A Nice Story

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from red75. Show red75's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to RichHillOntario's comment:



    You're right, red.  It is a societal thing.  I'm just trying to affect my little piece of the pie every day. 

     

     

     




    That's all any of us can do Rich. I'm just saying there's no silver bullet. It takes all of us. And it's such an almost impossible issue to grapple with. I mentioned my case, but there was a horrendous suicide rate, far worse than ours, in the town next to mine. It was a native community and a lot of kids saw no hope both due to racism, but moreso due to economics. It is an extraordinarily complex issue, especially in the eyes of a naive, fearful and ostracized kid, which I once was, so I try (and fail) to see it from both sides now (I'm not Joni Mitchell). But we, as adults, at least have to try.

     

     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from 49-North. Show 49-North's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    It's a great story.  And it's a wonderful thing for someone like Matt Duchesne to do for a little girl, not only because he has the money to be able to help out, but because he understand the impact that something like that can have on a kids' life.  Now, whenever she is confronted with a situation which feels like it's too big for her, she can feel that she has people on her side, and will support her, no matter what happens. 

    Like many others, I've been bullied too -- it happened to me as an adult, in the workplace, and I felt completely powerless to do anything, because I was the senior staff member of a non-profit organization, and it was two members of my Board of Directors (my bosses) who were the bullies.

    When things got to the point where I couldn't sleep on Sunday nights because I was dreading what Monday would bring, I finally had to find myself another job, even though I loved the work I was doing.

    It's not just about the schools, or the workplaces -- it's about society's attitudes, exacerbated by the terrible anonimity exploited by cyberbullies. 

     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from hangnail. Show hangnail's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    red, I commend you for fighting through such adversity.  The old saying "This too shall pass" rings true here.  I'm glad you gave it a chance to get better.

    I was also bullied as a kid as so many have.  One night my father said "Stand up to him".  The next day I did.  The kid kicked my azz, but he never bullied me again!  

    Oh, and a few years later, the kid was killed in a car accident.  Not that I got any satisfaction from it, but I couldn't help but think that karma had a hand in his demise.

     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from Fletcher1. Show Fletcher1's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Great story, great guy.

    It's no fun admitting it on this thread, but I remember being on both sides of this.  I remember getting my butt kicked by an much bigger, older kid and I also remember being a bully before I knew any better.  I wasn't terrible to anyone, but I do remember that it seemed perfectly normal to pick on some of the 'weaker' kids, particularly in sports.  I have no idea how it caries into adult years though, as I remember feeling ashamed of it by the time I was 17/18.  I knew I was cowardly by then.

    I think that what hang mentioned is absolutely true about standing up for yourself, if you are able.  Same as hang, I fought back and lost badly once...but it stopped the problem.  It's no fun for a bully when someone fights back.  Or just speak up.  When my dad caught wind of bad behavior on my part it was fixed really, really quickly.

    Now I have two little girls in my house and am terrified of the bullying stories about girls and picturing what they might go through in school.  The Pheobe Prince story in Mass still makes me ill.

     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from SanDogBrewin. Show SanDogBrewin's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Great, great story RHO! Thanks for sharing!

     

    PS. Hope those bullys that jumped the kid on a Florida school bus rot in Jail!





     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from hangnail. Show hangnail's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Fletch I have 2 teenage daughters, as well as a teenage boy.  What you will find is that the girls think it is very impoortant to form "groups"in elementary school, and once they do they are fiercely loyal to them.  Then when they get to junior high new ones develop, and some girls fall out of favor with old friends, thus forming new groups.  This causes a great deal of heartache, but for the most part kids are resilient and they bounce back.  A lot of drama involved but you'll survive.

    As for the boy, I just keep him playing sports and working out year round.  Man, it's expensive, but he sure doesn't have any time to get into too much trouble!

     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from asmaha. Show asmaha's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    Sad but also inspirational stories all around here. For those of you who went through this and came out in the other side, I guarantee you are better role models for the rest of us for your troubles. Keep talking. Keep addressing the issues. I know it would be a blessing for my little girl to learn by these stories if the time ever comes.

