Let's Have Some Fun

  1. You have chosen to ignore posts from p-mike. Show p-mike's posts

    Let's Have Some Fun

    With almost two weeks to kill before a Super Bowl I don’t really care about, once again it’s that time of year when we take a look back to theorize, scrutinize, patronize and recognize the inane, the mundane, the profane and the insane (on Soul Train) … yes, ladies and gentlemen and boys and girls, it’s the 2010 Postie Awards (accept no substitute) . . .  an arbitrary reconsideration of some of the best (and worst) moments on the BDC Patriots forum in the preceding year.

    Let’s get to it, shall we? 

    The inaugural “Huh?” Award goes to Soxfan33928 who summed up the Pats’ draft in April thusly, “They may not look pretty in shorts, but they look like Victoria Secret models during games.” All together now  . . .   Huh? This nonsensical post set the tone for what would turn out to be a season of wild mood swings among Patriot Nation, but was perhaps best summed up early by a Jests fan . . .

    The “Board in a Nutshell” Award goes to Green New Jersey Troll Bjesuss, who is probably still here under one guise or another, and summed up the entire board succinctly when he posted (inadvertently, we assume) in May, in a thread about off-season moves, “This all doesn’t sense.” No, B . . .  indeed, it does not.

    The “Do as I Say, Not as I Do” Award goes to MvpKilla for this early-season witticism: “ . . . name calling, which is exactly what underdogggg (UD6) was doing, is POINTLESS -- that is what I was saying -- not ‘agree with me or die’ you d*ck.” We’re just guessing here, but the selection committee believes the disguised word is neither duck, deck nor dock.

    The “Tell us how you really feel” Award goes to occasional visitor  frankn, who was quite clear when he said:“I'd rather cheer on Dick Cheney having sex than root for one second for those scummy Jets!!” Who wouldn’t, frank? Who wouldn’t? 

    The “Curly-Haired Boyfriend Dart Board” Award goes to Evil2010, who took Shaughnessy-bashing to a whole ’nother level when he said: “Dan has jumped off and on the Pats bandwagon so many times I'm surprised his  knees can take the punishment. His agent should get him a sneaker endorsement. Air Shaungessys  (sic) the chosen foot ware (sic) of bandwagon leapers.” We realize the columnist’s job is to offer his opinion, not analysis, but it would be nice if Dan actually held one for more than a few minutes at a time.

    The “Because It’s My Show” Award goes to ATJ, for no better reason than he was willing to describe (particular) teams blaming injuries for their lack of success as “pluperfect horsesh*t.” Keep up the good work A.

    The “Apropos of Nothing” Award goes to Muzwell, for reasons that should be obvious. “I can only speak for myself, but I've always been very aware of breasts.  At least since about fifth grade.” (honorable mention in this category goes to The-Artist-Formerly-Known-As-Nick, who, in describing a couple of women who pissed him off at Gillette one day said, “Personally, I wouldn’t mind if they got breast cancer.” It should be noted that, while we on the selection committee believe that it is never a bad time to discuss breasts, these thoughts were posted in a thread about the “pinking” of the NFL in October for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

    The “Any Fonz Reference is a Good Fonz Reference” Award goes to CablesWyndBairn, who likened Tony Dungy admitting that the Pats were clearly the best team in the league after their win over the Colts to everybody’s favorite greaser, Arthur Fonzarelli saying he was “ wr...wrrr...wrrr...wrong.”  Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

    Food for thought: Does the Canadian Fonz go “Eyyyyyy, eh?”  Tongue out

    The “You Heard What I Said” Award goes to themightypatriots, who, on a night in which both Eli and Peyton Manning cost their teams potential comeback victories with bonehead turnovers very late in the game, in a discussion of which was worse, said: “I liked Manning’s choke better.” We all did, mighty. We all did.

    The “Oh, No He Didn’t” Award (and a hearty chuckle) goes to IraqSteve who, in a thread discussing Richard Seymour punching Ben Roethlisberger in the face said, “I think he asked Seymour for his daughter's phone number...”  Nice.

    The “Here Comes Kool-Ade” Award goes to BubbainHawaii, who was called out by the once and future Russ Griswald for daring to question the wisdom of the great god, Belichick,, to which Bubba replied. “Trust me, BB is not going to leave his girlfriend for you.” Well . . .   we certainly hope not, Bubba. Heaven forfend.

    In the deeply-coveted “I Wish I Had Said That” category, repeat offender CablesWyndBairn responded to a post by patsfansince1966, defending the right of black journalists to play the race card with “I'm still flogging myself for the Inquisition, I just can't move past it.” I wish I had said that.

