A breakfast best served cold

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Romney, mocked mercilessly for his presidential aspirations, meant to introduce a joke by saying, ''As we gather here for a bit of fun . . . '' What he said instead was, ''As we gather here for a bit of fear . . . ''

''Isn't that the truth,'' Romney quipped, and the audience roared.

And so it was yesterday at Boston's legendary political roast -- a caustic, no-holds-barred marriage of fun and fear of being sent up by some of the state's most prominent politicians and candidates. As in past years, who they were, which political party they belonged to, and whether they had committed any recent gaffes determined how badly the barbs stung.

There were targets aplenty.

The biggest bull's eye was Romney, a Republican who took a verbal beating by just about every Democrat at the microphone. Boston City Council President Michael F. Flaherty was not kidding when he turned to Romney early on and said, ''We're going to have you for breakfast.''

House Speaker Salvatore F. DiMasi, his remarks carrying their characteristic bite, presented Romney with a collection of mock gifts, including a replica of an Academy Award.

''For a great job of acting like you really enjoyed being governor of Massachusetts,'' DiMasi deadpanned.

DiMasi then gave Romney a minuscule piece of paper -- ''a list of all your accomplishments as governor'' -- and noted that the governor was not accepting a salary from the state.

''I guess it's true what they say,'' DiMasi said. ''You get what you pay for.''

But Romney, in the true spirit of the breakfast, gave as good as he got, delivering pithy one-liners and a memorable dig at Attorney General Thomas F. Reilly, a Democrat whose campaign for governor has hit snags this year. (The biggest hitch came when his pick for lieutenant governor, State Representative Marie St. Fleur, quickly withdrew from the race after revelations about her financial woes.)

''It's not my place to comment on how Tom Reilly's campaign is being managed,'' Romney said. ''Except to say that I think we now know where Michael Brown went after he left FEMA.'' (Brown became the figurehead for the federal government's inept response to Hurricane Katrina.)

Reilly was a popular target.

Lieutenant Governor Kerry Healey, the likely Republican nominee for governor, took a few swipes, at one point holding up a mock campaign slogan for Deval L. Patrick, who is expected to face Reilly in the Democratic primary. It read: ''Who needs a campaign slogan when you're running against Tom Reilly?''

Patrick asked if the audience had noticed how Reilly kept borrowing themes from his campaign.

''Mark my words,'' Patrick said. ''By the time of the primary, Tom Reilly will be a black man from the South Side of Chicago.''

For his part, Reilly stuck mostly to self-deprecation.

''Now did I give them some good material or what?'' Reilly said, joking that he had even considered Kevin Weeks, a former sidekick of fugitive gangster James ''Whitey'' Bulger, for his running mate.

''He's loyal, right?,'' Reilly said of Weeks, who cooperated with the government in several prosecutions. ''And he works well with federal agencies.''

Reilly then left the breakfast early, prompting more broadsides.

''Tom Reilly, another great political move, buddy,'' said state Representative Brian Wallace, expressing disbelief that Reilly had left such a high-profile gathering. ''Geez, that guy is a piece of work.''

Healey, who lives in Prides Crossing, a wealthy section of Beverly, was routinely painted as a wealthy, out-of-touch Republican who didn't give a darn about the poor, immigrants, or anyone else below her social stratum.

Even Romney couldn't resist.

''Just the other day I was over at her home for dinner,'' he said. ''She was serving 'I Can't Believe It's Not Caviar.' ''

And what St. Patrick's Day breakfast would be complete without some good old ethnic humor?

US Representative Stephen F. Lynch joked that DiMasi and Senate President Robert E. Travaglini, both Italian Americans who represent Boston's North End, had worked out a new healthcare plan that replaced Medicaid with a new program called ''Medicaid marinara.''

Under the plan, Lynch said, North End restaurants will be designated community health centers. ''I mean, hey, eggplant, transplant, what's the difference?'' he said.

''Did I mention, once you're in the plan, you can't get out,'' said Lynch, invoking the movie ''The Godfather,'' as the audience roared.

Tinged with testosterone and tradition, yesterday's breakfast, which drew more than 1,000 people to the Boston Convention & Exhibition Center and was televised nationally, had one notable exception from years past: Longtime City Councilor James M. Kelly of South Boston, who is sick, could not attend, though he called in and spoke live to the host of the event, state Senator Jack Hart.

Boston Mayor Thomas M. Menino was late to the breakfast because he had paid a visit to Kelly at home. But Menino made it in time to land a few zingers.

''It seems like every day you read in the papers more stories [about] local politicians who never paid their taxes or their student loans,'' Menino said. ''Not everyone has fessed up, though. Take Sal DiMasi . . . I know he still owes $300 to Hair Club for Men.''

''Travaglini,'' he continued. ''What are you laughing at? You owe $400.''

''Of course, I'm not completely innocent here,'' Menino continued. ''I still owe money to Hooked on Phonics.''

Scott Helman can be reached at shelman@globe.com.