January TTC

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    It's totally a mystery.  That's why I'm so against making big concessions in important plans that are "9 months from now" or putting things off (like overseas vacations, mountain climbing trips, etc) because "I might be pregnant at that time."  Live your life to the fullest while you're TTC.  It might be a long haul, and you don't want to look back and wonder why you put off living.  And, if you do get pregnant right out of the gate, make or change your plans accordingly at that time.
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from MissWolff. Show MissWolff's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Excellent advice Kar.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Chiclet831. Show Chiclet831's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I just need to vent for a second...

    The 2WW is driving me crazy! Every single cramp, pain, pimple, etc has me on edge. AF isn't technically due until Monday-ish. I want to test SO bad, but I'm trying to talk myself out of it. If it's positive, great, but if it's negative, I'm just going to think it's too early and that it could be positive, so that won't help. What's worse is that we're going away for the weekend for one of our friend's "last night out" before his wife delivers their daughter next month. Crazy drinking night meets too early to tell if I'm pregnant! I'm planning on telling everyone that I'm on antibiotics.

    Okay, vent over. Thanks for listening! :-)
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from poppy609. Show poppy609's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Chicklet - you don't have to worry about drinking right now - there is no transference to possible bambino yet.  Obviously it is a very personal decision when you know you're in the 2WW, but I drank for an entire week straight the week before I got my bfp (we were in Cancun) and the doctor said not to worry.  It might help to have a drink or two this weekend!  :)
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Sorry Chiclet!  It is rough--vent away! I wish I could figure out a way to mentally unfocus on this but it is incredibly hard, and like you say there are many things tied into the uncertainty that make it impossible to ignore (e.g. drinking at that party).  I'm playing the waiting game now too.

    Kar has good advice about not obsessing, but I wish I could figure out how to take it to heart!  Don't worry though kar, I've got a ski trip planned next month that will definitely be my silver lining if I get a BFN this time around.  I will be shredding the slopes, unwinding with a little booze, and then soaking in that outdoor hot tub. gotta have something to look forward to, right? 
     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from cicirose. Show cicirose's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Chiclet - If you choose, I believe the expression is "drink til it's pink"... Maybe you don't need to binge drink but it seems that no one really worries about having a couple before you are even late for your period.

    Funny enough though, I had a glass of champagne on NYE and it tasted terrible to me when normally I can't get enough. That's what prompted me to test so early the next day.

    Siena - Have fun on your trip! But hopefully you will not be able to enjoy the hot tub and booze :)
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    siena, I know my advice can't be taken to heart and truly believed just because you want to - I didn't expect anyone could because it has to come to you when it comes to you.  But, before you feel it, you can act on it and just force yourself to make and keep plans regardless of TTC so you'll have no regrets.  Enjoy your trip!!

    I'm only "there" because (not to sound matronly) having just turned 40 I've turned a corner in my perspective.  I don't think you can "get there" by reading and seeing the value in good advice, you just have to get there on your own...like I did.

    Chicklet, regarding alcohol during the 2ww, the prevailing wisdom has been "drink 'til it's pink."  However, there is new research that is casting doubt on this.  This is a representative study that even suggests that the father's drinking can impact early m/c rate due to chromosomal problems in sperm.  I'm not suggesting anything personally, and I drink regardless because I don't think I'm gong to get pregnant, anyway, and I enjoy it.  There's no way I'm going to abstain from now until menopause on the off chance I'd get pregnant, but that's not advice in any way, shape, or form.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I can see where alcohol may have an impact on sperm, but I can't see where it would have an impact on eggs.  Women are born w/ all their eggs; men produce sperm throughout their life.  I really don't see how alcohol consumption during that 2ww is going to impact an egg more than all the drinking the woman did during her entire life till that point.  You probably don't want to go on a bender, but having a glass of wine or 2, or a few gin and tonics should not, for the average gal, result in any mishap if she is in fact pg.  Are we really supposed to believe that a moderate amount of alcohol has THAT much of an impact on one egg during a very small window of time?  I can see where more than moderate drinking could impact sperm b/c it takes 70 days to produce it, so being exposed to more than a few drinks here and there, yeah, I can believe that could impact it, but eggs are present from birth. You have an entire lifetime of those eggs being exposed to alcohol, so I find it hard to believe that so much can happen to an egg in 2 weeks when there is no mother/fetus exchange.

    Kar, I'm not pooh-poohing you. I'm pooh-poohing that study.  Of course, I'm not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV. However, that study sounds ridiculous.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I think it said that less than 10 drinks a week during the 2ww, like you said, didn't impact the m/c rate...  Also, that's not the only study suggesting the same thing.  I have friends who were made aware of the connection by her OB when they were TTC.

    siena, you can go on your ski trip even if you get a BFP.  Just don't get in the hot tub or drink.  Skiing will not raise your early m/c risk.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    10 Drinks Per Week?!  That qualifies as a bender to me.  lol.  At least for a woman. A guy, not so much just b/c of body weight and metabolism difference for alcohol.  But 10 drinks a week for a woman?  Woah!  lol.