     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from kelvana33. Show kelvana33's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    I dont know if I was bullied, but I had a kid that would just not leave me alone. I was a freshman in a gym class with mostly seniors. I was the only freshamn in the class. Every class, this kid, who was pretty big, would do something to me. As we were changing he would blow his nose into the shirt i had to put back on, tie my pant legs in a knot etc..If we played a team sport that day he would always go out of his way to hurt me. It was never all class, but it was every class. he'd do something. One day, the last straw was, we were playing basketball on one side of the gym and the girls class was on the other. He pulled my shorts down and before he did he yelled "hey girls' so they would look over. He was a show off who came from money and had a convertable. he always parked near the teachers.
    The next day, it was hot out. My buddy and I skipped a class, went out to the parking lot and found his car. I poured maple syrup all over the interior and tied his front bumper to a guard rail in the parking lot that he was parked in front of. He had no idea it was me, since he was a jerk to alot of people. he had some enemies.

    The next day, strangley enough, he did nothing to me. But I heard him in the locker room talking about his car and how his dad was going to kill him. We played basketball, he went up for a rebound and as he was in the air I pushed him and down he went. He got up and gave me a beating. Turns out the gym teacher was out having a cigarette, which I did not know so the beating went longer than I had hoped. He got up and began to walk away and as he did I asked him if he wanted his sisters pink panties back. ..I got another beating..The gym teacher came in and asked what the heck was going on...The kid said i pushed him, said something about his sister so he gave me a beating....The gyme teacher looked me and said" Did you do that and say that?"...I said" I sure did"...The gym teacher then asked me "Dave, why in the world would you say that to him, he's twice your size?"....I said, " I'm having a real bad day, my mom made the best pancakes this morning and we had no syrup to pour on them because I wasted it all on this d-bags car."...At this time, there were 3 teachers in the class. If not, I was dead.




     

     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from red75. Show red75's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to asmaha's comment:

    Sad but also inspirational stories all around here. For those of you who went through this and came out in the other side, I guarantee you are better role models for the rest of us for your troubles. Keep talking. Keep addressing the issues. I know it would be a blessing for my little girl to learn by these stories if the time ever comes.



    I know it started out being aimed just at LGBT youth, but I'd suggest to any parents to get their kids to look at the It Gets Better Project. There's tonnes and tonnes of stories and videos on there from gay, straight, whatever, people telling their own heart felt stories about bullying and giving advice on how to fight through by relaying their own stories. Everyone from President Obama to the 49ers to Rick Mercer (my personal favourite vid) to Kermit the Frog to your neighbours. It's unbelievably touching and inspirational, and it's a way kids can have mentors in these situations yet do it in private, just in front of their computer.

     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to SanDogBrewin's comment:

    Great, great story RHO! Thanks for sharing!

     

    PS. Hope those bullys that jumped the kid on a Florida school bus rot in Jail!





     



    Same here, San.  I showed this clip most folks recall from a couple of year ago to a class of mine.  Before I ran it I told them I didn't want them trying this but to beware of the possibility of a response like this should they feel inclined to pick on someone who might make them regret their choice. 

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEqniEvNcnk

     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from NeelyOrrBourque. Show NeelyOrrBourque's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    I met Matt D. in his rookie year thru my Av's buddy. He's come along way. I remember Sakic taking him aside one nite when we were all out having a few pops. It was a nite & day rookie in 10 mins. He was never a bad guy, but had a little chip on his shoulder. Not every rookie is that easy to get thru as we all know. Matt's a great hockey player & a better person.

