Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from Krystabel. Show Krystabel's posts

    Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    I posted this on the July - Preg board, but thought I'd start a new thread hoping for more advice/input.  

    We recently decided that my DH will be staying at home with our baby (due early Sept) days and going back to school nights.  Does anyone know of any Dad's groups - or "Mom's" Groups/Play groups that would accept Dads? ... Preferably in the Burlington/Lexington/Bedford/Concord area?

    Does anyone else have this kind of arrangement where their DH stays home?  How does it work out? Does anyone have advice from either SAH moms or dads about what to do, suggested routines? I am not sure I knwo the questions to ask, but I'd value any input!

    I'll be home for 12 weeks and then returning back to work FT.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    My husband is home with DD three days a week. It's been a good arrangement, and it is helpful for him to meet other dads (he has a dad's playgroup on Wednesdays but it's in Amesbury).

    It works out well, but you really have to define that it's about taking care of the baby. It's easy to come home and the dishes are still in the sink and you can't help but think "what the *(& did you do all day?" You need to sit down and define expectations about child care vs. housekeeping and other household chores (for me, he just has to has to make dinner even if it's peanut butter sandwiches).

    Also, on his time it's his rules, and his wardrobe choices for baby. Starting when you are home on leave, you have to let him do his thing and even if it isn't the way you would do it, you have to keep your mouth shut and build up his confidence level with baby.

    It's so great one of you can stay home. If my husband was a work outside the home parents, I don't think I could have kept my job for all the stress and balancing that is required.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from JKFDais15. Show JKFDais15's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    My DH is home with our DS this summer.  I was on maternity leave for 13 weeks.. then we had a two week transition period until he was off for the summer (he is a college professor) where we used our moms and I worked from home a few days and now he's home for the summer.  He taught a summer class for 5 weeks too where I worked from home one day and his mom came up one day..  it's going great.  he does a great job with him and I'm still working from home one day a week too so I get that one day.  we aren't starting official daycare until the last week of August.  he's not part of any groups right now but there is a bedford family connection group in town.. it's for moms, dads, families..  you might want to check it out. 

    for some reason men don't seem to multi task as well as women so don't get discouraged if he can't do laundry and cleaning while also home with your little one.  save the laundry and big cleanings for weekends and just be prepared to do a quick pick up of the house when you get home and a washing of bottles!  :-) 

    good luck!  it's so great when you and your DH each get to spend some really good time with your little one when they are so young.. not many parents get to do this.  I'm envious of his summers off already when i look forward to the years ahead of us.  I guess that is what vacations are for and hopefully i can continue working from home one day a week! 
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from JKFDais15. Show JKFDais15's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    oh and here is the link.. it's something like $25/year i think.. and they have playgroups and stuff at the church up by the common. 

    http://www.bfctoday.com/
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from merilisa. Show merilisa's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    He might enjoy the "A Time for Dads" class at Isis, which is specifically for Dads, and the Watertown Family network isn't too far away, and has a lot of impressive offerings. 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    I was also just going to mention Isis.  There are a lot of great classes and drop-ins there.  I think the only one where they specifically don't allow men is the breastfeeding drop-in.  I think all of the other classes are for any parent/caregiver.  Not only would he meet other parents (although not necessarily Dads), he would learn stuff about newborns which might make him feel empowered.
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from momofatoddler. Show momofatoddler's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    My husband has stayed home with both of our daughters at different stages of their lives (some was planned, some was due to a lay-off). I'd reiterate that being home with the baby all day doesn't leave much time for housekeeping, so be clear about expectations.  DH usually cooks and does the dishes, but I do the laundry, wash the pump/bottles and do light cleaning. We have a cleaning person for deep cleaning once a month.

    When i went back to work after my first daughter, my husband stayed home for a couple of weeks.  As I was headed back to work, he asked me how I put her down for naps. I said, "This is what I do. But i don't think it is great.  I am sure you will figure out something that is even better." That comment kind of summed up our roles as equal parents.

    By the way, you should also keep in mind that your husband will need non-child related outlets on nights/weekends. 
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from Krystabel. Show Krystabel's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    Thank you for the really good feedback everyone!  I appreciate the advice about managing expectations.  My Husband has been saying that he will do all sorts of stuff around the house and I have said that is probably over estimating how much you can get done with a baby so it is a good conversation to have!

    I am really happy that one of us will be with the baby and we can stave off day-care for a while at least.

    Thank you again!
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from paul0. Show paul0's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    "It's easy to come home and the dishes are still in the sink and you can't help but think "what the *(& did you do all day?" You need to sit down and define expectations about child care vs. housekeeping and other household chores (for me, he just has to has to make dinner even if it's peanut butter sandwiches)."

    "for some reason men don't seem to multi task as well as women so don't get discouraged if he can't do laundry and cleaning while also home with your little one.  save the laundry and big cleanings for weekends and just be prepared to do a quick pick up of the house when you get home and a washing of bottles! "

    You two ladies need to think about what you post and how it would sound if you were saying it about women.  It would sound more than a little sexist and condescending.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ml2620-2. Show ml2620-2's posts

    Re: Dad's Groups/ Stay at home dads - input from stay at home moms too

    Paul, defining expectations is a two way street, not a dictation of my terms.
     

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