bright and doing well with her hearing aids and the FM system.


    They did tell me that they have seen great improvement in DS. He has a hard time with transitions from one activity to another and can be quite stubborn. So they give him extra warnings before requiring him to change to the next thing on the schedule. They also gave him his own schedule. It has pictures of each activity attached to a bar with velcro. When he completes something (circle time, snack, partners time etc.) he moves that picture down to the "completed" area on another velcro bar. He likes having some control so it's helpful. He wasn't paying attention at circle time - lying on the floor or walking away - so they gave him a checklist and he's the "circle assistant". He checks off each activity as they do it. (sing a song, teacher reads a story, show and tell etc.).

    The teacher also gave me her program of managing his behavior. She asks him to do something, and if he doesn't comply she says, "DS the direction is...(to clean up snack). That's one." She waits ten seconds and repeats with "that's two". If he doesn't comply on the third request he has to take a break (time out) in the chair next to her desk. So se're using it at home too so we can be consistant.

    I went on friday to be library mom and the assistant came out and said I couldn't go in because he wouldn't take the break and she didn't want me to disrupt the process. He had already missed playground and "smart board time". I was sad because I had promised him I'd be there. So she went back and told him I was there, but couldn't come in unless he took his break. Of course he did it right away.

    I had mentioned that once I had asked him if he had "taken a break" at school or if he had a good day. She told me "NO, NO you must not equate the take a break with mis behaving" (okay - guess I'm a bad/stupid mom).

    When I got into the room to do library he ran over and I picked him up to give him a hug. There she was saying "no, no, we keep our feet on the floor in Preschool One." (okay - bad mommy strike two).

    I think in the end she's probably a great teacher and her rules will be helpful. And that's what's important. But I just really bristle at her style. She seems to have the unique ability to make me feel bad almost every time we communicate.

    Sorry this is so long - feels good to get it off my chest a little!

    And to Poppy and others - hang in there! I have had to deal with mine alone when DH was teaching nights last year. It's really hard! We've had meltdowns in the car that ruined outings and everything else that has been mentioned here. You're not alone!!!

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from KMMZ1012. Show KMMZ1012's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Miss Lily - she does sound like a good teacher, but it's pretty passive aggressive of her to say something like that about the feet on the floor. I get that she probably doesn't want to carry kids around all day, but honestly - that rubbed me the wrong way from your story and I wasn't even there. It's great that you're adapting at home with some of her rules, but if any of it doesn't feel natural for you, go with your own style.

    Last year in DS's preschool class, his teacher would make him go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet every time he used "potty" words (p00p, etc). So he has equated sitting on the toilet with punishment. Which is a large part, I'm sure, of why he will not p00p on the toilet at all. Has to be a pull up. We make him sit, but he throws a fit about it every time. No bribe works, not even dangling a visit with my cousin whom he adores and pretends to talk to all day long. We tried the same method at home when he was using potty words and I have to say, it made me uncomfortable. So we stopped and found other ways to curb the language. I wish, in hindsight, that I had said something to his teacher and asked her to stop as well, but I didn't want to step on her toes and come across as one of "those" parents. Now I'm paying for it.

    His teacher this year communicates so much better with us. And with DS. She knows when to give him space, when to reign him in, and because she's known him since he was in the toddler rooms, she knows exactly what kind of things can motivate him to behave better.

    As the daughter of teachers, I'm always wary of overstepping my bounds because I saw what overbearing parents did to *my* parents (my mother once got an 11 PM phone call from a parent who was annoyed about something that my mom had written on a kid's worksheet, for one example. Others are not so mild). But in the end, you're the best advocate for your kid. I've gotten more comfortable making myself heard and my concerns expressed without being pushy and witchy about it.

    Also, I know you know this, but you're not bad or stupid or anything else. You're a mom who loves her kid, who wants to be involved in her kid's education. Considering what I see from some of the parents at my kid's school, she should be thanking her lucky stars you're interested in what goes on there. If her style of communication is that off-putting, you may need to sit down with her and discuss it. And if she's not willing to listen to you, bring it to the director.