    The “Isn’t it Ironic” award is being coupled with a supplemental “Huh?” Award, this year, and both go to the elusive Jaycee1m for  . . . Well . . .   for this . . .  unedited and in its entirety: "No such word as "disrespecting" Yes, it has become popular mis use by a small percentage of Americans, such as aint, double negatives, and other aledged words, commonly used by the minority uneducated ( many by choice ). So if you do not want to be lumped in with that crowd, think, before you speak, and make it correct use of the English language” The committee believes it speaks for most forum members when it asks, once again . . . “Huh?”

    In a stunning upset, the “Please Seek Help” Award goes to Patsfansince1966 – who outdistanced early-season favorite, Sybil, by opining (among a wide range of other ridiculous notions) that “A true weirdo is a person that says that not all whites are racist.” Just for future reference, '66, ingesting an inordinate amount of hallucinogens does not earn you a “PhD in chemistry.”

    The Mighty Patriots Award goes (naturally) to themightypatriots, who responded to a thread asking what Green New Jersey would do differently in the Dec. rematch said, “The Jets will eat sh*t and die.” Which, of course, they did.

    The “Truth in Advertising” Award goes to chrisakawoody, for the following post, that should be self-explanatory. “Sure, the slide of the Colts and Manning this year is an intriguing story (which I predicted last summer...but, then again, I also predicted the Pats would struggle to go 9-7) . . .” Those who like to predict everything but only remind us of some things could take a lesson from woody.

    The “I’m Rubber, You’re Rubber” Award goes to qball369, for making the selection committee giggle audibly in yet another of Underdog(gggggg) and TexasPats’ endless Spygate debates when he suggested UD6’s time might be better spent on a Colts forum, where he and his brethren could “take turns pasting Peter Kings columns about how awesome Peyton Manning is and then fall all over yourselves drooling with naked idolization of his greatness.” It was that phrase, “ drooling with naked idolization” that sealed the victory for qball in this category.

    The inaugural Photoshop Award (there’s no joke here, kids) goes, naturally, to BradyMossFan, just for general outstanding work in the field of making funny pictures . . .   but especially for this shot of Dan Connolly taking care of his bear.





    The “Seriously, Please Seek Help” Award (Redux) goes to to the late, unlamented knightsailor, who tried harder than almost anyone on the board to draw attention to himself with his incessant Brady-bashing, finally broke through with “If I had his money I could free hundreds of thousands of sex slave children with a small percentage of my net worth.” But who would free you, knightsailor . . .   who would free you?
     
    Alert visitors will also remember that knightsailor was summarily banned not long after this post appeared . . .  and even more alert visitors know he’s not really gone.

    The “Let Me Be Clear” Award goes to Davedsone, who made himself understood succinctly by describing sportzbozo1 as “like five losers stapled together” in a thread questioning the usefulness of essential red-shirt rookie receiver Taylor Price. The selection committee is generally against what Jim Rome would describe as “clone-on-clone” crime, but funny is funny.

    The “You Walked Right Into That Onel” Award goes to MarkW1, who responded “He has the same name as your favorite porn star?” When Chasa B started a thread about his “favorite thing about Danny Woodhead.”

    The “I Know You Are, But What Am I” Award goes to prolate0spheroid for referring to Peyton Manning as “Mr. Pouty Face Goober Head” in the Archie Manning thread (which, of course, was only peripherally about Archie). Sometimes you’ve just got to channel that inner-child.

    The “Language is Your Friend” Award goes to Sam-Adams, who described Baltimore’s uninspired play against the generally inept Cincy Bungles in week 17 as “buffoonacy.” Honorable mention was seriously considered in this category for the wonderfully incongruent phrase, “societally progressing their status,” from the minority coaching hires thread – but the selection committee doesn’t like to encourage Sybil.

    The “Truth Shall Set You Free” Award goes to agcsbill, who, when asked if Rex Ryan would shut up for even one second during the two-week Super Bowl run-up, should New Jersey achieve such an absurd (for them) goal said: “We’ll never know, will we?”Surely not in this lifetime, bill.

    The “Christmas in January” Award goes to justme2, who offered this advice as New Jersey  prepared for its divisional-round dance with New England: "I would suggest (if they haven't all ready) that the jets all meet and write letters to Santa Claus asking for the 85 Bears defense … ” The Pats subsequent tank job in the rubber match does not make this post any less funny.

    The “Clarity of Thought” Award goes to apdynasty, who summed up the realistic threat of New Jersey’s trash-talkers succinctly when he said, “Antonio Cromartie couldn’t play dead in a Western.” (see above for disclaimer).