    Red, I applaude you and I hate to confess to this, but I came from a small town where certain things just weren't accepted and when I was younger I had a distain about guys who were gay. I never bullied anyone even though I was part of the "jock" crowd, but I didn't discourage anyone from doing it either. Until I was in grade 11 when the Breakfast Club movie came out. Remember Emilo's story about taping a kids butt cheeks together? Well, 3 guys on my hockey team were about to do this to a guy who never "came out" until after high-school, but it was evident during those yrs. They had it all planned to do this after gym class. At first I thought they were just all talk, but when they went after him in the locker room I jumped in and pulled them all off. They were po'd at me & started to say I was his closet boyfriend. And I said I'm not gay & if you don't believe me just ask your girl friends who I made out with at Greg's birthday party last weekend. (They were all hot too btw)& they were all jealous boyfriends. One of them started to throw punches at me & the other 2 grabbed on to me. 5 other members of the team all came in at the same time and pulled them off. Once they found out what was going on they all took my side. 

    Irionically enough yrs later my daughter was getting bullied at her school and she was strong enough to go to the guidance councillor about it. I always taught my girls, be kind to everyone, but don't be naive, gullible or absent minded to think everyone will be kind to you. When someone or multiple of people aren't being kind to you. Don't bother trying to find out why. If they don't give you a reason with their initial contact with you. Chances are they don't have a reason that's legit. If they start out with a lie ONLY you will know that. You give them one chance by saying there's a possibility there's been a misunderstanding. If they're not willing to talk reasonably after that. You do all you can to get out of that situation & you go to the nearest supervision. Even IF there's 5 of their words to your one. Doesn't matter. If you feel threatened, don't hang around to give that threat an opportunity to become a promise. She went to the councillor & he just happened to be the same guy I stuck up for. He knew she was my daughter & he took care of the matter immediately. They all got expelled & they all got grounded for months. 3 of the girls that were bullying my daughter were daughters of my old teammates. One of the girls turned out to be gay. 

     

    "Why is a puck called a puck? Because Dirty little bastar d was taken!"- Marty Brodeur

     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from wallydouglas. Show wallydouglas's posts

    Re: A Nice Story


    That was  a nice story to read thankyou for the article.

    Cheers to another great player who strive to make a difference in childrens lives.

     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to NeelyOrrBourque's comment:

     

    Irionically enough yrs later my daughter was getting bullied at her school and she was strong enough to go to the guidance councillor about it. I always taught my girls, be kind to everyone, but don't be naive, gullible or absent minded to think everyone will be kind to you. When someone or multiple of people aren't being kind to you. Don't bother trying to find out why. If they don't give you a reason with their initial contact with you. Chances are they don't have a reason that's legit. If they start out with a lie ONLY you will know that. You give them one chance by saying there's a possibility there's been a misunderstanding. If they're not willing to talk reasonably after that. You do all you can to get out of that situation & you go to the nearest supervision. Even IF there's 5 of their words to your one. Doesn't matter. If you feel threatened, don't hang around to give that threat an opportunity to become a promise. She went to the councillor & he just happened to be the same guy I stuck up for. He knew she was my daughter & he took care of the matter immediately. They all got expelled & they all got grounded for months. 3 of the girls that were bullying my daughter were daughters of my old teammates. One of the girls turned out to be gay. 

     

    "Why is a puck called a puck? Because Dirty little bastar d was taken!"- Marty Brodeur

     




    Now that's what I'm talking about, nite.  I hope that sent a message throughout the student body of your daughter's school. 

     

     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from NeelyOrrBourque. Show NeelyOrrBourque's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to RichHillOntario's comment:

    In response to NeelyOrrBourque's comment:

     

    Irionically enough yrs later my daughter was getting bullied at her school and she was strong enough to go to the guidance councillor about it. I always taught my girls, be kind to everyone, but don't be naive, gullible or absent minded to think everyone will be kind to you. When someone or multiple of people aren't being kind to you. Don't bother trying to find out why. If they don't give you a reason with their initial contact with you. Chances are they don't have a reason that's legit. If they start out with a lie ONLY you will know that. You give them one chance by saying there's a possibility there's been a misunderstanding. If they're not willing to talk reasonably after that. You do all you can to get out of that situation & you go to the nearest supervision. Even IF there's 5 of their words to your one. Doesn't matter. If you feel threatened, don't hang around to give that threat an opportunity to become a promise. She went to the councillor & he just happened to be the same guy I stuck up for. He knew she was my daughter & he took care of the matter immediately. They all got expelled & they all got grounded for months. 3 of the girls that were bullying my daughter were daughters of my old teammates. One of the girls turned out to be gay. 