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Medford- car tantrums are the worst! Last week I had to take the kids down to Rhode Island to pick something up (about 40 minute car ride each way). As I am locking up the house, DD says she wants Little Puppy (her favorite stuffed toy). I make the decision that since the door is locked, we aren't bringing Little Puppy. DD starts crying. I get her and DS in the car, start the trip. DD is still crying, and now she is having a full out tantrum. I get on the highway, and she has been crying so loud and so long, now DS is crying too! It went on for about 10 minutes before she could start bringing herself under control, but it seemed to me like hours.... But I had made up my mind and I didn't want to start down that path of "If I tantrum enough, Mom will change her mind" It isn't easy though! 

     

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from KAM2007. Show KAM2007's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Poppy-those nights that DH is out I let the kids know it's a different routine, even if it's mildly different, and try and make them each feel they get a "treat/surprise." Like DS you get to brush your teeth first tonight and while I put DD to bed you get to read a book in bed and wait for me!" Woo Hoo! It's all about the presentation with DS-if I wisper it so it's just between the two of us he loves it. Even when the new routine isn't really a "treat." But I remember the age when DD was semi mobile, new walker/crawler-that age when you just can't trust them no matter how childproof the area is-the hardest time as a parent (okay one of them). Those melt downs from DS were the worst! I felt rendered totally helpless sometimes.

    I hate when I get those meltdowns at daycare drop off. Those days when DS just needs extra, and I still have DD with me...oye! Today I had to bargain with him, to let me leave and drop DD off and I would be back to give him a big hug. Apparently the kid was waiting (in tears) at the window to make sure I didn't forget. (DD's room is on the same wing as his, only two rooms away so he can see me leave after I drop her...) Broke my heart to see the tears in his eyes.

    It's great she could verbalize the need to throw things outside!

    Mislilly-isn't taking a break supposed to stop the "bad behavior"? And why is it so wrong to connect the behavior with the adult response? Guess my kids will need lots of therapy to get over knowing that I was upset and corrected bad behavior...?

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from cwagner13. Show cwagner13's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    KAM - we now always do that second goodbye for our 3 year old son (it is so much easier to drop him off first then the toddler) - because he always wants that hug from me without DD around before I leave, and it was too complicated to try to soothe him while trying to keep DD from kicking him away. So we finally worked out a deal that I will always come back for those few minutes he can have me all to himself for the goodbye. He has sat at the table before in tears, waiting for me a few times when it takes me a little longer to drop off DD or when something upset him earlier, so I never skip it, no matter how cheerful he seems when I leave to drop off DD and DH knows too never to skip that either.


    For DS, we do that reflection technique back so he knows we know why he is so upset, and that usually works unless DS is hungry - if he is hungry, he gets soo unreasonable and the littlest thing sets him off, and usually we have to shove a pouch or something quick into his mouth and wait until he has eaten something, then we can work through his tears.

    But I am dreading DD hitting that age of tantrums because I can tell she is going to really be much more stubborn than DS and she already is much more aggressive about what she wants, and when she wants something. And I have no idea how well our techniques with DS is going to work on her.

    DS is such a backseat driver, it is hilarious. He tells DH when to use the blinker, gets upset if DH takes the wrong route, asks us what road we are on all the time, and where does it go and so on.

     

     
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    Re: November Preschoolers

    Cwag - DD is turning into a little backseat driver too.  She already controlled the radio and now she wants to control the car too!  Just kidding, but her new thing is saying, "I want to go that way."  9 times out of 10 she points the way we would have gone anyway.  As for the radio, she often makes request for "a good song" or the Mickey song.  I like to listen to books on CD, so luckily I have started to be able to bargain with her and say it's my turn for a few minutes and then I'll let her listen to music.

    BTW "good song" translates to my having to sing "I Don't Care" to her before bed at night.  She knows every word!  Needless to say that one slipped in there before I realized I had to start censoring the radio.

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from medfordcc. Show medfordcc's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Misslily, she probably is great with the kids but unfortunately not great with parents.  :(  I'm sorry she made you feel rotten.  The hug thing is especially annoying.  Try not to let her make you feel bad - you're a really caring parent.