    The “Ironic Irony” Award goes to something called Cloudyandrain, who was another of our brand new posters who magically showed up on January 17 to offer his two cents before disappearing from our lives forever. His contribution to the board  was an admonition not to respond to trolls, which he displayed by promptly engaging another one-day wonder from Greater New Jersey in an argument about grammatically correct structure, of all things. I think this post pretty much speaks for itself:  "Also, you can't use a conjunction as the first word of a sentence because it fuction to be conjointing two sentences.Your grammar is patheic. Get a life.” Ouch!
     

    And lastly, as many of you know, being on the selection committee prohibits prairiemike from being eligible for any and all Postie Awards, but the positive reaction to the following -- on Thanksgiving, I might add -- was so overwhelming (meaning that somebody actually mentioned it), that the other member of the committee (my dog, Ted) has seen fit to offer honorable mention in the "You Can’t Kill Funny" category to the following entry, which answered the question, posted by something called ColtsMan73 during the Pats-Lions game on Turkey Day: How many bail out bullsh*t calls are the Cheatriots going to get? To which, p-mike responded:“They're going to get as many as it takes until your head explodes -- at which point all the homeless of Indianapolis will have soup for at least one day.”That’s it.Self-aggrandizing moment over.You may now go back to whatever it was you were doing.

    And here's looking foward to an even more amusing 2011.

    Cool

    Please remember to tip your bartenders and waitresses.


     
     
  2. You have chosen to ignore posts from agcsbill. Show agcsbill's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Nice to see I made the cut!  THANKS!  In a season of memorable quips and discussions you are to be commended for keeping track...  Of all things this season I recall the most.. 

    my award for "Best pi**ing" contest!"  Goes to UD6 and TexasPat..  boy, have you ever seen two posters go at it time and time again?  They've taken over strings.

    "I can't help it award"  to Leon and his ever present multiple personalities..  he sounds the same time and time again and rarely talks football.
     
  3. You have chosen to ignore posts from Stommmper. Show Stommmper's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    I think someone has WAYYYY too much time on his hands. But you spell nice!Yell
     
  4. You have chosen to ignore posts from niz-58. Show niz-58's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Let's Have Some Fun:

    Absolutely hysterical, Mike!

    I had to stop reading here at work and compose myself before I finished reading  your post.
     
  5. You have chosen to ignore posts from p-mike. Show p-mike's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE]I think someone has WAYYYY too much time on his hands. But you spell nice!
    Posted by Stommmper[/QUOTE]

    Hey! Here's an idea . . .

    If you really want to make your point, why don't you have six or 10 of your alter egos log in and agree with you, there, Syb.

    Cool

     
  6. You have chosen to ignore posts from PatsEng. Show PatsEng's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Oh I missed the cut again. I feel like underdoggg in the shower room, just a little short
     
  7. You have chosen to ignore posts from MarcW1. Show MarcW1's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Let's Have Some Fun : Absolutely hysterical, Mike! I had to stop reading here at work and compose myself before I finished reading  your post.
    Posted by niz-58[/QUOTE]

    That's noy a post, it's a book.
     
  8. You have chosen to ignore posts from niz-58. Show niz-58's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE]Oh I missed the cut again. I feel like underdoggg in the shower room, just a little short
    Posted by PatsEng[/QUOTE]

    You should've gotten honorable mention just for that avatar.
     
  9. You have chosen to ignore posts from Rerun85. Show Rerun85's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    As much as I hate to compliment anybody this is the best thing I've read on here all week.

    May you be Blessed.
     
  10. You have chosen to ignore posts from Dessalines. Show Dessalines's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Funny stuff p-mik.e.  Thanks for posting.  Made my day
     
  11. You have chosen to ignore posts from jcour382. Show jcour382's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    good stuff...

    not sure if its an anual thing but you should make it one... and keep all the catgories....and add some new ones like most annoying troll- leon, troll with most psuedonames- leon, dumbest troll -underoos, etc etc hottest poster- ne game...maybe this would encourage more appealing avatars, like her in a tiny weeney bikini?? just a thought

    well done!
     
  12. You have chosen to ignore posts from Muzwell. Show Muzwell's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Thanks for the award.  I will cherish it forever.  It will take its place on my mantle right next to the second best average ribbon from my 6th grade candlepin bowling league.  Just let me know when the award ceremony will be, I will need to line up a date at one of the local gentlemen's clubs.

    I do think however, you shortchanged koft.  He should have received some sort of recognition for truly believing that Tom Brady was inspired by his post to perform at the level he did this season.  Maybe the "No really, you need to get help right now" award?
     