     

    "Why is a puck called a puck? Because Dirty little bastar d was taken!"- Marty Brodeur

     




    Now that's what I'm talking about, nite.  I hope that sent a message throughout the student body of your daughter's school. 

     



    I think having the Councillor that they had had a huge impact on to how they handled it. I never spoke to him much. Just typical chit chat when I went to the school for a function. I did thank him for helping out & he just said he knows about bully's. I think he wanted to talk about "our" incident while we went to school, but I think he was unsure how to approach it. 

     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to NeelyOrrBourque's comment:

     

    I think having the Councillor that they had had a huge impact on to how they handled it. I never spoke to him much. Just typical chit chat when I went to the school for a function. I did thank him for helping out & he just said he knows about bully's. I think he wanted to talk about "our" incident while we went to school, but I think he was unsure how to approach it. 

     

     



     

    nite, that this councillor went right at it and held those responsible accountable , I applaud him.  I love this as I've seen waaaay too many in the same position handle similar situations too namby-pamby. 

    Instead of actually having, oh horror of horrors, consequences, I've witnessed so-called alternate programs, likely initiated to motivate those so inclined to get on the right path that turn out to be nothing more than rewards in lieu of ramifications i.e., field trips downtown, no curriculum work but instead, among other things, making posters to show the ills of bullying.  What a load of rot.  I wish that guy you know was at my school. 

     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from StanleyCuptotheBruinsin2011. Show StanleyCuptotheBruinsin2011's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to RichHillOntario's comment:

    In this we have an incident that supports the notion of hockey players, for the most part, being the most decent of individuals among the four major North American pro sports.

    http://www.torontosun.com/2013/08/08/colorado-avalanche-centre-matt-duchenes-random-act-of-kindness-gives-ontario-girl-big-boost



    I think PC needs to start working on deal to bring Matt Duchesne to Boston ...

     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from Fletcher1. Show Fletcher1's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to StanleyCuptotheBruinsin2011's comment:

     



    I think PC needs to start working on deal to bring Matt Duchesne to Boston ...

     

    [/QUOTE]


    He signed a 5-year extension 3 weeks ago...it's possible the Avs want to keep him...

    http://www.cbssports.com/nhl/blog/eye-on-hockey/22810652/matt-duchene-signs-fiveyear-contract-extension-with-avalanche

    Since it's summer time though, and things are so slow here, would you share the trade proposal that PC/you would make to get him?  (what's wrong with me...?)

    Florek?  Cunningham?  Matt Benning?

     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from StanleyCuptotheBruinsin2011. Show StanleyCuptotheBruinsin2011's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    How about ..DK for Matt Duchesne ???

     Stanley Cup to the BRUINS in 2011 & 4 more Cups by 2020

     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from red75. Show red75's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to Fletcher1's comment:

     

    Since it's summer time though, and things are so slow here, would you share the trade proposal that PC/you would make to get him?  (what's wrong with me...?)

    Florek?  Cunningham?  Matt Benning?



    Why do you encourage him?

     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from Fletcher1. Show Fletcher1's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to red75's comment:

     

    In response to Fletcher1's comment:

     

     

     

     

    Since it's summer time though, and things are so slow here, would you share the trade proposal that PC/you would make to get him?  (what's wrong with me...?)

    Florek?  Cunningham?  Matt Benning?

     

     



    Why do you encourage him?

     

     

     



    I'm that bored...

     

     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from RichHillOntario. Show RichHillOntario's posts

    Re: A Nice Story

    In response to StanleyCuptotheBruinsin2011's comment:

     



    I think PC needs to start working on deal to bring Matt Duchesne to Boston ...

     

     



    Stanley, you just might be pleasantly surprised with how the Bruins perform this season with the changes management has made.  No need for Duchene despite his act of kindness. 

     

     

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