    KMMZ - I don't like that punishment at all.  It sounds sort of excessively punitive and shaming.  Did the director okay that?  I might bring it up...

    cwag, the reflection technique worked for us when DD was younger but now she's not having any of it!  I really don't know what to do, and as a result I feel like I'm trying a lot of different things and end up being inconsistent.

    Just not sure how to help her manage her emotions... I'm willing to help, but of course I can't give in, as amy-lynn said!  I was trying to ignore her and remove the attention and wait it out, which makes her even more upset, but lately there have been a few where she's gotten so worked up she physically can't stop and she eventually ends up screaming, "help! help! I can't stop!" and I think she really can't.  Oy.  But I'm really appreciative of all the commiseration I'm finding on here!  :)  Poppy, how was last night??

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from amy-lynn. Show amy-lynn's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Medford - What we do when DD is tantruming and not in the car, is to get down so we are face to face and try to get her to do deep breaths with us. I start by blowing my big breath out into her ear so it tickles a little. I keep doing exaggerated big breaths until she starts doing them with me. I also use that time to do the reflection thing "I know you're upset because I said we can't bring Little Puppy with us, but let's take a big breath and try to stop crying" etc. Also acknowledging that it can be scary when you get crying so hard that it is hard to stop can help too. 

    Once the big crying is slowed down or stopped, I sometimes ask her what she is feeling most - "I know you are sad and mad because you can't bring Little Puppy - are you more sad or more mad?" It helps her figure out her emotions a little, and also gives me an idea of what to offer as a solution - If she is sad because Little Puppy will miss her, that is a different solution than if shes mad because Mommy is mean for not turning around the car to get Little Puppy.

     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from CT-DC. Show CT-DC's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Lily,

    The picking up to hug thing was out of bounds - I'd have given her a HUGE glare.  You may pick your child up to hug him any DARN time.  No, he may not stand on the tables,  chairs, sit on the cubbies, etc, but he can be picked up for a hug.  Period. End of discussion. 


    Now, in terms of asking "did you have to take a break or did you have a good day?"  I'd agree with her.  Not, perhaps, the way she said it, but the concept.  See, his taking a break doesn't mean he had a bad day - it means he wasn't listening at one point in the day, so he had a consequence. And that was handled at school.   But then he might have done great work the rest of the day. Or not.  But either way, taking a break is a consequence of one thing he did wrong, but it doesn't condemn his day to be bad.  And as he gets older, we don't want him to think of it this way:   if he takes a break first thing in the morning (because he wasn't listening), and that means he's now had "a bad day" then he might as well just go balls to the wall and disobey all day.  And you don't want that.  So if we set it up as an either or "took a break OR had a good day" then they know that the opposite of good day is bad day, so break = bad day. 

    Frankly, having to "take a break" is a good technique for him eventually to learn to do for himself - "I'm not listening, perhaps I am out of control and need to take a break, then I can return to the stuff I was doing."  We all take breaks sometimes - like when we are frustrated with our child/spouse/co-worker and we leave the room for a few minutes to regroup before coming back and finishing the discussion. 


    And being consistent is great between home and school.for the 1, 2, take a break thing, great!

    I also think that the teacher was right to say you couldn't enter right that minute because he wasn't taking his break, BUT I also think it was great that she told him you were there for library time, but couldn't come in until he took his break.  That way he got a choice: behave and Mom comes in; choose to disobey, no Mom.  He made the best choice for him (and you) and that's great! 

    And, believe me, many teachers get really nervous speaking with parents.  One of my best teachers is always nervous talking to parents and yet she's great at it, and the parents all trust her. But still, it's really hard for her! Some teachers aren't comfortable knowing what to call parents (Ms. Brown?  Mrs. Brown?  Sally?) so they end up saying "Mom, here you go" or "Child's Name, go tell your Mom that...."  they just feel more comfortable with children (which is why they chose to work with children) and less so with adults.  So I'd ignore some of the 'way she says things' and try (it's hard, I know) to hear it as information but NOT that she is saying you're a bad mother.  You're not, she doesn't think that, and she's just trying to communicate.  But again, you can lift your darn kids' feet of the floor for a hug, sheesh!