    I guess you really really really need to figure out what the dr means by 'moderate alcohol consumption'.  That would definitely be under 5 drinks per week in my book. 
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from keane5050. Show keane5050's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I read an article recently that said that the cause of infertility is 1/3 due to the male,  1/3 due to the female, and 1/3 due to both.  For those of you struggling with this, have your husbands all been "checked out".  I don't want to sound harsh at all but it seems like you women are all taking on the responsibility when in fact it may have nothing to do with you at all.  

    If I have overstepped any boundaries, I am sincerely sorry.  I read this board from time to time and my heart aches for you ladies.
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Keane, you are absolutely correct.  My DH got tested 2x but the last was over 2 years ago. I am convinced the problem is w/ him.  Of course, the problem now is that he travels at least 3x per week, and next week, we will both be together at home for 1 night [my flight lands around 8 pm and he is flying out early the next AM], so I think that plus age plus male infertility factors are probably playing a role.  lol.  Cool  Age aside, I want to put TTC on hold for a year b/c I really don't want to be pg or have a newborn while he is deployed. We have no one closer than a 2 hour flight, so if I have any issues, it's going to be a royal PITA. 
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]10 Drinks Per Week?!  That qualifies as a bender to me.  lol.  At least for a woman. A guy, not so much just b/c of body weight and metabolism difference for alcohol.  But 10 drinks a week for a woman?  Woah!  lol. I guess you really really really need to figure out what the dr means by 'moderate alcohol consumption'.  That would definitely be under 5 drinks per week in my book. 
    Posted by ALF72[/QUOTE]

    Not all at once, ALF, spread out! ;)

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Keane, just a little more matronly advice from the girl who just turned 40. ;)  Things we do wrong require apologies.  Presenting facts in a respectful manner is never anything to apologize for.  You have a right to contribute to conversations without apology.  If people don't like your facts or opinions, that's their problem if you are as respectful as you are in their presentation.

    Now that I got that off my chest, thanks for presenting those facts.  I knew it could be the guy, but was unaware of the 1/3, 1/3, 1/3 part.  Women often do take on all the responsibility for TTC other than the fun part, obviously. ;)
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: January TTC : Not all at once, ALF, spread out! ;)
    Posted by kargiver[/QUOTE]

    Even still, who has 2 drinks per day, every day!?  Who has time for that?  Granted, I'm a skinny lightweight who falls asleep after 2 drinks, so I nurse them, but still!  2 drinks per day every day is not 'drinking in moderation' IMO.  No wonder the doctor always presses to define what you mean by 'moderate consumption' in response to their intake question of do you drink, how much, etc. I always say 'moderate' and never figured out why they said 'oh' like they were surprised when in response to their question of how much per week I'd say 2-3 tops.  lol.  I guess I should start replying 'light' when they ask that question. 
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I know, that's quite a bit.  I drink one a day, and I say that's "moderate" at the doc's.  Everything's relative!
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Interesting discussion here!

    ALF--I have read that there is new scientific debate over whether women are actually born with all of their eggs.  I think the science is unclear on this, but it's not my field of expertise!  See this article for an overview of some of the findings that threw this into question.

    Either way, I take your point that egg maturation probably occurs on a longer time scale than the 2WW.  However, implantation occurs at 7-10 days PO, so that is before HPTs are reliable.  I would imagine that whatever the mother does or consumes around the time of implantation could affect the fetus.  So I could see that as a potential mechanism for the finding in kar's study.

    At any rate, my own philosophy is somewhere in between.  I won't drink heavily or casually in the 2ww, but I will have a small drink of wine or beer for a special occasion.

    Kar--I've read that downhill skiing is on the very short list of sports that you shouldn't do at any point during pregnancy (also: horseback riding, scuba diving), due to the risk of serious injury and hard falls.  (This is per recommendation of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.) So I will switch to cross country and snowshoeing if the need arises.  I see your point that the risks are probably greater later in pregnancy, but after my last loss I feel firmly that following the "rules" will be helpful in knowing that I am at least controlling the factors that I can, if I do indeed get a BFP.  

    keane--yes indeed!  any reputable fertility clinic will not progress with fertility treatments without testing both partners!  But TTC can be a complicated journey even without fertility issues, and it is the woman's body that regulates timing, so we end up with much of the responsibility to figure those thigns out.