  13. You have chosen to ignore posts from threejak. Show threejak's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Nice to see American productivity running so high here this morning....
    Most inspiring...
     
  14. You have chosen to ignore posts from Muzwell. Show Muzwell's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE]Oh I missed the cut again. I feel like underdoggg in the shower room, just a little short
    Posted by PatsEng[/QUOTE]

    I think you're the leader in the clubhouse for 2011 with this one.
     
  15. You have chosen to ignore posts from CablesWyndBairn. Show CablesWyndBairn's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Very clever P-Mike!  I had no idea the Postie awards were for real!  I don't remember what I said 20 minutes ago, let alone over the course of the "postie year", so thanks for recalling some of our best and worst moments.  A good read for sure.   

    I am impressed that you catalogue all of the witticisms as well as the posts replete with bad grammar -- you know, the ones that look like they were either written by an unfrozen Neanderthal discovered in the Carpathians or a Jets troll.  Indistinguishable I'm sure. 

    Thanks for the laugh!   
     
  16. You have chosen to ignore posts from zbellino. Show zbellino's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Haha, great collection. 
     
  17. You have chosen to ignore posts from fourjays30. Show fourjays30's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Great stuff and I enjoyed the read.
     
  18. You have chosen to ignore posts from BubbaInHawaii. Show BubbaInHawaii's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE] The “Here Comes Kool-Ade” Award goes to BubbainHawaii , who was called out by the once and future Russ Griswald for daring to question the wisdom of the great god, Belichick,, to which Bubba replied. “Trust me, BB is not going to leave his girlfriend for you.” Well . . .    we certainly hope not, Bubba. Heaven forfend. Posted by p-mike[/QUOTE]

    You had me laughing so hard, the guy next door to my office had to ask me to tone it down.

    I forgot about that line. I'm honored to have made your list, but my one liners don't come close to some of your stuff.

    I do have to ask, how long did it take for you to write this stuff...and how the heck did you find the quotes after such a long time?

    Have always enjoyed your sense of humor.Laughing
     
  19. You have chosen to ignore posts from p-mike. Show p-mike's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Let's Have Some Fun : You had me laughing so hard, the guy next door to my office had to ask me to tone it down. I forgot about that line. I'm honored to have made your list, but my one liners don't come close to some of your stuff. I do have to ask, how long did it take for you to write this stuff...and how the heck did you find the quotes after such a long time? Have always enjoyed your sense of humor.
    Posted by BubbaInHawaii[/QUOTE]

    It's actually not anywhere near as time-consuming as some of my detractors might like to think. I read the forum almost every day, and while I don't see everything, whenever I see something that makes me laugh, I cut-and-paste it in a notebook document that I update as the season goes along. Then I throw in a few snarky comments of my own and . . . .  voila'!
     
  20. You have chosen to ignore posts from EnochRoot. Show EnochRoot's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Great job, pm. Made my snowed-in day.
     
  21. You have chosen to ignore posts from harleyroadking11. Show harleyroadking11's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    I must learn to be more harsh and sarcastic...this will be my off season mantra

    always a bridesmaid never a bride
     
  22. You have chosen to ignore posts from harleyroadking11. Show harleyroadking11's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    ...and great thread Mike
     
  23. You have chosen to ignore posts from TFB12. Show TFB12's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Awesome job p-mike, that is brilliant work!  The amount of time that must have taken, all the notes you keep and then to put it all together like this, WOW! Not just WOW but F'ING WOW!!  That is dedication my friend! 

    I have printed that out and will keep at my desk to read periodically for a good laugh.  And thank you for the photoshop mention, and kind words.  I was a bit worried as I read that I might be mentioned about something I said during the Randy Moss trade.

    Thank you and all the others here who make this a fun place. 

    P.S.That thank you does not go out to the mods who end up deleting all my artwork, lol!!
     
  24. You have chosen to ignore posts from digger0862. Show digger0862's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    Thanks for the laughs prairie.
     
  25. You have chosen to ignore posts from Stommmper. Show Stommmper's posts

    Re: Let's Have Some Fun

    In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Let's Have Some Fun : Hey! Here's an idea . . . If you really want to make your point, why don't you have six or 10 of your alter egos log in and agree with you, there, Syb.
    Posted by p-mike[/QUOTE]
    See, this is whats funny, I had the old Stomper and the Jerry Springer, where do you come up with Im others, oh and the doushey bag who ever dr football is  was saying Im him which I am not.  Im guessing Dave pissed him off and he jumped on the hate Dave bandwagon
     

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