Re: Congrats everyone for a game played the way we should play.
posted at 10/28/2012 6:27 PM EDT
Man what a whirlwind of a week. I heard the team was a little shorthanded in the secondary, and I was off work this week, so i thought 'what the heck, i'll go do my part and try out.' I flew up to Providence from Charlotte, rented a prius and got to Foxboro late Monday. As I approached the complex, I just managed to catch Bill out in the parking lot, yelling at Josh Boyer. Bill's face was beet red, as i imagine it might have been when his son was busted for pot.
Having little choice, I approached them gingerly, and introduced myself. As I shook Bill's hand, Coach Boyer pulls out a tape measure and records my dimensions, muttering 'hmmm, 6'4", nice wingspan, he just might work'. Bill asks, "can i see you run to the other end of the parking lot and back?" I oblige, and figuring the distance was roughly 400 yards, and my being a heavy smoker, and not having run much in the last fifteen years, I decided to take it slow. About twelve minutes later, I make it back to where Coach and Coach are standing, I lie down on the asphalt and try not to vomit. "You'll do fine," says Bill, "Welcome to the Patriots. Let's go to London."
Needless to say, I was pretty excited. I got to meet everyone! Brady, Welker, Gronk, Vince, it was the best! While I was on the plane I was speaking with some of the guys, and I found out that in order to make room for me on the active roster, they had to place Ras-I Dowling on IR with a phantom injury. I felt a little bad about that, but i figured hey, we're headed for the UK, I'll just keep calm, and carry on, right?
When the plane landed at Heathrow, we loaded up into those awesome tall buses and headed to our hotel, where the team had rented out two of the large ballrooms to do walkthroughs. I hadn't even gotten a uniform yet, or a playbook, or anything, but what I did get was a note on my door from Coach Boyer which read 'report to ballroom C13 for practice at 12:30.' It was already 12:35!! So I raced down toward the elevator, and hit the button repeatedly, hoping it would make the car come down 26 floors a little faster. That was when, out of the corner, I noticed two surly looking gentlemen who looked out of place. I could tell that it was not a recent development, that these two guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in the neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, and said "You're moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air!"
I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say this cab was rare, but i thought 'nah, forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to a house about seven or eight, and i yelled to the cabby 'yo homes smell you later!' I Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.