    EDITED TO ADD: Here is a link to the ACOG recommendations on exercise during pregnancy.  I was surprised to read that there was a longer list of activities they recommended against than I was previously aware of.
    In particular: no waterskiing, gymnastics, and contact sports (they specify hockey, basketball (!), and soccer (!)).

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Either way, I've been TTC for close to 4 years. I'm  going skiing next month. I don't downhill ski b/c I'm a chicken and risk adverse, but I will be going iceskating. If I'd put my life on hold for the last 4 years, and still been in the same situation I am now of not having a baby, I can't even imagine how pissed I'd be at having missed out on all our fun vacations that included rafting, hiking, horseback riding,  etc.  It's great to take all the advice that articles can give, and if you have a baby, well, great!  You can say to yourself 'see, it was worth it all'. But if you try and try, and never have one, or have m/c after m/c anyway, and never have a kid, well, all that advice gets really really frustrating.  I don't even read articles about fertility issues, or how to improve your odds anymore. I've done it all, and all for naught. I'm going to continue what I am doing and what I want to do until I get the BFP. 
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ALF--if you read my post you would see that I am also planning to ski (even during 2WW), as long as I do not have a BFP in hand. I have also done horseback riding during my 2WW before, and I don't see why anyone would recommend against hiking--BFP or no BFP.  And I think I would ice skate even if I did have a BFP.  I've never seen that recommended against, I am competent at it, and I enjoy it quite a bit.
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I saw that. I was commenting in general. I am just weary of articles that say 'do this' or 'don't do that' b/c in my personal experience, I have tried them all and none worked for me.  I'm going to be 40 in June. I'm tired. I want to stop TTC but DH doesn't. 
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I'm sorry ALF for your frustration here.  I don't think a discussion of "rules"--reasonable or unreasonable though they may be--is intended as a judgement of anyone in this forum.  We are each on our own journeys here, and TTC is clearly not a one-size-fits-all-process.  

    Jumping back to the discussion of drinking: My DH has told me that doctors they are taught to never let the patient define "light", "moderate", "heavy" drinking, and ask explicitly what the patient means--how many drinks per day/week?  He's definitely been told by patients that they "don't drink that much at all" only to learn that they drink enough per day to qualify as a major bender if he or I were the one doing the drinking!  It's all in the eye of the beholder, i guess. 
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from kargiver. Show kargiver's posts

    Re: January TTC

    I thought of the risk of injury skiing, but I think I'd risk it if I were a good skier.  Not that I'd suggest that anyone else go against the recommendation, though.  I figure I get in a car and risk serious injury every single time so what's the difference (in my mind)?  Going up and down the stairs carrying laundry you could take quite a tumble.  Icy streets, down you go.  Skiing just doesn't seem more dangerous than general life to me if you're a good skier and don't try slopes you're unfamiliar with or that are 3 diamonds when you're only good at 1 diamond, for instance.  Life is very dangerous, we just take many, many risks to life and limb every day and don't give it a second thought because it's stuff we DO every day - we pretend it's safe to protect our psyches from being paralyzed with fear.  But, it just isn't safe to drive, especially.

    I figure, logically speaking, if I'm willing to get in a car 1000s of times during pregnancy I should also be willing to ski because the risk is probably no different.  We don't have to ski, but neither do we need to get in the car every time we do.

    Risk assessment is very personal, though, it's different for everyone.
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from ALF72. Show ALF72's posts

    Re: January TTC

    Um, the only one who is reading anything as 'judgemental' is you, sienna.

    I don't care what studies say. I am going to continue doing what I want to do when I want to do it until I am actually confirmed pg w/ a BFP.  If anyone wants to do anything else, bully to them.  That's their choice.

    Somehow, my having a different opinion or not caring what a study says or what some board recommends is judgmental b/c you disagree w/ my take on it. Whatever.
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from WhirledPeasPlease. Show WhirledPeasPlease's posts

    Re: January TTC

    ALF, sorry for your frustrations with TTC. I agree that you can't put life on hold and need to live what you (the general "you," not you specifically) feel is a fulfilling life because you never know what may happen or not happen. I think may have misread Siena's last post, though...it seemed like she was agreeing with you, saying that a risk assessment discussions is *not* a judgement and that TTC is different for everyone.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from siena09. Show siena09's posts

    Re: January TTC

    In Response to Re: January TTC:
    [QUOTE] I think may have misread Siena's last post, though...it seemed like she was agreeing with you, saying that a risk assessment discussions is *not* a judgement and that TTC is different for everyone.
    Posted by WhirledPeasPlease[/QUOTE]

    Yes, WPP is right about what I meant. I felt Alf & I were agreeing in the earlier discussion too, so I was surprised by the reaction.  Oh well.  Sorry ALF that I evidently wasn't communicating clearly.
     

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