    You know your son's behavior is harder to work with, and I'm glad you have some concrete steps for you and your husband to try.  How is he doing with working with the FM receiver? And do they keep their hearing aids in now that they are older?  The only thing I'm concerned about in your story is that he missed playground time.  For a child like him, I think getting outside for playground is 4000 times more important than for many other children because he's active, and probably when he's been inside for too long, or had to sit for too long, he gets stir crazy.  And stir crazy = poor impulse control, which leads to.... breaks for not listening.


    I LOVE the helper during story time thing, that he checks things off... so cool - which also works on lots of skills:  pre-reading, learning to focus, helping him to sit still, getting attention for positive things vs. negative (you get lots of attention every time you are told to "sit up please" even though that's negative attention).  And having his own velcro schedule is great, too.  The teacher is doing lots of creative things, out of the box solutions, love it! 

     

    If you have a hard time with him following a schedule at home, you might try it, such as:    potty; get dressed; breakfast; brush hair & teeth; potty; into car. And another for the night time routine. You could have a checklist (one item on each line, so it reads down) on a little clipboard and he marks the box next to the picture of the thing after he does it with a marker. Once he's done with the checklist, you throw it out and the next morning he starts with a clean list.   I've done this for kids, (keep it simple, only 4 things on the list at the beginning) so it's not me haunting, reminding, hounding and making them (and me, I'll admit) frustrated with all the reminders.  When you have to remind, remind, remind, the child feels hounded and usually resists, fights, cries, and argues.  But if it's the LIST that won't allow the child to do X because Y wasn't done, then it is less frustrating.  The list also keeps a child focused on 'what's next' versus getting off purpose and starting to play, wander about, etc.

    As an aside to all parents, not directed at Miss Lily:  stop SITTING your child on the TOP of the cubbies!  I get you want to put their shoes or boots on, but please, have them sit in a chair. Kids climb those cubbies all day when they are allowed to do it sometimes. Yes, you'll have to bend over or scooch down but them's the breaks :)  And don't sit on the tables yourselves, please - we spend all day trying to keep the kids sitting in chairs, "chairs are for sitting, tables are for working" then parents come in and sit on the tables.  SIGH. So that's some of the "feet stay on the floor in preschool" rule that she said. 

     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Of course, she was inexplicably an angel the night my DH was out. It's that girl with a curl, as you said Medford... you just never know who you're gonna get!

    DH just sent me an email with his January schedule. He's away about 3/4 of the month. Pass the wine... (Yes, I said WINE, not WHINE!)

     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: November Preschoolers

    Misslily, I think KMMZ hit the nail on the head for why you always feel bad after exchanges with this teacher.  she is a classic passive aggressive communicator, and while they defend their behavior as "nice," the concealed (passive) bottom line is that they intend to put others down to build themselves up.  She may have great skills, talent, and education, even a good track record with kids, BUT her self esteem is awful - the worse you feel about yourself around her the better at her job she seems...at least that's the idea.  But, it really doesn't work for her and is very hurtful to everyone around her.  Knowing this, maybe you can brace yourself against letting the tactic work and not internalize her the negative vibe she craves for others to feel around her....like she is superior and everyone else is dumber and less capable with kids than she is.  Classic PA behavior.

     
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    Re: November Preschoolers

    Misslily - didn't have a chance to read all the posts. Not trying to make excuses for her, but her behavior sort of sounds like how I can sometimes sound with my mother or MIL when I've been trying and trying to get DD to learn something, some sort of rule, and then a grandmother steps foot in the house and undoes all my hard work with just a few words. They don't KNOW I've been working so hard on something, so it's not their fault and don't deserve to be snapped at, but it is so incredibly frustrating that all my work is out the window that I snap without realizing or thinking about how it comes out. Perhaps that's where she's coming from. Not that I think it's right, mind you. You should certainly be able to pick up your child and hug him! And it's not a good form of communicating, especially teacher-to-parent. 

     

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